Stitch Fix

What you see when you first open the box

 I'm writing this blog in case there's anyone reading this who is thinking about trying Stitch Fix and wants to get a better idea of how the service works. 

What is Stitch Fix and how does it work?

Stitch Fix is an online clothing styling company.  You fill out a profile with your sizes and style preferences.  Then, they send you a box with 5 pieces that the stylist picks out for you.  You have 3 days to try it on, decide what you want to keep, and return the rest.  The cost of shipping both ways is "free" (built into the cost of the service) and they include an envelope that makes return shipping very easy. 

Is there a minimum cost?

Style Card

There is a minimum $20 styling fee, which is applied towards any purchase you make from the box.  I've received about 10 boxes and have never not found at least one thing that I really, genuinely wanted to keep (so I've never "lost" the styling fee because it's always been applied to a purchase). 

Pros and Cons:

The pros are 1) you can avoid in person shopping - anyone who has ever had the painful experience of shopping with me knows that this is a HUUUUGE plus for me, even before kids, 2) you will probably receive some pieces that you would never have picked out for yourself but you end up loving, and 3) it's pretty high quality stuff.  Stitch Fix jeans in particular are amazing. 

The only real con is that you might end up spending too much money.  You have a lot of control in this - how often you order a new box, how high or low you ask Stitch Fix to set price controls, how many pieces you choose to keep.  But I have found that when you get a box on your doorstep and it feels like Christmas opening it, and then you try the pieces on and at least some of them look great, it is *really* hard to resist buying.  (And this is coming from a person who errors WAY on the side of cheap - i can go into Target with a gift certificate and not manage to spend it all.) 

What comes in a box?

Cardigan and jeans

I'm showing my most recent box here.  Here is how the pieces looked when I tried them on, and what I decided to keep. 

First up:  1) cardigan, and 2) jeans.  When I first saw that cardigan, I thought, "No way."  It looked way too Mr. Rogers, and while I do have a total nerdy side (and I would love it if I someday have a job that, if it were a piece of clothing, looked exactly like this), it's not what I'm looking to show off ala Stitch Fix clothing.   But then I tried the cardigan on and it was so warm and comfortable, and that *almost* changed my mind, as I'm always always always cold when the temp dips below 75.  But ultimately, I just didn't think I would wear it enough, so the verdict on cardigan is Return. 

Dress

The jeans were okay, but they were a little short, fit strangely in the waist, and were too expensive to be anything less than a perfect fit.  Stitch Fix can get you a pair of jeans that will be the best fit you've ever had, so it doesn't make sense to keep them when they miss the mark, even by just a little bit.  The verdict on the jeans is also Return.

Next, i tried on the 3) dress.  I loved this one.  This is exactly the kind of piece that I hope for from Stitch Fix - something that shows a stylist thoughts about how to flatter your body type, and in a print that I wouldn't have chosen for myself but like once it's on.  Verdict:  Keep.

Casual brown shirt

Then, onto the 4) casual brown shirt.  Often Stitch Fix is great about sending a plain colored, casual shirt with some added embellishment that makes the shirt both versatile (because of the plain color) and special.  I was hoping this tie on the stomach would be that, but instead it was just odd.  It might be that my torso is too long for this shirt to work well, but it shows just a bit of tummy and not in a flattering way.  Meanwhile, it adds volume to your abdomen, which I'm not sure who's looking for that feature in a shirt, but it's not me.  Verdict:  Return.

Mixed print shirt

Lastly, I tried on the 5) mixed print shirt.  I loved this one.  I need casual fall shirts, it will work well with my chasing-young-kids lifestyle, and it's interesting how it mixes two materials.  Verdict:  Keep.

This is a pretty typical box for me.  One or two pieces that I definitely want to buy, two more that I'm on the fence about and decide based on budget and wardrobe needs, and one or two that are just total fails (but that's not bad for a stylist that knows you only through the Internet!). 

So there's my Stitch Fix preview.  If any of you want to try it and feel like doing me a solid at the same time, here's my referral code.  Thanks for reading!

In Defense of Thoughts and prayers

I've seen lots of social media push back this week on people offering "thoughts and prayers" in the wake of a tragedy, particularly regarding the shooting in Las Vegas.  And I do get these posters' frustration - they are sad to see more people suffering and they want to see action to fix things.  I share this desire for policy action - we've had two shootings this month that were close to home and i would LOVE to see gun regulations tighten up.

