Spouse Love

May is my wedding anniversary month, so I've been reflecting on some of the things that make a marriage work well.  When you watch a romantic comedy, you get the impression that the necessary and sufficient things you need to make a relationship work are two attractive people, witty banter, and the unshakeable conviction that this person is your soulmate.  I think there are many qualities that we fail to appreciate and compliment because 1) they are less exciting than the aforementioned qualities, 2) you expect these things from your partner, but at the same time, 3) it is impossible for any human being to embody them perfectly.  So in these categories, it's easy to take the good things they're doing for granted.  (This is probably true in all types of close relationships, but I think it's especially true in marriage.)  Kenny is doing things every day to make our marriage and our family work well, and I am terrible about thanking him for it.  So as Kenny and I approach our 9 year wedding anniversary (and 10 years of being a couple!), I want to write a blog post and, as Fatboy Slim puts it, "I want to praise you like i should".  Here are some of Kenny's exceptional qualities:

Good father, especially good special needs father.  Kenny is very actively involved with both of our kids.  He notices the things that make each of them happy, he acts as their jungle gym, he makes them laugh - he brings so much joy and love to their lives, and he lightens the load for me.  This is an extra big blessing when it comes to special needs parenting.  As you get involved in special needs communities, you learn that many dads cannot handle the extra stresses that come with the special needs life and either physically leave the family or emotionally check out.  Kenny has always been a full partner to me in Joshua's needs.  At the beginning, this meant researching the best surgery options, staying up all night to give G-tube feeds, and spending nights in the hospital.  Now, it means staying on top of what's going on with doctors and IEPs and therapy goals, and helping out on those things however he can.  This is hugely helpful to Joshua, but it's also very helpful to me to know that I'm not alone going through scary and difficult parenting experiences.  I'm using self control to keep this section brief, but here's a great blog post that describes the importance of an involved special needs dad (although our details are different):  The Dad Behind the Diagnosis

Good Provider.  I'm so grateful that Kenny shoulders the burden of being the primary income earner in our family.  It has given me the freedom to pursue non-profit jobs in my legal career and to stay home with the kids for awhile.  I'm also grateful that he's taken the lead in our financial planning.  It's really helpful in a marriage if there is one person who keeps track:  making sure the bills get paid, being thoughtful about other priorities (such as saving and giving), and planning for the family's financial future.  We do divide up the tasks and discuss big financial decisions - but it's so helpful to have Kenny keep a continual watch and make plans for the future.  [Caveat:  of course it doesn't have to be the man taking on either the planning or earning - none of these bullet points is meant to be a "this-is-exactly-how-it-should-work-for-everyone-amen" statement, but rather a "this-is-how-it-works-for-us-and-thank-you-kenny-for-handling-it-like-a-boss".]

Reliable.  In every way - I never need to worry that he won't show up, won't call if plans change, won't be truthful to me.  This is HUGELY helpful and HUGELY important to me, and Kenny is excellent about being a faithful and reliable partner.

Spiritual leader.  Kind of like the finances, this is partly about keeping track of things:  what we value as a family, and how our life (both day-to-day and long term) is working towards or against those values.  Kenny does a great job of keeping these things in mind.  Kenny has also put many things in place to encourage growth in his personal faith, which in turn encourages my faith.

Always working on self improvement.  I won't say much about this, except that it's great because it means I don't have to nag.

Gets stuff done.  Kenny is great at handling daunting projects.  A good example of this:  when we arrived home from our 2 month road trip last summer, we were all exhausted from 6 days on the road and ready to just relax in our own space.  We walked in the front door to find that one of our pipes had sprung a leak weeks before and caused significant water damage all over the first floor.  So while I was in "woe is me" mode, Kenny immediately got to work - he spent the next 10 hours cleaning what could be cleaned (working until 3 am!) and contacting professionals to fix the rest of it.  I am so grateful that he immediately digs in and starts solving problems rather than moping around.

BONUS:
Handsome, funny, and smart - I was originally going to do a post saying that these characteristics ("handsome, funny, smart") are the kinds of things that initially draw you to a person but ultimately don't matter as much as the above qualities.  But that's not true.  I enjoy it every day that Kenny is so good looking, and so entertaining to be around, and I love (but also hate) that he's smarter than me.  There is a lot more to a great spouse than just handsome, funny, and smart -- but the qualities that initially attract you to your spouse, remain awesome a decade later.

