Two Book Recommendations

I haven't been doing as much reading as usual this summer, but I've worked my way through a few books, and these picks were two of my faves.  They were both long (700+ pages in the case of the second one), but very readable.  Without further ado, here they are:

The Interestings is a fiction book about six friends who meet at an artsy summer camp and ironically name themselves "The Interestings".  The book follows these friends through four decades of life.  Some of them successfully pursue an artistic career, while others pursue practical jobs; some strike it rich, others struggle to pay the bills; some stay friends, others drift apart from the group.  The book deals with class issues, envy, and how friendships can be tricky when friends are differently situated as far as money and power.  This book will not change your life, but it's a fun and smart commentary on modern American culture.
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Far From the Tree is a non-fiction book that explores families with children that are "exceptional" (meaning, in this book, different from their parent and from mainstream society in a really significant way).  It describes how parents deal with having an exceptional child and how children handle being exceptional.  It also explores and challenges perceptions of identity and illness (and whether something can be both).

Solomon writes chapters on these 10 categories:  deaf, dwarfism, Down's Syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, multiple severe disabilities, prodigies, children who commit crime, children conceived in rape, and transgender.  In each chapter, he gives a brief description of the identity or illness, then interviews families who fit in this category.  It is fascinating to see how much overlap there is in the experience of the parents across the categories, since the identities / disabilities themselves are pretty different from each other.  In most cases, the parents feel like they've gotten stronger and become a better person for having parented a special needs child, they love their child fiercely, but they are exhausted from the constant effort to meet the special needs of their child in a world that's designed for mainstream kids.

I think this book would be most interesting to 1.  People with an Input strength  - if
you like to learn information just because it's interesting, then this book is totally for you; and 2.  people with a special needs child, because you will identify with many of the experiences and feelings described.  I fit in both of these categories, so I loved reading about the stuff I know absolutely nothing about (such as limb lengthening surgery for dwarfs and the debate over whether cochlear inplants are causing a cultural genocide), and the stuff I know quite a bit about (such as feeding tubes and Early Intervention).

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I'm always looking for more book recommendations, so let me know what you've enjoyed reading recently.  

The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same

This weekend, we visited my grandparents' house.  They live out in the country in central Nebraska, on an acre of land sandwiched between corn fields and farms.  My grandparents have lived in the same house, which my grandfather built, for 35 years.  They are practical and frugal, and they emphasize simple living and time in nature.  I love to spend time at their house - it's very peaceful and relaxing.  

That's a little background to help you understand why I find it so funny when their lifestyle, which has been the same for decades, coincides with modern trends.  My favorite example is trucker hats.  My grandpa has a better collection of these bad boys than Ashton Kutcher.  Grandpa wears them because they provide sun shade and good ventilation.  When I was a teenager, I borrowed some of his hats so that I could look as awesome as my favorite celebrities.    

Here are four ways my grandparents are inadvertently trendsetting now:

1.  Food - My grandparents grow most of their produce in their enormous garden.  This means that much of the food we eat at their house is fresh, locally grown, sustainable, organic, and seasonal.  My grandma makes all breads, pasta, and dessert from scratch.  We often have homemade ice cream and homemade donuts.  Nothing comes from a box; nothing contains preservatives; everything is a real food.  She should open a restaurant and charge $50 a plate for her wholesome, farm to fork meals.  (It should be acknowledged that the side salad sometimes consists mostly of macaroni and mayo, but this article says that's consistent with the real foods movement.)

2.  Eco friendly - My grandparents don't get a regular trash pick-up out in the country, so they find a way to reuse, recycle, or compost much of their trash.  Whatever's left over gets burned right on their property rather than a trash truck driving out to pick it up.  My Grandma is a MASTER at saving and re-using things.  Their carbon footprint is tiny.

3.  Melissa and Doug - G & G have a box of toys saved from when my mom was a kid.  These toys are the same type of thing you would now pay top dollar for at urban boutiques for children: handmade wooden blocks that have letters and numbers painted on the side; toys that encourage pretend play (in this case, old kitchen utensils, old jewelry for dress up, etc.); puzzles that teach fine motor skills; and handcrafted wooden toy trains.  

4.  Unplugged - It seems to be trendy to find a place to escape from the constant intrusion of electronic distractions.  My grandparents have no Internet access and very limited TV access, which is generally only turned on for local news, weather emergencies, and Husker football games.  For entertainment, we walk along the gravel road, listen to birds sing, stop and smell the flowers (literally), and after dark, watch fireflies.  Again, they should charge money for people to access this unbelievably simple, relaxing, present-in-the-moment lifestyle.

I have to admit that I'm a little bit relieved to be back to Facebook and Golden Grahams after our stay in Gothenburg, but I do love my time with my grandparents, and I love how they march to the beat of their own drum.  (And sometimes it's such a great drum that society follows along, at least for a little while.)

Special Needs related Urgent Care Rant

This afternoon, I took Joshua in to an Urgent Care clinic because he's been sick for a couple days and I wanted to get him checked out before the weekend to make sure he didn't need to get on antibiotics.  The doctor thinks it's just a virus that should get better in a day or two, so that was good news.  Also, the Urgent Care in Lincoln is amazingly clean and efficient.  We were in and out in less than an hour.  I attribute this to the overall awesomeness of Lincoln, where even Apria rocks.

