Zoey's personality:
- Zoey is extremely girly - she loves to put on tutus and necklaces, walk around in my ballet flats, call herself a princess, watch dance videos, and frequently express her preference for pink, purple, and sparkles. (She also loves to splash through mud puddles, throw rocks, climb ladders, tackle Josh, read books, and play with cars and trains -- so there are some other interests besides princess stuff.) The girly girl side is funny because she definitely did NOT get that from me (and it was one of the worries I wrote about two years ago), but it's easy enough to provide her with some dress up clothes and books about ballerinas.
- Zoey is very sweet, cuddly, and affectionate - she freely dishes out hugs and "I love you"s; she snuggles up when you read her a story or watch a show with her; she loves to be the "special helper" on chores and errands; and she basks in individual attention. Which is all very endearing.
- We sometimes describe her as our little nerve ending -- she feels things strongly and expresses these feelings equally strongly. So when she's happy, which is most of the time, she'll dance around and give big smiles and make little animal noises. And when she's upset, she can lose it like no other.
- She's very shy but also very verbal - so in some settings, she won't say a word, but in other settings (like at home), she never stops talking. She gets this from me.
- It's like she received a playbook on how to act like a 3 year old: In the last month, her favorite question is "why"and she repeats it ad nauseam.
- She is a good eater, which is something i totally would have taken for granted if she wasn't child #2. She eats heartily all day long (she must get her metabolism from the Fickenscher family), and if I forget to feed her, she is not shy about reminding me. She prefers the typical little kid foods (anything with sugar or carbs), but if I apply any of the hundred feeding techniques we've learned for Joshua, she will easily comply with eating veggies, meat, and at least a few bites of our table food.
I will do a post down the road about what it's like raising a medically typical kid when you have a special needs kid, but the biggest and most important thing (in our situation) is this: Josh and Zoey are great for each other. (This was one of my hopes from an old post.) They are best friends, developmentally helpful to each other, and partners in crime. They help each other with speech because they are talking back and forth all day long. They help each other with fine and gross motor because if one climbs the ladder at the park or starts coloring a picture, the other follows. They love to pretend play together and they each spur on the other's imagination. Josh is the natural leader, but they have a really nice back and forth when they play. Of course they fight sometimes, but even this provides opportunities to learn about how to handle conflict in a safe environment. (And it helps me learn the outer limits of my sanity.) They are both very shy and cautious by nature, but they are able to learn many of the basics of socialization by interacting with each other, and they feel more socially confident around other kids when they have the sibling by their side. You never know how siblings are going to relate to each other, and there's only so much you as a parent can do to make siblings become BFFs, so I'm very grateful that things have turned out this way.
How I'm feeling about my baby becoming a little girl:
There is something about my kids' birthdays that brings out my inner sentimental sap in full force. I'm feeling a mix of happiness and sadness today. Looking at the picture above, there is no denying that Zoey is no longer a baby, not even really a toddler - she's a girl. It's funny because I spent so much of the first few years of my kids' life eagerly anticipating the age when they get at least a little independence - when they don't need me to wake up every few hours to feed them and change diapers and be hovering every single second they're awake. And then, just as I've fully adjusted to the being-needed-every-second thing, they do start to grow up, and it's bittersweet because I know that they've started on this trajectory and they will only get more independent and need me less every year. It's good, it's a blessing...but it's also a little sad. Zoey is still hugely dependent on us, and it makes me so happy every time she learns to do a new skill for herself, but birthdays remind me that these young years are a special stage of life, not to be taken for granted. I cringed as I wrote that last sentence because I hate to hear the impossible advice to "cherish every moment" - as if that were even possible, as if there aren't some moments better forgotten - but these years really are special, and birthdays help me remember it. Happy birthday, Zoey!