For any of you who have made it through this whole post, thank you for indulging me and I would love to hear your spouse shout outs!

In Transition

We made it to Reno!  It's been fun to reunite with family members and start to meet up with friends.  Kenny's family has been so generous about lending us cars, cooking us meals, offering babysitting, and generally letting us invade their personal space.  We are in a state of transition right now, as we look for a house and settle in to our new city.  Here are some thoughts on that:

• Vacation?  In some ways, it feels like we are on our annual month-long summer visit.  We are staying with relatives, visiting favorite spots, and enjoying all the things we miss while we're away.  But at the same time, Kenny has started his new job, Joshua is attending appointments, and we are actively house hunting -- not activities we do while on vacation.
• Resetting defaults - It takes a surprising amount of energy to change the default settings in your brain.  (Like, where is Target again?  When is library story time?  Where are the best parks?).  None of it is brain science, but it takes some mental energy to make the shift.   
• Adapting to cultural differences - I don't want to overstate this one too much, but Reno and Virginia Beach are *really* different places (at least, within the range of mid-sized cities in the United States).  Reno has a west coast / mountain / independent vibe, as opposed to Virginia Beach's east coast / ocean / military vibe.  It's fun to compare one to the other while we are still recent transplants and can remember exactly what Virginia Beach is like.  
• I'm trying to take note of the subtle cultural rules in Reno - things like, "Do moms wear jeans or yoga pants when they go to the park?" - because I learned what a difference these things can make when my family moved from Norfolk to Lincoln when I was in 9th grade.  I showed up to the first day of school proudly wearing my tucked in T-shirt, only to quickly learn that in Lincoln, you don't tuck in your t-shirt unless you want to look like a dork.  (It probably didn't help that I was proudly sporting a Norfolk Panthers shirt at a Lincoln Southeast feeder school.)  
• Kids - The kids are doing well with with the transition.  They are happy to see their grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins.  They are starting to ask questions about what's going on (mostly phrased like this:  "Where are my toys from home?"), but overall they are enjoying Reno and basking in all the extra love and attention.  Josh is happy to have a long summer break from school (although he did say that he missed school one day when we were looking at some pictures), and his new occupational therapist seems to be a good fit.  
• House hunting - We bought our last house less than a year ago, so most of my thoughts about house hunting are summarized here, but I will add that it's nice to look in Reno because I prefer the western style of architecture and the housing stock is mostly newer construction.  Also, our realtors here are awesome - if any of you in Reno are looking to buy or sell a house, I would highly recommend Michael and Belinda Jackson.  
• Without permanent residence - You don't realize how often you rely on having a permanent address until you are temporarily without one.  We are fortunate to be able to use our in-law's address until we buy a new house.  But not having a permanent residence makes it more difficult to register to vote, to keep up with bills, to fill out all variety of forms, and to register kids for school.  I'm sure that for many of these (particularly voting and school), there are provisions set up for families without a permanent residence, but it's interesting to think about the public policy implications related to what an obstacle it can be to not have an address to give.  
• A couple climate related trade-offs -
• Ocean v. mountains - I love the beach and I am very sad to leave it, but unless you are lucky enough to live right along the coast, you don't see much of the ocean during the cold months.  When you live in the mountains, you can enjoy them everytime you go outside.  It's super fun when you get the chance to go hiking or camping or (for those who know how, which is not me) skiing, but you also get to enjoy the beautiful view of the mountains everytime you step outdoors or drive around town.  Sunsets here are stunning, and you can enjoy them from the comfort of your backyard rather than making a trip to a particular place.  So while both are awesome, I think you get more year round benefit from living near the mountains.  
• Bugs v. mountain animals - It is so nice to sit outside for hours and not worry about mosquitos.  The Reno trade off is that in certain neighborhoods, after dark, you have to watch for mountain animals such as coyotes and bears.  It's easier to avoid bears than to avoid mosquitoes, so this is also a decent trade-off.  
• Virginia Beach friends - Since we moved from Reno and have now returned to Reno - our four years in Virginia Beach feels like a distinct chapter in our life, with a clear beginning and end.  Virginia Beach friends, I'm so glad I got to know you - my life is richer because you were a part of it.  And I'm so glad that Facebook allows us to keep in touch.  