But, i want to offer up some push back to this thoughts and prayers push back:

1.  It is a false dichotomy to claim that posting about thoughts and prayers cannot go with taking action (whether this action is sending aid to Puerto Rico, calling your legislator about gun control, donating blood, etc.).  You can do both, and many people do.

2.  For people of faith (like myself), praying is not "doing nothing".  You may not share the same belief system, and if you don't believe in prayer then nobody is asking you to pray, but it's disrespectful to people of faith to dismiss prayers like that.  Along these same lines, please do not write that you're praying or sending prayers or anything along these lines if you're not actually praying, because i think this is also a disrespectful way to use prayer.

3.  Sending thoughts and prayers is a phrase saying that you're supporting that community.  These messages of support can add up and really bolster people who are suffering.  Just because you can't fix the situation doesn't mean you can't help someone by letting them know that you care and they are not forgotten.

4.  If you're completely unconnected to the event in any way and you still post about thoughts and prayers, and that message never directly reaches any of the victims, and that message is mostly about making you feel better - so what?!  I've seen Facebook used in a thousand worse ways than someone expressing an empathetic message towards victims of a disaster or atrocity.

36 Hours in Reno / Tahoe

Welcome to my 36 hours in Reno / Tahoe blog!  I'm lucky to have 2 sets of family visitors this month, so that's given me reason to think about how to be a tourist in my own town.  As I put this blog post together, I realize how difficult the job of a travel writer can be (and then i look back at that sentence

Tahoe stop

and laugh, because what a dream job that would be!):  you're writing for as broad an audience as possible, but vacations will look totally different based on the age, family composition, and interests of the travelers.  My recommendations here are based on things that I enjoy about my area (so casinos are not included, and outdoors are included heavily).  My sister was the most recent visitor, so many of the pictures feature her.  Here we go...

Friday Night:

When you first arrive in Reno, I would head to the downtown River Walk.  Enjoy the Truckee River and the surrounding mountains.  Once you've worked up an appetite, there are several good restaurants in the downtown and Midtown area.  I would recommend Campo, a nice Italian restaurant near the river walk.  After that, check out a fun independent bookstore nearby called Sundance Books and Music.

Truckee brunch with the babies

Saturday Morning:

Saturday is Tahoe day!  Start off the day in historic downtown Truckee.  Truckee is a small mountain town just outside of the ski resorts on the north side of Lake Tahoe.  You can grab brunch at one of several cute cafes along the main shopping strip, buy a Lake Tahoe souvenir, and dream about how you will furnish your future vacation home at Lake Tahoe.  

Saturday Afternoon:

From Truckee, proceed to Lake Tahoe.  My advice here is to go in with a rough plan of a few places that you would like to stop and see, but also to be flexible.  We had hoped to see Emerald Bay, which is arguably the most picturesque spot on the entire Lake, but which also has extremely limited parking.  It was a zoo the day we visited, so we changed our itinerary to instead visit Tahoe Dam on North Lake, and we then made a second stop at Baldwin Beach near South Lake.  All the places along Lake Tahoe are breathtakingly beautiful in their own way, and depending on the season / time of day / events happening, some places will be easier to access than others.  If you keep plans held loosely in the first place, you can enjoy whatever stop you end up making.  (If you don't want to be flexible, then you need to be early :).)

Random stop along West Tahoe

Saturday Evening:

After an eventful outdoor day, I'm usually tired and hungry, so I'm ready for a big meal close to home.  Casa Grande in Northwest Reno serves up delicious and filling Mexican food and generous margaritas in a family friendly environment.

Sunday Morning:

One of the up and coming streets in Reno is Dickerson Road.  Start the morning off with a short, beautiful hike in the Oxbow Nature Study Area, which is at the very end of Dickerson Road.  After working up an appetite, get brunch at Oxbow Cafe.  After brunch, you can check out the art galleries (if they happen to be open - hours are unpredictable!) and stroll through Sierra Water Gardens.

Kid Updates Sept 2017

This post is an update on all of the kids, including a back to school report for both of the big kids, a health update about Josh, and a blurb on baby Ivy.


