Monday, July 19, 2021

Friendships in the Time of Covid

Another covid post!  It's been a weird 16 months for social interactions:  first we're all told to stay apart or we might all infect each other with a deadly disease; then we all try to learn Zoom and how to make interactions over Zoom feel anything resembling normal or fun; then we creep back into the world of in person interaction before vaccines are available, but this is still either looking like masked / outdoor / social distanced, or an ever present feeling of guilt, fear, and dread if you neglect any of these precautions.  Or, minimal social interactions, because all of these options are so bad or too high risk.  

Now we are finally in the time where every American adult who wants a vaccine can get one, and where the CDC says it's safe to interact like normal once we've been vaccinated (for many of us - understanding that there are some who still need to proceed with caution to protect vulnerable household members) - but it's been 15 months of our brains being rewired to fear and avoid each other, something that's hard to drop instantaneously.   

So, if it's feeling like a weird time, if some friendships have gone on the backburner or gone dormant, if it feels hard to get back to normal, I think it's good to acknowledge that there are real, staggering, unusual reasons why this is so, and that it might take a minute to move past the above set of challenges.  

Cousins together after 18 months apart

But also, I see all around me reminders of how important friendship is and how much it has been missed during this last year and a half.  Is there any better social media post than the friends and family who have been separated for a year or more and can finally get back together in person?  Doesn't it feel so amazing to get together for all the things we missed last year, like holiday bbqs and lake days and birthday parties?  I just saw my own extended family in Oregon, many of whom I hadn't seen since December 2019, and it was all the sweeter knowing that we had missed our family get togethers last summer and last winter.  

So, if it's feeling like an amazing time, if you're finally able to enjoy the belly laughs and long conversations about everything and nothing, then hurray!  Enjoy basking in the joy of friendship.  

Then there are the relationships where friends are on different pages about readiness to get back together, or to attend certain gatherings, or about what precautions are okay to forego.  My opinion is that this is an excellent chance to use the ministry of meeting more than halfway (just learned this phrase from Jen Wilkin yesterday!  Isn't it a good one?).  If a friend will get together but still wants to mask or be outside, and you don't feel like this is necessary, I think it shows respect for the friend's feelings and situation, and for the amount you value them as a friend, to be willing to do the thing that you find uncomfortable or unneccessary.  I would be interested to hear what others think about this situation.

I'll end with this quote that describes my favorite friendships, and I wish you well as you navigate covid and friendships!