House Hunters, Reno Edition

 We bought a house in Reno!  I wrote a blog post describing our housing search in Virginia Beach last year, so I won't repeat those observations.  Instead, I'm going to describe our most recent search House Hunters style, describing the 3 (types of) houses we looked at and then explaining which one we picked and why.

House One:  "Planned Community" - The pros to these homes:  they are new or almost new construction, so they are unlikely to need repairs, and they are usually built and designed in the way that's currently popular (granite counter tops / stainless steel appliances / open floor plan / neutral colors / hardwood floors).  The cons to these homes (in the neighborhoods where we looked):  they are jam packed together, so there is often no yard, sometimes a shared wall, and generally a lack of parking and space around your house.  Also, they often come with hefty HOA fees.  I was not bothered by the idea of living in a so-called "soulless suburb" - that would have been more than made up for by the awesome pool and workout center and hiking trails.  The locations were on the outskirts of town, farther away from work, friends, and family.

House Two:  "Smaller and Updated" - These homes were older than the planned community homes.  ("Older" in Reno means built in the 1980s or 1990s.)  This is both a pro and a con, as homes that are even just a few decades old are going to need much more repair work than the new construction, but they also have yards and trees and more space between houses.  These homes had 3 bedrooms and small living areas, but everything in the house and yard was well cared for and updated, so you could move in and not want to change a thing.  The locations were good - close to work, good school districts, close to friends and family.  

House Three:  "Older, Bigger, Good Location" - Again, by older I mean "built in the 1980s".  This house had the most space on the inside and the outside.  It had 4 bedrooms.  It was structurally in good shape, had been well cared for, and had a great layout.  The decor was not updated (some of the rooms had wallpaper, the kitchen did not have granite countertops, that kind of thing).  There was a yard with trees.  It was located close to friends and family, and in a good school district.  

So which house did we choose, if you haven't already guessed based on my composite versus specific phrasing?  We chose House #3, pictured above.  Here's why:

• Tons of space, particularly in the living areas, as well as plenty of storage space.  
• Great layout that combines the virtues of open floor plan and separate spaces.  Lots of light.  
• It has a good sized yard with trees, which is a definite plus in Reno, where many homes don't have yards or yards are zeroscaped or neighborhoods are so new that there are no trees in sight. 
• Lots of character - the previous owner lived there for decades and really made the place her own - not always in the ways we would have chosen, but it gives the house lots of personality . Some of those things we will probably change (there is some crazy floral wallpaper in the living room with window shades that were custom designed to match the wallpaper!) - other things I think we will decide that we love just as they are.  
• Location - good school districts (into the preschool program that we hoped for Joshua!), close to family and friends, relatively convenient to Kenny's work, close to services, near 3 great parks, and less than a mile from my favorite public library!  

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This will be our fifth home in five years.  All the moves happened for a good reason, and we've had some memorable adventures along the way, but that adds up to a lot of transition in a short time.  After so much moving, I am very excited to settle in and make this house our home.  I think all the moving has had some advantages -- it's re-enforced the idea that your "home" is more about who you live with rather than the physical dwelling; it's caused us to sort through our possessions and get rid of (some of) the things that we don't need; and the staying with parents thing (we've been living with Kenny's parents for the last 2 months) has been awesome -- we have extremely comfortable accomodations at both of the parents' houses, where we are cooked for, cared for, and loved.  But now we have reached move-in week, and I'm hoping that this is a home where we can put down roots and really work on making this house, this neighborhood, and this town our home.  Excited to move in and get started!

On Praying in Difficult Situations

One of the questions I've faced in my prayer life is:  how do you balance praying for a particular outcome that you really want and honoring the idea that God is in control?   This question comes up most urgently when you are in a situation that feels desperate and out of control - a major health concern, a threat to your closest relationships, an impending disaster.  These are the times when people turn to prayer, but also the times when it can be confusing to know exactly how to pray.

My thought process goes something like this:  how I should I be praying about this whole thing?  If God is in control and God works all things for our good, then shouldn't I just trust that those promises apply to this situation?  But on the other hand, the Bible says to pray without ceasing, to ask and it will be given you.  Should we be pleading with God to give us the desire of our hearts, or should we just trust that He knows what He's doing?

It seems like both pieces ("trust God" and "ask God to do a particular thing") are important, but it's hard to see how they fit together, as they sort of seem to be at odds.  So how do we balance this tension in our prayers?  Tim Keller gives the best answer I've ever seen in his book "Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God".  He says:  we should pray for both at the same time.  And he gives two examples of Jesus doing this.

The first example, the one that's really stayed in my head, is when Jesus is praying in the Garden of Gethsemane.  The garden is where Jesus goes to pray as Judas is betraying Him, as the soldiers are on their way to arrest Him, as  He is about to be crucified.  His prayer at the garden is:  "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will."  This prayer is urgent, desperate - He is sweating blood as He prays to be spared from his upcoming suffering.  But in the same sentence that He asks for relief from the situation, He also submits to God's control.

This same pattern is repeated in the Lord's Prayer.  Part of the prayer says, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done".  When we're asking for anything good - for physical healing for loved ones, for reconciliation in relationships, for justice in heartbreaking world situations - we are asking for "thy kingdom come".  But in the same breath, "thy will be done" is saying that God knows better than we do what is good.  So I think this is what we are supposed to do.  Pour out our hearts to God, tell him exactly what we want - but in that same prayer, submit to His control.  It's not either / or - it's both, at the very same time.

Post Script:  It's good for me to think about theological conundrums like this during calm times, when I'm not in the middle of  suffering.  This is not to say that I usually (or ever) handle my prayer life the way it is supposed to go when I am the one in the middle of an impossible situation.  When Joshua was in the NICU, I spent 4 hours per day in the pumping room.  I often spent that time praying.  I prayed for his immediate health needs and his upcoming surgeries.  If things were not looking good, I prayed that God would spare his life.  There was no "thy will be done" in these prayers.  There was lots of begging, lots of fear, some tears, and some anger.  And honestly, if I was put in that same situation again today (or other equally difficult things), my response would not be different.  I think God meets us where we are (the Psalms support this idea).  I think it's good to aspire to the pattern set out for us, but at least in the hardest situations, I am very much not there yet.