Here's where the rant comes in:  First, bedside manner.  When we were going through the general list of Joshua's symptoms, you could tell that the doctor was kind of on autopilot.  That's fine - it's Friday afternoon and she's probably ready to get home to her family and/or knock back an Appletini when five o'clock rolls around.  She's probably dealt with thousands of toddler viruses and ear infections and can diagnose and treat these in her sleep. The irritating thing was that when I told her that Joshua has a feeding tube, her whole demeanor changed.  She did a double take, then asked "why" in a very alarmed voice.  It was like we had entered the world of Grey's Anatomy, where the presence of a feeding tube signals a dire medical emergency.  In reality, Joshua is a very healthy little guy who is not in a dire medical situation *at all*, and I could tell she thought so too because I was getting the overprotective-mother-who-jumped-the-gun-taking-her-son-to-the-doctor vibe until I mentioned the feeding tube, and then suddenly I was getting the why-isn't-this-kid-in-the-hospital vibe.  I understand that the presence of a feeding tube might signal the need for some further conversation about why it's there and how it might relate to his current sickness; I just wish that the initial disclosure of it would've been treated with calm rather than alarm.

Second part of rant: general knowledge.  When the doctor asked why Joshua has a feeding tube, I told her it's because he has Pierre Robin Sequence.  She says she's never heard of it and asks me to explain what it is.  [Note:  this happens all.the.time.  It wasn't just this doctor.]  It's so irritating to go in to the doctor and then it ends up that you are the one doing all the medical explaining.  I know this is an unfair thing to be irritated about.  When I was practicing law, people would ask all kinds of random stuff all the time (for example, "What are the drug laws in the city of Denver?"), and I rarely knew the answer unless it was specifically in my area of practice.  Law school trains you how to issue spot, research, and apply laws, not how to memorize every conceivable law in existence.  I assume that med school works the same way, so I'm not saying that this doctor was doing anything wrong.  BUT, in my dream universe, it would be nice if the urgent care doctor knew more than I did about what was going on with my son's medical condition, or at least had heard of it.  

Rant over.  I hope you have a great weekend!

On perspective in politics

[Note to readers:  For the next few weeks, until Kenny returns from France, I'm probably going to be posting somewhat sporadically and sometimes only a few sentences at a time.  But I'm enjoying blogging, so I'm going to do my best to stay in the habit as much as I can.]

I really enjoyed this article about Abraham Lincoln in the Atlantic.  It talks about how President Lincoln was widely criticized by his contemporaries for the following things: his general character and intelligence, his strategic handling of the Civil War, and his rhetorical abilities (specifically in the Gettysburg Address).  This now seems crazy, as President Lincoln is considered by many to be our best President, with particular strengths in the areas listed above.

The article is a good reminder that history will judge the current president very differently than we do (for better or for worse), and that it's easy to let emotions overcome rationality when you're right in the middle of a situation.  It brings some much needed perspective in this world where talking heads are broadcast on cable news networks 24 hours a day and where Facebook memes can make you feel like our country is about to implode from ineptitude.  I know people who felt like it was a tragedy that George W. Bush was elected and then re-elected; ditto with Barack Obama.  Certainly it's important who becomes president, but there's a reason why people rarely follow through on their threats to move to Canada if so-and-so gets elected.  Because ultimately we still live in a pretty great country, and it is unlikely that the president is going to ruin everything.

Thoughts?  I seem to have lots of politically passionate Facebook friends, so I welcome dissenting opinions here....

Road Trip, Part Two: the Keepin' it Real Edition

This week, we drove from Reno to Lincoln, Nebraska, where we will be spending the next 5 weeks (with Kenny spending the middle 3 in France).  Once again, our road trip went well overall.  Here are the observations from driving, round two:

When I was your age...:  Somewhere in the middle of Wyoming, Joshua started teaching Zoey to make fart noises with her mouth.  And then when she successfully did it, he got mad.  This is just the beginning of payback for all the trouble my siblings and I caused our parents on family car trips.  For example, I used to tattle on my siblings because they were looking at me.  I'm sure this complaint will be coming my way once the kids are able to articulate it.  

Hotels:  If you ever wonder whether a hotel is worth the extra money, the answer is probably yes.

Tube Feeding v. Nursing:  It used to be the case that nursing was easier than tube feeding in every way.  Now, it's more of a mixed bag.  Tube feeding takes more planning on the front end - bringing the right food and equipment, keeping it cool, measuring it out, etc.  Nursing takes zero planning.  But tube feeding can be administered while the car is moving, which is a big plus, and the administration of tube feeding doesn't involve finding a private place and dealing with a squirming child who would rather be crawling -- so for this last leg of the trip, tube feeding wins out over nursing for easiness.  

Rest stops:  Next time I see a toddler pushing chairs all around the corner of a fast food restaurant or an infant eating cut up french fries, I will give that family some grace and think about how that was my family while we were on the road.   

My best travel tip for traveling with kids is variety.  We brought several grocery bags of toys, books, and food, and just kept rotating things.  When they got bored with playing or eating, we would turn on music or sing songs.  When that got old, we would make a stop and let them run around, then restart the whole process.  Fortunately, Joshua is really great at keeping himself entertained.  At one point, he started tickling his own feet, which was funny for us as well as him.    

Long distance driving is like running a marathon:  you can't think about the whole thing all at once or it gets too overwhelming.  You try to just stay in the present, enjoy the scenery, and respond to the needs of the moment rather than worrying about every single thing that could come up along the way.  And you break the trip into segments, thinking about the next stop rather than how many miles / minutes until the whole thing is over.  It's good for me to be forced to think this way, since I tend to be a worrier.  Maybe I'll start training for a marathon when our travels are over.

We will be doing one more leg of travel in August.  Any good tips for the last section of driving?