I just read Henri Nouwen's book "Spiritual Formation" and while the whole book is pretty great, there are two passages that stood out to me. The first is on judgment:
"Judging others is a heavy load; why not let it go? Being judged by others is a relatively light load; why worry about it? Often I have asked myself: What would it be like if I no longer had any desire to judge another? Or be controlled by the judgments of others? I would walk on the earth as a very light person indeed!"
I 100% agree with this sentiment and it would radically change my life if I could internalize it. It would be interesting if there was an app that could chart how much of the day I spend judging and feeling judged: I watch HGTV and judge 20-year-olds for being so entitled and thinking they need stainless steel appliances and granite countertops; I take my kids out to the park and worry that other parents are judging me as the worst mom ever when my toddler starts screeching and my baby starts eating sand; I go to the grocery store and judge the person in the next aisle for the food that's in their cart, but also worry that they are judging me for the very same thing. And on and on. How much stress and anguish could be saved if I stopped judging others and worrying about whether they were judging me? And why is it so hard to cut out all the judging? Good things to think about.
The second passage I really liked is on gratitude:
"Gratitude is not a simple emotion or an obvious attitude. It is a difficult discipline in which I constantly reclaim my whole past as the concrete way God has led me to this moment and is sending me into the future. It is hard precisely because it challenges me to face my painful moments -- experiences of rejection and abandonment, feelings of loss and failure -- and gradually to discover in them the pruning hands of God purifying my heart for deeper love, stronger hope, and broader faith."
Nouwen is saying that we should be grateful for the good *and* the bad stuff in our life because God is using all of it to grow you. I tend to think of gratitude in a much different way - I think of it as being thankful for material blessings, positive experiences, new opportunities, and good things happening to my friends and family. And let me tell you, I struggle even with this "easy" type of gratitude - it's so easy to let the good things in my life become the status quo and start wanting more. But I agree with Nouwen's characterization of gratitude, and while I'm not even close to actually feeling grateful for the hard things in my life, it's helpful to read passages like this and reflect on how hard experiences move us towards deeper love, stronger hope, and broader faith.
I just scratched the surface with my reflections on both of these quotes, so I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with these ideas.
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