Calling Congress: it's not as scary as you think!

Like everyone else, I was so sad to see the news of another mass school shooting yesterday.  And I quickly fell into the trap of cynicism:  there will be uproar for a few days, no real changes will be made, it will happen again.  But you know what?  That's how people always feel until change DOES happen.  This is not the time to throw our hands up in the air, this is the time to speak up!  So I'm writing a blog with some thoughts on calling your Congressperson.

I've talked to a few people who feel passionately about a political issue but are intimidated to call their Congressional representative.  I interned at a U.S. Senator's office for one summer, and while I was the low low low person on the totem pole, it did help me see some things about how this all works.

There are several ways to contact your Congressperson -- email, letter, and phone.  (Also visiting, if you happen to live close to one of their district offices.)  All of these are easy to find through Google.
The phone call is the best combination of effectiveness and efficiency for making your voice heard.  We are a culture that's shying away from phone calls and I get this - I rarely make phone calls when you can instead communicate by text or email.  But Congresspersons take phone calls from constituents more seriously than an email petition that people signed with one click.  (Not that this is a bad thing to do -- all the communications help.)  Phone calls on issues are tallied, and the tally is given to the Senator.  With emails, it is a lot more variable. 

Here is what usually happens when you call a Congressional office:  the person answering takes your name and address.  This tells them if you are a constituent and sometimes facilitates a response letter.  Then they will ask why you are calling, you tell them, and they thank you for your call.  The whole thing takes less than a minute, unless you choose to try to keep them on the phone longer. 

Here are some things that will not happen:

• They will not be rude to you - even if they vehemently disagree with you, they know that their job depends on pleasing constituents.  They may not be able to vote the way you're hoping, but they will be nice about it.  
• They will not try to engage you in a policy debate - they have access to the leading policy experts on both sides of the issue, so they don't need to engage constituents on policy matters, either for sport or for information.  They do need to know which way public opinion is leaning.  
• They will not keep you on the phone for an extensive amount of time - they will respect your time, and they need to get the phone lines open for the next caller.
• The Congressperson won't answer - it will be a staffer or intern on the line.

It is perfectly fine if you write down exactly what you want to say on a piece of paper and read it verbatim.  If you have a personal story related to the issue and can succinctly communicate it, that is helpful.  You can call with a very specific request ("I want the Senator to vote against LB???") or a very general request ("I would like the Senator to take action to oppose gun violence".)  

I hope this blog doesn't come off as patronizing, but I really want everyone to feel empowered that you CAN call your Congressperson and they DO want to hear from you (because being in touch with constituent opinion helps them keep their job!).  Now I'm going to make a few phone calls :).  

Life with 3: Actually, it totally does live up to the hype

Last year, i wrote about how adding a third child was no big deal , when we were a breezy one month into the experience.  Now that we are 15 months in, I'd like to amend my opinion. 

Here are some things I didn't take into consideration when writing that first blog:

Easy newborn

1.  Ivy was a SUPER easy baby.  Especially as a newborn.  She slept all the time (probably 20 hours a day).  She fed easily, she let me set her down, she hardly cried, she would fall asleep anywhere - it was pretty unbelievable, honestly.  Now that she's older, she still has a super sweet personality, but she's a very typical toddler - very active and independent, and needing more in terms of interactive play and snack preparation and supervision.  She's a full time project, which hugely changes the dynamic of how easy or hard it is to balance everything else.  Which leads into item 2...

2.  Attention for each individual child is spread super thin.  Even when Kenny's home, there are times when it's very challenging that the kids outnumber the adults.  You get these moments where Josh needs intensive help with his homework, Zoey wants to read a book, and Ivy's climbing the bookshelf.  Or Josh needs

Active toddler

supervision in the bath, Zoey wants to play a board game, and Ivy wanders into the kitchen to eat some dog food.  It's a precarious and crazy making project to meet all the physical and emotional needs.  Hats off to all of you who somehow do this with MORE than three.

3.  It makes life more fun and interesting to have kids in a range of stages, but more challenging too.

For example, it's fun to play increasingly complicated games and read increasingly sophisticated stories to the big kids, but it's hard to do this well when you have to pause every 30 seconds to check on the one year old.  And it's restful to cuddle the one year old to bed, except when the two bigs are simultaneously having an unsupervised wrestling match downstairs.  There's just not a lot of down time in this stage of life (except for breaks graciously provided by my husband and in-laws).

This blog probably sounds like such a debbie downer, but I don't mean it that way.  It's more of an attempt to be honest about the challenges of of raising three kids.   (I'm sure there were some of you who read that first blog about how adding a third child is easy peasy and thought "just wait" - and I'm telling you that you were right.)  While it's challenging, it is absolutely worth it - I can't imagine life without any of the three in it, they all add something special to our family.  There might be forthcoming blogs about that.  In the meantime:  any advice from veteran parents about how to parent older kids well and still keep the one year old alive?