Tuesday, October 3, 2017

In Defense of Thoughts and prayers

I've seen lots of social media push back this week on people offering "thoughts and prayers" in the wake of a tragedy, particularly regarding the shooting in Las Vegas.  And I do get these posters' frustration - they are sad to see more people suffering and they want to see action to fix things.  I share this desire for policy action - we've had two shootings this month that were close to home and i would LOVE to see gun regulations tighten up.

But, i want to offer up some push back to this thoughts and prayers push back:

1.  It is a false dichotomy to claim that posting about thoughts and prayers cannot go with taking action (whether this action is sending aid to Puerto Rico, calling your legislator about gun control, donating blood, etc.).  You can do both, and many people do.

2.  For people of faith (like myself), praying is not "doing nothing".  You may not share the same belief system, and if you don't believe in prayer then nobody is asking you to pray, but it's disrespectful to people of faith to dismiss prayers like that.  Along these same lines, please do not write that you're praying or sending prayers or anything along these lines if you're not actually praying, because i think this is also a disrespectful way to use prayer.

3.  Sending thoughts and prayers is a phrase saying that you're supporting that community.  These messages of support can add up and really bolster people who are suffering.  Just because you can't fix the situation doesn't mean you can't help someone by letting them know that you care and they are not forgotten.

4.  If you're completely unconnected to the event in any way and you still post about thoughts and prayers, and that message never directly reaches any of the victims, and that message is mostly about making you feel better - so what?!  I've seen Facebook used in a thousand worse ways than someone expressing an empathetic message towards victims of a disaster or atrocity.

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