Signing off, for now, from Reno!

Week 8: Behavioral Genetics and Public Policy

This was the final week of my behavioral genetics course, which was a summing up of the major themes we had learned, and a few examples of how behavioral genetics will intersect with public policy.  Here are the notes:

4 Laws of Behavioral Genetics:

1. All human behavioral traits are heritable.

• For many behavioral traits the strength of heritable influence increases with age.
• Impoverished environments can limit genetic influences on desirable traits, and protective environments can minimize genetic influences on undesirable traits.

2. The shared family environment has minimal impact on individual differences in behavior.

• It doesn't mean that family has no effect on a reared child, but that the family environment affects each child differently.  

3. The non-shared environment exerts a major influence on individual differences in behavior.

• What are the specific effects that matter?
• The "gloomy prospect" - ie, what makes me neurotic is different from what makes you neurotic.  

4. Human behavioral traits are polygenic.

• Effects of any one gene on personality, general cognitive ability, or most complex medical issues are small.  Likely, thousands of genes are contributing.

Genomic Medicine:  What will it take to use genes in medical treatment?
1.  Disease risk can be accurately forecast genetically, preferably prior to disease onset Genetic Prediction

• As it becomes cheaper, more and more people will have their genome sequenced, and we will learn more and more about the genetics of disease.

2.  Prevention/intervention efficacy will differ depending on each individual’s genotype Individualized Medicine (GxE)

• Pharmacogenomics - learning how your individual genes affect the efficacy and toxicity of a particular drug on you.  

3. Individuals will want to know their risk status and once known be willing to take preventive action Genetic Counseling/Behavioral Medicine

• What are the psychological consequences of a positive test result (especially for diseases where there is currently no treatment)?  
• Many individuals who are known to be at risk choose not to get tested.  

Genomics and the Law

• We tend to attribute less personal responsibility when phenotypes are highly heritable, and more personal responsibility when behaviors are not as attributable to genetics.
• Emphasis on choice - defendants don't choose to have genes with a greater vulnerability to aggressive or impulsive behavior, the same way that defendants don't choose to be abused as children.  

Week 7: Genes, Environment, and Development

This is the 7th week of my Behavioral Genetics class, and we are also right in the middle of moving, so this week's notes are even rougher than usual.  Here are things I hope to remember about genes and development:  

Evidence for existence of shared and nonshared effects

 • Schizophrenia – Predominant source of environmental influence appears to be non-shared

 • General Cognitive Ability – Predominant source of environmental influence appears to be shared 

• In general – Predominant source of environmental influence appears to be non-shared 

There are, however, some behavioral traits that show a shared environmental effect (this might be because these are the domains that parents focus on when they rear):

• General cognitive ability 

• Antisocial and rule-breaking behavior 

• Social attitudes including religiousness

Liberal v. conservative:  no heritable effect, all environment - until age 20, then there is suddenly heritability in political leanings.  

(For those traits that show shared environmental influence (e.g., GCA, social attitudes, and rulebreaking) the strength of that influence declines markedly once relatives move apart.)

For general cognitive ability, genetic influence increases with age.  (This is interesting because you would expect it to be the opposite - that environmental influence would increase with age as more life experiences pile up.)  Why is this?  as children grow up, they increasingly select, modify and even create their own experiences in part based on their genetic propensities.

Gene Environment Correlation:  Statistical correlation between the magnitude of genetic effect and the magnitude of environmental effect

3 types of Gene Environment Correlation:

1.  Passive - Parents who transmit genes that promote the development of a specific trait are likely to also create a rearing environment that fosters the development of that trait  (eg high ability)

2.  Reactive - Our experiences are in part a function of the reactions our behaviors elicit from others and to the extent our behavior is genetically influenced, this induces a G-E correlation  (eg, fussy baby elicits a different reaction than a happy baby)

3.  Active - Our experiences are in part a function of the choices we make based upon our abilities and interests. And to the extent our abilities and interests are genetically influenced, this will induce a G-E correlation  (for example, choosing to go to the library and study v. going to the bar to drink)

Parent behavior is related to offspring functioning.  Is this environmentally causal or genetic?

Example:  overprotective parents have anxious kids.  (It's possible that parents are overprotective because they are anxious, and their anxiety was genetically passed down to kids - so not environmentally caused.)  (Also possible that it's reactive - anxiety in the child elicits overprotectiveness in the child.)

