Strong and Courageous - How?

This month, my memory verse group (led by my friend Kim, the inspiration for countless blog posts) has been thinking about the verse Joshua 1:9, which says, "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  I absolutely love this verse, and I thought of it often when Joshua was going through all the surgeries and medical stuff.  And this month, it's been an encouragement in a whole new way.  

Whenever I'm going through a transitional time in my life, like I am right now (see previous two posts), there are always moments of fear and discouragement.  Always.  And I don't think I'm alone in this.  It's hard to move out of your comfort zone; it's hard to be the beginner and have to learn new systems and ask questions and look foolish; it's hard to be on the learning curve.  All of us go through these times in life, whether it's a new job, a new city, or a new life stage.  This verse, and some others that relate, are perfect for these transitional times.  

The verse tells us to be strong and courageous rather than frightened and dismayed, but how are we supposed to get this strength and courage?

• The first answer is right in the verse - "the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  I don't have to look to my own strength to fight fear - I can look to the one who travels with me wherever I go, who faces every discouragement by my side - and who is infinitely more powerful than any of those things.
• Here is a related verse that takes the concept even farther:  "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14)  This verse comes from the story where the Israelites have just escaped Egyptian slavery, and the Egyptians are chasing them down, and they run into a dead end at the Red Sea -- but then God parts the Red Sea, lets the Israelites through, and stops the Egyptians in decisive fashion.  Neither the Israelites nor the Egyptians could've possibly imagined this is how the story was going to go.  It's a good reminder that I don't need to know all the details of how my life story is going to play out, and in fact I'm going to be a lot better off if I trust and be still and enjoy the ride.
•   If I was going to get another tattoo, it would say "Be Still" as a reminder of this verse.  (Either that or matching Celtic tattoos with my sister.)  (But not going to get tattooed.)
• Another verse that acknowledges how heavy the burdens of fear and discouragement can be, and how God takes those things on for us:  "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest."  (Matthew 11:28)  God never promises us an easy life.  He understands that the burdens life throws at us are heavy.  But He does offer rest in the midst of life's challenges.
• Finally, a reminder that this piece of the story we're living in is just a tiny sliver of the bigger story:  "Fear not; I am the first and the last." (Revelation 1:17).  God has been there since the beginning, and He will be there in the end.  He is working all the events of history, including all the pieces of our individual lives, towards a larger redemptive story.  Remembering the bigger story helps us relativize any fear or discouragement we're feeling right now as temporal, momentary, passing. 

These are the thoughts I'm having this month on how to be strong and courageous.  As always, would love to hear any further thoughts! 

Back to Work - How's It Going?

I am about one month into the working life, so I thought I'd write a follow up blog about how things are going.  There are two parts to it - the return to work after such a long break, and the combining homeschool with work - so I'll split it up that way.    

Lawyer hours

What It's Like to Go Back to Work After 13 Years

This has been a mix of all kinds of emotions:

• The first time back to anything significant feels like jumping in the deep end of a freezing cold pool.  The first time back at court.  The first time drafting a pleading.  Etc.  But then you do it, and you survive, and it's exhilarating to be back at it.
• There are moments where it feels frustrating to be this far along in life and this early in the career.  Like, I shouldn't be asking the most beginner of questions in the same year where it might be time to get bifocals.   
• It's satisfying to get back into the legal world - it feels like an important part of my mind is coming back.  I want to be clear here - stay at home parents, and particularly homeschool parents, are using their brains a ton - that could be a whole separate post - but it's not the same type of thinking as legal analysis.  
• It feels good to be contributing financially to the family, even though Kenny's still taking on the bulk of that responsibility.  

The main thing that's been really different this time v. 13 years ago is how much remote work changes the entire nature of the job.  This job used to be much more social.  I chatted with my colleagues in their offices at least a couple times per day; talked to the other lawyers we go up against before and after court; saw the other people who are part of this work at meetings.  Now, pretty much all of it takes place by Zoom, and the in-between social interaction with people has disappeared.  There are definitely some positives to this, but it's striking what a difference it makes.    

