We are on the brink of some big transitions in our family! Ivy will start kindergarten in the fall, marking the first time in almost 12 years that I haven't had at least one kid full time at home with me. (Josh will also be starting middle school!!) This means I will have some hours open up during the day, and we will have some decisions to make about what's the best way to fill them. Even though this won't happen for several months, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. This post isn't going to make any big announcements, but is more of a "some things I've noticed while I'm processing the upcoming transition". I'm hoping this might be relatable to anyone who is making a life decision (going back to work, changing jobs, retiring; relationships, having kids; significant changes to time or budget; really any big change). Three things I've noticed:
1. Transition times make you think about your big life values. Life is busy. Most days, we're just trying to stay afloat with "what's on today's schedule / to do list / dinner menu"? Making it through each day feels like it takes everything we got, and there's no time or energy leftover to map out a 5, 10, and 20 year plan. But when you're at a crossroads and need to make some life choices, you find the time to evaluate the big things. What's important to me in my relationships with my kids, my closest family and friends, my people? What is my north star, the thing(s) that matter most to me in who I am and what I want to be and do with this life? What are my financial needs and goals? And how does all this square with the decision in front of me? (For me, the biggest life goals are to love God and love others - there are a variety of ways that this could play out, but this is my north star.)
As someone who regularly overthinks things (see #3), it might seem like I'm thinking about these things all the time, but my natural tendency is actually much more to take the situation that I'm in and try to make the best of it. I'm not great at envisioning the future, goal setting years in advance, or making big and scary changes. But man, what an important skill to get better at, and these transition times are natural opportunities to work on this skill set.
2. The input coming in hits disproportionately strongly during transitions, so it's a time to be extra careful about what you put in your head. When I'm thinking about how to structure the next phase of my life, it can be easy to start listening closely to everything that passes into my ears or before my eyes and take it as a sign, to take everything to heart. Like, "Ooh, here's a catchy quote on Facebook, let's take this as direction and proceed accordingly." When I'm in a decision making phase, I try to heed this advice: "It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brain falls out." Knowing that I'm extra susceptible to ideas right now, and probably for the next several months, I'm mindful to keep an eye on whose advice I'm taking in. Is this a trusted source? Do their values align with mine? And even if so, do their input square with my big picture goals that I just worked out in Question #1? The best advice I've been getting from (multiple!) trusted sources is this: "It doesn't matter as much what you do, but who (and whose) you are."
3. Don't overthink it! I'm literally writing a blog post about my "process", so as you can see, there is a built in propensity for overthinking up in this brain. What I mean by "don't overthink it" is: do the steps above - think about your values, seek input and choose good influences to help you in that process. Pray about it. BUT. There is definitely a point where you can stew too much. While planning and preparation and prayer are not a waste of time, worrying that extends beyond these things is absolutely a waste of time. At some point, you do just need to make choices and then move forward. Big structural decisions should be made carefully, but they don't have to be final - if something isn't working, that's a signal to figure out a way to make a change. And the biggest thing, with regards to overthinking (and taken straight from my church's James study, the end of chapter 4): we don't know the future, and we don't control the future. I never expected to be a stay at home mom, none of my educational preparations went that way, but life circumstances led a different direction. I do need to make plans and preparations, but they need to be held humbly and loosely, knowing that God might have a different path in store for me.
So these are my thoughts as I approach a transition. I know several who read this blog have been through transition times, and I would welcome your words of wisdom in this process!
P.S. Even though this post is purposely written in general terms, it should not go without saying that it's a privilege to be able to think about whether and what kind when it comes to jobs, and I'm grateful for this.
