Gratitude Series 2018, Day Four: A Form of Movement

I am so grateful for dance, and specifically for this dance, performed by Robert and Alex on "So You Think You Can Dance" to the song "Fix You" by Coldplay.  The choreographer wrote the piece to tell the story of him helping his mom recover from a surgery, and I think it's beautiful on that level alone - one person helping another through a physical trial.

But I see something else when I watch it, something that I don't think was intended by any of the artists involved, so I hope they will forgive me for putting this spin on it.  This is such a beautiful theological picture.  There's two people limping through a broken world together - and then, in the middle, there's this vision of the way they both want things to be:  bodies strong and whole and functioning perfectly, spirits free and joyful, the two relating to each other with grace and ease and unity - and then it goes back to the two limping along together.  I think the middle part shows the perfect picture of what we all long for, and something like how we will be and how we will relate to each other in the new heavens and the new earth.  And the parts at the beginning and the end show the best ways to be in community now - that even though we're broken and life is hard and it can be an awkward struggle to go through trials together, that there's also great beauty in helping your loved ones through their struggles, and leaning on others as you go through a struggle.  That in fact, this is the most beautiful and meaningful part of this life.

I think this dance is profound and I love it and I'm so grateful for it.

Gratitude Series 2018, Day Three: Something Money Can't Buy

Zoey wrote "I love my mom" and drew a pic of my birthday party

 I am grateful for the love of my children.  Parenting stretches me to my absolute limits, but the love from the kids makes parenting the most amazing, beautiful experience. 

Josh shows his love through running to us with big hugs, through sharing his love of his favorite things with us, and through sweet cuddles during story time.  

Zoey is constantly expressing her love exuberantly through songs, words, pictures, hugs, and anything else she can think of.  Giving and receiving love is like her oxygen.  

Ivy shows her love through the way her eyes light up when you walk in the room, through clapping and crawling towards us and pats on the back when you pick her up.  

I am so grateful for these children and all these expressions of love. 

Gratitude Series 2018, Day Two: An Article of Clothing

I am grateful for holiday socks.  They are a cheery, colorful, fun item of clothing that brings me joy during the cold, dark months of November through March. 

Sometimes, holiday socks also remind me of friends.  I had a pair of St. Patrick's Day socks that reminded me of my friend Judy and our trip to Ireland during a Spring Break several years ago, but I loved them so much that I wore holes into them.  I was telling another friend, Susan, that I would have to throw my beloved St. Patrick's Day socks away, and she kindly bought me another pair.  So now I think of her when I wear my new socks, and I also think about how you can bring so much joy to your friends by simply listening to the things that are important to them and then remembering those things when the opportunity comes up to buy a gift or offer an encouraging word.

Gratitude Series 2017, Day One: A Moment of Inspiration

Last year, I started the practice of blogging about something I was thankful for every day during the month of November.  I used the prompts on a 30 day gratitude poster and found this a helpful way to think of some things that I wouldn't normally think of on a gratitude list.  So I'm going to do the same thing this November, using a new list (to the left).  I won't put most of these on Facebook because, let's be honest, I already overpost.  But I would love to have you follow along, and if any of you want to join me, publicly or privately, that would be rad!


To kick things off:  A Moment of Inspiration You're Grateful For

It inspires me whenever a person chooses to go against peer pressure and speak up for what they believe is right.  This can happen in so many contexts - school, the workplace, politics, pretty much anywhere there's a group of people who have formed a subculture with a prescribed way to act.

The specific moment I'm thinking of is when Senator John McCain made his midnight decision to vote against one of the Affordable Care Act repeals.  The Republicans have been attempting to repeal the Affordable Care Act since the last election, and this bill came closer than any of the previous attempts to succeeding.  The vote on this bill was evenly split and any additional Republican who voted against it was going to cost the party the chance to repeal.  For the Republicans, the chance to say that they repealed Obamacare would have been a big political win (and the inability to do so with a Republican majority in Congress and a Republican president is a political defeat).

Like his Republican colleagues, McCain wants to see changes to the ACA, but he felt like this particular repeal was being pushed through in the wrong way.  The bill did not get refined by going through committee, it did not receive a Congressional Budget Office score (giving a good estimate of how much money would be spent or saved with the changes in legislation).  It didn't ensure that people with pre-existing conditions would be protected.  McCain felt there was not enough information, and not assurances that this bill was going to be better than the health care laws already in place.  McCain knew he was costing his party major bragging rights and he probably faced tremendous pressure to vote with the party.  Nevertheless...he persisted :), because he felt like it was the right thing to do.  And I find that to be very inspiring.