What It's Like to Balance Homeschool and Work

Homeschool hours

The first couple weeks were unbelievably exhausting, but as I settle in, the hours are balancing out about like I hoped they would.  Half the day goes to school and half the day goes to law, and I try to keep it pretty separate.  Occasionally I have to take a work call during school hours, or I might work on the homeschool library list while I'm sitting in the Zoom waiting room for court, but in general it's helpful to keep them as two different worlds.  

Both lawyer and homeschool mom are an identity, and those identities are pretty hilariously different.  How you act, what you do, what it's expected the whole rest of your life is like.  I actually love this part of it, as both sides feel like a piece of who I am, and neither feels like the entire thing.  The things that are stressful in each are different, so one provides relief to the other, going both ways.  And the things that are rewarding in each are different, and the contrast helps bring out the positives.  

The thing that feels hardest is that these are both primary gigs.  They are both my priority.  They are both things where I'm continuing to puzzle about how to do it better or how to fix a particular problem or what I have left undone after the actual "work hours" are over.  On a day to day scheduling basis, law wins - you can't skip court because you have a previously scheduled homeschool group - and luckily, homeschool is flexible enough that it mostly works out fine to flex around the more set law schedule.  But looking at how things have worked out over a whole week, or a whole month - if there's not enough time and energy to get them both done well, then it's not going to be okay to keep doing both.  Thankfully, so far so good.

On good days, I feel so blessed to have this life.  I can't believe that it's worked out that I still get to have this very significant chunk of time with my kids, get to educate them the way I want, get to continue on this path that has worked so well for us.  But still somehow also get to resume life as a lawyer in a significant way and work a job that I really enjoy.  On days where one or both pieces are hard, I feel overwhelmed.  But really, this is not so different from all the other working and / or homeschooling parents out there! 

There are lots of other homeschool parents who work, so I'd be interested to hear from any of you how you what you think about the balance.  And friends who have gone back to work after years of staying at home with young kids - I would love to hear your thoughts on that.  

Back to Work!

Some big news around here:  I will be going back to work for the first time in thirteen years!  Back before we had kids, I never thought I would spend any stretch of time beyond maternity leaves out of the work force.  Life threw us some curves that had me home for a couple years with a medically fragile child.  And then, as we had more babies, it continued to make sense and be my desire to stay home full time - and thirteen years rolled by.  Kenny has worked very hard as the sole income earner all this time, and God has faithfully provided for all our needs.  And now that the kids are older and a good opportunity has presented itself, it seems like the right time for me to join back into the workforce.

I will be working part time as a child advocacy attorney, representing kids who are in the foster care system in their court cases.  This is the same job I had right before I stopped working, and I really like it.  It's one of the very few jobs in the legal world for which I've gained some skills during my time at home - I know a lot more about Early Intervention and IEPs, for example, and I know a lot more about how to interact well with children.  

I have a swirl of emotions as I get back to legal work after such a long time away.  I'm excited to get back to work, excited to do a job that's meaningful to me, and excited that it's available in a way that will work for our family (part time and mostly remote).  I'm nervous, but this is helped greatly by going back to a job I've done before.  And I'm grateful that my employer is giving me this opportunity after such a substantial time gap on the resume.   

I'm working part-time because we are continuing to homeschool all three kids.  I've written blogs about why I like homeschooling here and here.  Homeschooling can be done in about 20 hours a week, and those hours can be very flexible - we'll see whether the students and teacher of this household can also adapt and be flexible - this will be an area of growth for us :).  

I'm hoping these two things will combine well.  I appreciate all prayers and well wishes, as this will be a big transition!  And any tips from remote working homeschooling moms would be great :).  

My Favorite Books of 2023

This is my annual book post!  My tradition is to put pictures of the books I read this year (thanks, Goodreads, for compiling the list), and then post my favorites.  Before I get to the favorites, I always put a few thoughts about my reading life over the last year.  This is probably a little like recipe bloggers who tell a whole story when all you really want to see is the recipe - the good news is, like those blogs, you can just scroll on down to the picks if you so desire! 