Robust association between mother smoking during pregnancy and ADHD.  Is this causal?

- Mothers who smoke may have other things in common with each other, and that other thing is common is actually the thing that increases the risk of ADHD.  

- Effective way to test this is sibship design...in this example, mom smokes during first pregnancy but not second.  You find enough of this circumstance and run the numbers.  

Unit 6: Intelligence

This week's class focused on the genetics of intelligence.  This unit was very interesting to me because Joshua's deletion (and most chromosomal deletions where the child is missing millions of bases) can potentially have some effect on cognitive ability.  It was encouraging to learn that intelligence is one of the main areas where environment, and not just genes, can play a big role.  Here are the notes from this week's class:

Definition of Intelligence -

• to understand and use complex ideas
• to adapt effectively to the environment
• to learn from experience
• to engage in abstract reasoning

Is intelligence one thing or many things (and what should be emphasized)?

• Verbal ability
• Numerical ability
• Spacial ability
• Mechanical ability

How does your performance in one area predict your peformance on other types of abilities?

• Could be positively associated, negatively associated, or unrelated.
• Performance on multiple ability tests are always positively correlated, so it implies something common across the 4 tests - your General Cognitive Ability.  
• "General Cognitive Ability" - general intelligence - your performance across the 4
• The absence of perfect correlation does show that they are distinct abilities.

IQ Test

• IQ test samples your skills in multiple intellectual domains and summarizes it in a  number.  
• IQ is a measure of general cognitive ability.  
• Average IQ is 100.  2/3rds of population fall between 85-115.  2.5% below 70, 2.3% above 130.  

What do twin & adoption studies show about the contribution of genetics and environment to intelligence?

• Genetics:  50% heritable
• Shared environment:  35%
• Non-shared environment:  15%
• So, both genetics and environment play an important part in intelligence.  

Gene Environment Interplay

• Average IQs in population have increased 3-5 points per decade in the last several decades.
• Better public health, better public schools
• Adoption studies show that children who were adopted (v. siblings who were not) tend to score much higher in both IQ and school achievement.
• Adoption in general (not just compared to biological siblings) is correlated with higher IQ and higher school achievement, because in general it means a shift to a more advantaged home.
• This is true in working, middle, and professional class homes - but greater benefits as the socioeconomic class goes up.  
• Heritability of GCA is diminished in poor and working class homes.
• This is because in wealthier homes, kids get opportunities which allow them to fully realize their genetic potential; in less wealthy homes, kids don't get these same opportunities and therefore do not always realize their full genetic potential.

Genetic Factors

• Total brain volume is highly heritable.
• Total brain volume is associated with GCA, but probably not the best way to measure GCA.
• Common genetic factors contribute to brain volume and GCA.
• Researchers have not had much success yet in identifying which genes are most highly associated with GCA.  
• Using a genome wide study, they found places on Chromosome 1, 2, and 6, that were correlated with how far students went in school - but extremely small effects.  (consistent with schizophrenia, height, etc.)

Genetics of Intellectual Disability

• What is intellectual disability?
• IQ less than 70. AND
• Deficit in intellectual functioning results in impairments in adaptive functioning AND
• Onset in child
• Implications of the non-normal distribution of IQ
• More individuals with intellectual disability than we would expect with normal distribution.
• 90% of individuals with intellectual disability have mild disability - can live independently but require some assistance; 
• There's 6x greater population of moderate intellectual disability than we would expect, and 6,000x greater population of profound intellectual disability than we would expect.
• Two groups
• Single major trauma - can be genetic, perinatal trauma, etc. (5-10% of all individuals with intellectual disability)
• Due to cumulative impact of many small factors (90-95%, usually the more mild disability, this is who would be expected on the bell curve)
• Males are at higher risk for intellectual disability than females
• 40-50% more likely
• X-linked intellectual disability is a major factor
• Males only have one X chromosome so only require one hit; since females have two X chromosomes, would need two mutations to be affected.  
• Secondly, males are biologically more vulnerable than females - eg, higher mortality rate at all ages, more vulnerable to consequences of low birth weight and birth trauma, higher risk for most neurodevelopmental disorders.  
• Study found that females with intellectual disability have a higher load of genetic risk factors than males affected with intellectual disability.