Am I the only one who has a love-hate relationship with Facebook, that these days is trending more towards hate than love? The place where I used to go to feel less isolated from other adults, to get a quick shot of entertainment, to connect with friends - is now causing frequent bouts of agitation and frustration. The cost-benefit analysis is tipping. Part of the agitated, frustrated feelings is all the difficulties of 2020 - but this also begs the question whether Facebook is actually making an already very difficult time more difficult?
I used to love Facebook without qualms, and in fact one of my first posts on this blog was things i love about Facebook. (Facebook is apparently a favorite posting topic - here are 3 more: in defense of political posts on Facebook (which i now somewhat disagree with myself on), thoughts on taking a Facebook break, and the medium (social media) is the message.)
Today's post is inspired by a recent viewing of the Netflix documentary "The Social Dilemma". If you haven't seen it yet, you should check it out. Most of it will not be new information, but to see all the different concerns about social media compiled in one place, and voiced by former top executives at the social media companies, makes you stop and think.
The documentary lists so many issues, but here are the top 3 problems that were most compelling to me:
1. Everyone has their own reality - It used to be that we would all watch the same few news channels and read the same local newspapers. We would all form our own opinions about politics and current events, but we were starting from the same set of facts. Now, with the endless vault of the Internet and the algorithms that tailor which articles and posts we see to our exact preferences, we each start with different sets of "facts" via our Newsfeed. When it feels like we can't even talk to the other side any more, that we're not even arguing about the same issue, that we're too polarized to find any common ground, any compromise - there are reasons for this. The algorithms are instructed to keep us engaged for as long as possible, to keep us clicking and liking and commenting and sharing, and it turns out that extremely partisan content (on both sides) works well for this.
2. Addiction - I would love to keep my time on Facebook limited to 15 minutes every few days, just to see the truly significant events going on with my friends and in my groups. But I don't have that kind of self control. Instead, I'm checking several times a day every day. I've deleted Facebook from my phone and then reinstalled it multiple times. Thank you, Netflix documentary, for showing me that it's not all my fault - teams of very smart people are constantly brainstorming the best ways to keep us "engaged" (addicted) as much as possible. And sometimes the algorithms they build for engagement operate in ways that they can't anticipate, and that aren't good for us (individually or societally).
3. Affect on kids / teens - I won't get into this one, as it's beyond the scope of this blog (worrying about my own brain on social media), but there is lots of reason to be cautious with kids and social media.
So, having said all that, why not just delete the Facebook account? It's not like it's a required part of being a human being to participate in social media. (Although it does feel more and more like that all the time...) It's because I still really value the connection to people. There are many people I wouldn't be in touch with at all if not for social media, and others who I'm able to stay connected with day-to-day in a way that never used to be possible. There are groups that allow me to give and receive invaluable advice and support. And honestly, if you come across a funny meme or take a cute picture, it's fun to share with friends. I'm not ready to give those things up.
I end many blog posts this way, but I especially mean it this time -- what solutions have you found? When you want to limit your social media time and cut down on aggravating content, but not quit completely, what has worked well for you?