The big change in my reading life this year is that I finally, finally picked up the habit of audiobooks.  I've heard people singing their praises for years, but I just didn't think that format would work for me.  The tipping point came this year as my friend Autumn had us swing by the Douglas County Library when we were on an adventure, get a library card, and get the Hoopla app  -- and then, because she had gone to the trouble of

getting me up and running, giving it a serious try with at least one book.  Everyone was right:  audiobooks are an excellent way to get in more reading!  Like with podcasts, you can pop in an earbud while you're doing chores, or put it on the radio when you're driving somewhere, and suddenly you're making it through a bunch more 

pages per week.  I read 91 books this last year - 25 of those were audio.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who kept pushing them!

(Relatedly, here's a hot tip for any northern Nevada audiobook listeners - Douglas County Library will let Reno residents sign up a library card for free and that gives you access to Hoopla; Washoe County Library

has Libby.  The two apps compliment each other well. Hoopla's big strength is that it lets you check out books instantly, and keep renewing as long as you need to - but its selection tends to be more back list titles.  Libby has many of the hot new books, but there is usually a wait list and then a two week 

deadline to get through the book before it's returned.  So Libby might have the books that you want more, but Hoopla will have the books that are always available.  If you get both, you will always be well stocked with good books.)

I'm still training my mind not to wander while listening, and I still get interrupted frequently with the kids home all the time, so not all books work perfectly.  The books that work the best for me are non-fiction and memoirs, where you still get the gist of what they are talking about even if you miss a thread here and there; lighter / page turner type fiction; and long books of any kind, where you might be mired down for months if you read the print version but can fly through more quickly by audio.  Do you like audiobooks?  What kind are your favorite?

And now, here are my favorites of the year:

Favorite fiction:

• "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow" by Gabrielle Zevin - excellent portrait of friendships over time, new appreciation for the art of video game design.
• "Birnam Wood" by Eleanor Catton - really enjoyed this eco-thriller set in New Zealand.
  
• "Demon Copperhead" by Barbara Kingsolver - a modern day retelling of David Copperfield, set in modern Appalachia.
• "The Covenant of Water" by Abraham Verghese - Multigenerational family saga set in southern India - Verghese covers the important parts of a life so well.  
• "The Fortnight in September" by R.C. Sherriff - a family in England takes a seaside vacation - this book covers it in fine detail, and from all the characters' perspectives.
• "Shark Heart" by Emily Habeck - this book was part love story, part reflection on grief - really weird, really good.  

Favorite non-fiction:

• "Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World" by David Epstein - compelling case why kids (and adults) should be learning a broad range of skills rather than specializing early.
• "Invisible Child:  Poverty, Hope, and Survival in an American City" by Andrea Elliott - excellent investigative reporting that follows a family living in poverty in NYC over years and shows their experiences with homeless shelter and the different systems.
• "Habits of the Household" by Jusin Whitmel Earley - good ideas for how to incorporate regular spiritual habits into busy family life.
• "A Treatise on Good Works" by Martin Luther - excellent reflection on how faith and good works relate, using the Ten Commandments as a framework.  
• "How to Stay Married: the Most Insane Love Story Ever Told" - this memoir is not going to be for everyone - it's raw and has lots of dark humor, but is also pervasively Christian (i saw reviewers who disliked it from both angles) - but ultimately hopeful, both in terms of faith and the value of fighting through hard times in marriage.  
• "The Six Conversations" by Heather Holleman - a great book about becoming a better conversationalist by being interested and asking good questions.

Favorite Middle Grade:

• "Everything Sad is Untrue" by Daniel Nayeri - a memoir about a child whose life goes from prosperous Iranian to refugee living in America - lots of Arabian folk story woven in, also humor, also some very sad parts - shows the experience well.
• "A Place to Hang the Moon" by Kate Albus - historical fiction book about a group of siblings who were orphaned and grouped with WWII evacuees from London - a good mix of funny, sweet, sad, and ultimately hopeful.
• "Peter Pan" by J.M. Barrie - really fun read aloud for both parents and kids.  
• "The Light Princess" by George MacDonald - funny, well written, beautiful themes.
• The Wingfeather Series - we made our way through #3 and are in the middle of #4 - this is an excellent series for any children or parents who love books like The Chronicles of Narnia. 

Happy reading, all!  I would love to hear your recommendations!  Would especially love to hear books in any genre that were great on audio!