Another notable thing about this is that, from reports, Senator McCain didn't lose friends over this decision to act on his conscience, even though it ruined a political opportunity for many of his colleagues.  I think people can put themselves in a position to be the "moment of inspiration" by choosing to act consistently with your values in the thousands of smaller moments leading up to the big moment.  I don't know that much about John McCain, and I'm sure there's "gotcha" moments in his past (like there would be for any of us), but in general I think he has earned respect from his Congressional colleagues by the way he has conducted himself during his long time in office.  That makes it easier to be the maverick, vote your conscience, but not lose all your friendships in the process.  I think this is true in other contexts, too - the more you act with integrity in life, the better positioned you will be to stand up for what's right and have people receive it well.

Stitch Fix

What you see when you first open the box

 I'm writing this blog in case there's anyone reading this who is thinking about trying Stitch Fix and wants to get a better idea of how the service works. 

What is Stitch Fix and how does it work?

Stitch Fix is an online clothing styling company.  You fill out a profile with your sizes and style preferences.  Then, they send you a box with 5 pieces that the stylist picks out for you.  You have 3 days to try it on, decide what you want to keep, and return the rest.  The cost of shipping both ways is "free" (built into the cost of the service) and they include an envelope that makes return shipping very easy. 

Is there a minimum cost?

Style Card

There is a minimum $20 styling fee, which is applied towards any purchase you make from the box.  I've received about 10 boxes and have never not found at least one thing that I really, genuinely wanted to keep (so I've never "lost" the styling fee because it's always been applied to a purchase). 

Pros and Cons:

The pros are 1) you can avoid in person shopping - anyone who has ever had the painful experience of shopping with me knows that this is a HUUUUGE plus for me, even before kids, 2) you will probably receive some pieces that you would never have picked out for yourself but you end up loving, and 3) it's pretty high quality stuff.  Stitch Fix jeans in particular are amazing. 

The only real con is that you might end up spending too much money.  You have a lot of control in this - how often you order a new box, how high or low you ask Stitch Fix to set price controls, how many pieces you choose to keep.  But I have found that when you get a box on your doorstep and it feels like Christmas opening it, and then you try the pieces on and at least some of them look great, it is *really* hard to resist buying.  (And this is coming from a person who errors WAY on the side of cheap - i can go into Target with a gift certificate and not manage to spend it all.) 

What comes in a box?

Cardigan and jeans

I'm showing my most recent box here.  Here is how the pieces looked when I tried them on, and what I decided to keep. 

First up:  1) cardigan, and 2) jeans.  When I first saw that cardigan, I thought, "No way."  It looked way too Mr. Rogers, and while I do have a total nerdy side (and I would love it if I someday have a job that, if it were a piece of clothing, looked exactly like this), it's not what I'm looking to show off ala Stitch Fix clothing.   But then I tried the cardigan on and it was so warm and comfortable, and that *almost* changed my mind, as I'm always always always cold when the temp dips below 75.  But ultimately, I just didn't think I would wear it enough, so the verdict on cardigan is Return. 

Dress

The jeans were okay, but they were a little short, fit strangely in the waist, and were too expensive to be anything less than a perfect fit.  Stitch Fix can get you a pair of jeans that will be the best fit you've ever had, so it doesn't make sense to keep them when they miss the mark, even by just a little bit.  The verdict on the jeans is also Return.

Next, i tried on the 3) dress.  I loved this one.  This is exactly the kind of piece that I hope for from Stitch Fix - something that shows a stylist thoughts about how to flatter your body type, and in a print that I wouldn't have chosen for myself but like once it's on.  Verdict:  Keep.

Casual brown shirt

Then, onto the 4) casual brown shirt.  Often Stitch Fix is great about sending a plain colored, casual shirt with some added embellishment that makes the shirt both versatile (because of the plain color) and special.  I was hoping this tie on the stomach would be that, but instead it was just odd.  It might be that my torso is too long for this shirt to work well, but it shows just a bit of tummy and not in a flattering way.  Meanwhile, it adds volume to your abdomen, which I'm not sure who's looking for that feature in a shirt, but it's not me.  Verdict:  Return.

Mixed print shirt

Lastly, I tried on the 5) mixed print shirt.  I loved this one.  I need casual fall shirts, it will work well with my chasing-young-kids lifestyle, and it's interesting how it mixes two materials.  Verdict:  Keep.

This is a pretty typical box for me.  One or two pieces that I definitely want to buy, two more that I'm on the fence about and decide based on budget and wardrobe needs, and one or two that are just total fails (but that's not bad for a stylist that knows you only through the Internet!). 

