Dating is to Marriage as Campaigning is to Governing

Kenny and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary this week, so I've been reflecting on marriage.  And I've also been watching lots of West Wing this spring.  So, combining those two things, I came up with this analogy:  Dating is to Marriage as Campaigning is to Governing.  Here's how:

1.  You put on your best face at the beginning and paint things in a very rosy light.  If you are dating, you talk about things like who's your favorite band and where's your favorite vacation spot.  If you are campaigning, you spend lots of time shaking hands and kissing babies and little time discussing substantive policy.  Either way, you focus on things that are positive and light and not likely to offend.  In either case, you spend a LOT of energy trying to be charming and witty and attractive, you are very attentive to the needs and wishes of your date / voter, and you take care to say and do things that will be appealing to them.

2.  The things you talk about during dating / campaigning will probably have very little to do with the things that turn out to be most important during your marriage / governing term.  Kenny and I spent plenty of time while we were dating talking about where we would like to live and the possibility of of raising a family.  But it never even occurred to us that we might move to Virginia (which will soon be the place we've lived the longest), or that one of our children might have serious medical needs - and those have been two of the things that have had the most major impact on our lives in the last seven years.  And that is just seven years in - who knows what life has in store for the next fifty years.  Likewise, every president has major things come up, both foreign and domestic, that could not have been (specifically) foreseen during campaign season.  Often, these are the things that define their presidency.

3.  BUT, that doesn't mean that the dating / campaigning is all for nothing.  The dating / campaign season gives you a chance to see what the person values and what their character is like, even though it might be buried beneath witty repartee or vague campaign slogans.  In dating Kenny, I got to see that he loves his family and is very generous with his time and energy towards those he loves, and sure enough, that has translated into him being a loving and involved father - for example, giving Joshua late night g-tube feeds and working with him every day on speech practice.  I also got to see that Kenny loves to think, loves to write, and is gifted at teaching - so when a job came up in Virginia that incorporated all those things, I knew it would be wise for us to take that opportunity.  It's the same with politicians.  You don't know specifically what's going to come up during their term, but you get some sense of how they will govern based on how they have lived their life up to that point, what they names as their top priorities, and how they respond to issues that are currently in the news.

So what conclusions can be drawn from this?  For me, it's to thank God that I ended up with a great partner even though I had no clue what marriage would be like when we were dating, and to pay more attention to a politicians' character and less to their specific policy promises (except to the extent that those reveal values and character).

I would love to hear how others fill in the blanks.  (Dating is to Marriage as ____ is to _____.)