What will I do with all my time?

This is my attempt to be funny.

When people hear that Zoey's starting kindergarten this fall, meaning two of my three kids will be enrolled in full time school, the first question is, "what are you going to do with all your time?"  (I'm not referring to any one person - this has been asked by pretty much everyone I've talked to about it.)  I know that it's meant somewhat rhetorically, in contrast to what life is like with all 3 kids at home.  But I have a blog, so here's the answer!

First, because apparently I'm feeling defensive (and writing on behalf of all stay at home parents with some of their kids in school), I'm going to relativize "all that time":

• 180 days of the year are school days, so the other 185 days of the year, all 3 kids are at home.
• On those school days, the early mornings and then afternoon / evenings are the craziness of a 3 kid family, and those times right before and right after school are much crazier because of school.  (When it was just Josh in school, I actually preferred the days off of school, not just because I like spending time with him, but because they are easier.  There's lots of hustle and bustle that goes with school, as well as rough transition times.)
• The special needs tasks continue, which include one or more appointments per week, and miscellaneous things like gathering paperwork for insurance, extra communicating with the school, ordering and picking up meds, and researching something or other.
• Some of the volume of work throughout the day (laundry / dishes / cleaning, grocery shopping / cooking, errands, shuttling to activities) is still that of 3 kids.  
• And oh yes, the main thing: there is still a beautiful and darling 10 month old at home full time who keeps me on my toes at all moments that she's awake.

More jokes

But - and I think this is what the question is getting at - for the first time in a very long time, I do have regular stretches of the day where one kid is napping and the other two kids are in school, and I do get to CHOOSE what to do with that time.  Here's what I'm hoping and planning for that time to look like:

• The thing I *really* want to do is start running again and maybe train for a half marathon in the spring.  If I can add in this one thing 3-4 times a week, I will be so happy.  Then, as time allows, I will also try to do some of these other things:
• Take a Coursera course
• Nap
• Enjoy some of the things I already do, but without constant interruption
• Quiet times
• Reading for fun
• Talking to my sister on the phone
• Blog

And the hours where Ivy is awake but it's just her and me will also be different.  There are tons of things that are easier with just one kid in tow: taking the dog for walks, going to coffee shops, running errands.  I'll be able to take her to stuff that the big kids have mostly aged out of - like toddler time at the library, toddler area at the Children's museum - and then not feel guilty as she gets dragged to all the bigs' activities on nights and weekends.

Cant' stop won't stop

It will be interesting to see what Ivy's experience is like as both of her big siblings start school.  Josh's and Zoey's early years were so intertwined, and for them that was great (although certainly there were moments that would have been easier for me with only one, or nice for them to get more of my individual attention).  Ivy loves having her siblings around and she appears to be the most extroverted member of our family, so I think she will miss having them around during the day.  But she is adaptable, she will get plenty of my attention, we will stay involved in our play group, and she will have her siblings around some of the time - so I think it will be good.

Those of you with kid(s) in school and also kid(s) at home - especially those with an age gap of 3 years or more - I would be interested in any advice you have!

P.S.  Since I'm on the topic of this being a transitional time:  will I ever go back to work?  Yes, probably.  I'm not sure exactly when or what that will look like, but I would like to be a practicing lawyer again someday.  But for the next few years, I'm still feeling this way with Ivy.

4th of July and LBJ

Kenny and I visited Austin last week, and as part of our trip, we toured the Lyndon B. Johnson presidential library.  It was inspiring to see LBJ's massive list of legislative accomplishments - the "War on Poverty".  Since this week is a celebration of America, and since many of us are discouraged about what's going on with national politics right now, I wanted to share some of my thoughts that came from walking through this museum.  

LBJ's inaugural speech depicts an America which is already great, and which is greater still when it lifts everyone up:

"In a land of great wealth, families must not live in hopeless poverty. In a land rich in harvest, children just must not go hungry. In a land of healing miracles, neighbors must not suffer and die untended. In a great land of learning and scholars, young people must be taught to read and write."

Based on this vision, one that's rooted in hope rather than fear, LBJ pushed through a staggering list of anti-poverty programs, civil rights laws, and other huge contributions to our society.  I will list just a few highlights - the full list of 100+ laws is here:

• Clean Air Act
• Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act
• Medicaid, Medicare, Food Stamps, HUD
• Free School Breakfast and Lunch, Head Start, federal funding for all levels of education (including college)
• Created PBS, NPR, and NASA
• Public safety acts that made cars and highways safer

So what does this mean for us now?  Our country's current leadership seems locked in extreme partisanship and is led by a man whose domestic agenda is exactly the opposite of all this.  What relevance does a president from 50 years ago have to modern day?

What it means to me is that America's leadership has not always been this way and will not always be this way.  Do you think our great grandparents, pre-FDR, could imagine a country where the federal government helped pay for health care, housing, food, and higher education for those who who could not afford it?  Where we had rigorous (if not perfect) environmental and safety standards, and excellent publicly funded news sources?  Where human beings of every race were guaranteed some basic civil rights?  Just 100 years ago, all of these things were unimaginable, and now we have all of them.  There's great debate about whether these programs should be bigger or smaller; repealed or improved or stay exactly the same.  But the fact remains that we have a public safety net for our most vulnerable citizens and legislation guaranteeing certain human rights, which would have seemed like a pie in the sky dream 100 years ago.  

I do not mean to suggest that we should put any ultimate hope in politics or politicians, as I think this will always disappoint.  I also do not mean to make light of the dramatic impact that a particular law change can have on a particular family, and I intend to keep posting / calling / waving my fist on behalf of these things.  But I do think it's worthwhile to contextualize this particular moment of America's history.  

We've had ups and downs in the 231 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed.  This current administration is the pendulum swinging away from LBJ's vision, but it will eventually swing back.  In the meantime, those of us who agree with robust federal programs to support anti-poverty initiatives, civil rights, education, public safety, and the environment can keep voting, making phone calls, and otherwise making our voices heard.  We still live in a free country where we can make our protests, where transitions of power happen peacefully - there is so much to be thankful for.


I will end with this very famous quote from the Declaration of Independence, which we celebrate today and which is on point with the vision of America that I saw in the LBJ museum.  Happy Independence day, America!