So there's my Stitch Fix preview.  If any of you want to try it and feel like doing me a solid at the same time, here's my referral code.  Thanks for reading!

In Defense of Thoughts and prayers

I've seen lots of social media push back this week on people offering "thoughts and prayers" in the wake of a tragedy, particularly regarding the shooting in Las Vegas.  And I do get these posters' frustration - they are sad to see more people suffering and they want to see action to fix things.  I share this desire for policy action - we've had two shootings this month that were close to home and i would LOVE to see gun regulations tighten up.

But, i want to offer up some push back to this thoughts and prayers push back:

1.  It is a false dichotomy to claim that posting about thoughts and prayers cannot go with taking action (whether this action is sending aid to Puerto Rico, calling your legislator about gun control, donating blood, etc.).  You can do both, and many people do.

2.  For people of faith (like myself), praying is not "doing nothing".  You may not share the same belief system, and if you don't believe in prayer then nobody is asking you to pray, but it's disrespectful to people of faith to dismiss prayers like that.  Along these same lines, please do not write that you're praying or sending prayers or anything along these lines if you're not actually praying, because i think this is also a disrespectful way to use prayer.

3.  Sending thoughts and prayers is a phrase saying that you're supporting that community.  These messages of support can add up and really bolster people who are suffering.  Just because you can't fix the situation doesn't mean you can't help someone by letting them know that you care and they are not forgotten.

4.  If you're completely unconnected to the event in any way and you still post about thoughts and prayers, and that message never directly reaches any of the victims, and that message is mostly about making you feel better - so what?!  I've seen Facebook used in a thousand worse ways than someone expressing an empathetic message towards victims of a disaster or atrocity.

36 Hours in Reno / Tahoe

Welcome to my 36 hours in Reno / Tahoe blog!  I'm lucky to have 2 sets of family visitors this month, so that's given me reason to think about how to be a tourist in my own town.  As I put this blog post together, I realize how difficult the job of a travel writer can be (and then i look back at that sentence

Tahoe stop

and laugh, because what a dream job that would be!):  you're writing for as broad an audience as possible, but vacations will look totally different based on the age, family composition, and interests of the travelers.  My recommendations here are based on things that I enjoy about my area (so casinos are not included, and outdoors are included heavily).  My sister was the most recent visitor, so many of the pictures feature her.  Here we go...

Friday Night:

When you first arrive in Reno, I would head to the downtown River Walk.  Enjoy the Truckee River and the surrounding mountains.  Once you've worked up an appetite, there are several good restaurants in the downtown and Midtown area.  I would recommend Campo, a nice Italian restaurant near the river walk.  After that, check out a fun independent bookstore nearby called Sundance Books and Music.

Truckee brunch with the babies

Saturday Morning:

Saturday is Tahoe day!  Start off the day in historic downtown Truckee.  Truckee is a small mountain town just outside of the ski resorts on the north side of Lake Tahoe.  You can grab brunch at one of several cute cafes along the main shopping strip, buy a Lake Tahoe souvenir, and dream about how you will furnish your future vacation home at Lake Tahoe.  

Saturday Afternoon:

From Truckee, proceed to Lake Tahoe.  My advice here is to go in with a rough plan of a few places that you would like to stop and see, but also to be flexible.  We had hoped to see Emerald Bay, which is arguably the most picturesque spot on the entire Lake, but which also has extremely limited parking.  It was a zoo the day we visited, so we changed our itinerary to instead visit Tahoe Dam on North Lake, and we then made a second stop at Baldwin Beach near South Lake.  All the places along Lake Tahoe are breathtakingly beautiful in their own way, and depending on the season / time of day / events happening, some places will be easier to access than others.  If you keep plans held loosely in the first place, you can enjoy whatever stop you end up making.  (If you don't want to be flexible, then you need to be early :).)

Random stop along West Tahoe

Saturday Evening:

After an eventful outdoor day, I'm usually tired and hungry, so I'm ready for a big meal close to home.  Casa Grande in Northwest Reno serves up delicious and filling Mexican food and generous margaritas in a family friendly environment.

Sunday Morning:

One of the up and coming streets in Reno is Dickerson Road.  Start the morning off with a short, beautiful hike in the Oxbow Nature Study Area, which is at the very end of Dickerson Road.  After working up an appetite, get brunch at Oxbow Cafe.  After brunch, you can check out the art galleries (if they happen to be open - hours are unpredictable!) and stroll through Sierra Water Gardens.