Zoey school:

Zoey is my kid with big feelings, so I knew the first week of kindergarten was going to be either really great or really hard, and I wasn't sure which way that scale was going to tip.  Fortunately -- she loves school!  I think it really helps that she's watched Joshua walk into an elementary school for the past 4 years, and in particular she watched all the kindergarten events closely last year.  So she's had great anticipation of getting to do her own show and tell, recess, field trips, story time, music concerts, etc.  Since Zoey had never attended any kind of formal school before, I made some effort to prepare her academically (by going through a couple Pre-K workbooks from Costco and by doing several arts and crafts projects) and socially (by having her participate in a variety of activities with other kids and other adults leading - soccer, dance, MOPS, and Sunday school).  But I'm learning that I should have done more to prepare her practically - like, how to open and close your backpack quickly, how to eat lunch in 30 minutes or less - things like that.  However, this viral video makes me think that she's not the only kindergartener with a learning curve on the practical skills:

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Josh school:

Josh is in a combined 1st and 2nd grade mainstream classroom this year.  (Side note:  apparently mixed grade is a very unusual set-up in public schools, as parents had tons of questions about it on back to school night.  I went through all of elementary school in mixed age classrooms, because this was the best way to arrange things with a small student population and small teaching staff, so it's interesting to see this questioned and defended as an educational philosophy, rather than just used as a practical necessity.)  We are hoping this will be good for him especially next year, as he will continue with the same teachers and classroom rules and routines.  Mixed age classrooms also allow (and require) the teachers to be creative and attentive to teaching to a wide range of learning levels, so this can be an especially good placement for student with special education needs.  His teachers seem wonderful, so I'm happy with the placement.  There's always a lot of back and forth between me and the school in the first couple weeks, as new teachers tend to first underestimate his needs, then overestimate his needs, and then after lots of communication and adjustment on everyone's part, we all settle into a comfortable place.

One of my favorite things about Josh is that he gets interested in topics with all his heart and soul.  (It's a little wearing, but also extremely endearing.)  His ultimate favorite topic is bridges, but he also gets temporarily very interested in units at school:  snakes, storms, and most recently, the solar eclipse.  It really helps that, for all the ways school can be challenging, he really loves learning (if the topic is right, haha - but isn't that true for all of us?).

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Josh health:

The two things going on in this category are recurrent sinus infections and possible sleep apnea.  Josh will have a sleep study done at the end of September.  If it shows significant levels of obstructive sleep apnea, then the ENT will remove his tonsils and shave his adenoids (which could also possibly help with the sinus infections).  If the sleep study doesn't show apnea, then no surgery.  I'll be updating on Facebook and would appreciate prayers, as both sleep studies and tonsillectomies are no fun (though, fortunately, they are also very common and low risk).

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Ivy Jo:  

This girl has been such a delightful, easy baby.  She has the biggest, warmest smile, and the happiest disposition.  But as she's transitioning into the toddler phase, I think she also might be our biggest handful as a one-year-old.  She's extremely curious and determined, and as a young toddler, that means she's into everything.  (And right now, her only mode of getting around is army crawling - the intensity will ramp up exponentially once she's walking.)  Even as she gets to be more of a handful, she is a great joy and a wonderful addition to our family.

My Thoughts on Genetic Editing

In the news this week: scientists have made a major advance towards editing baby's genes in utero in order to prevent genetic diseases.  As someone whose child has a genetic disorder, I have some thoughts on this.

My first instinct is that we shouldn't be messing with genes because:

1.  Can the scientists get it right?  Some of us won't even eat a vegetable that's been genetically modified for fear that messing with the plant's genes is going to cause negative consequences.  (By the way, I'm in favor of genetically modified food, but that's a discussion for a different post.)  If we can't trust scientists to modify our food, then why in the world would we trust them to modify our *babies*?  From the article, it looks like the method they have developed involves cutting out the genes that carry diseases and then hoping that the body grows healthy genes in its place.  I'm no scientist, but that seems to leave some very significant room for error.  And while genetics is getting more advanced all the time, (my understanding is that) the precision with which bodies operate using DNA far outpaces our human understanding of how all this works.  So the pieces of DNA that get cut out could very likely be too big, too small, cutting out some of the essential with some of the faulty, etc.  

2.  What kind of Pandora's Box is this opening?  If you can modify genes to help prevent diseases, you can also modify genes to choose gender, skin color, intelligence - anything about the body.  Are we okay with messing with any of this?  Doesn't this sound a lot like eugenics?  Doesn't this also sound a little Tower of Babel-esque?

3.  Even if it can be limited only to preventing genetic diseases, and can be done 100% correctly, should it be done?

This is the trickiest question, I think.    On one hand:  As a person of faith, I think that God is good and God is sovereign, and that He created this diversity of abilities for a good reason.  I don't fully understand it, but I trust that God knows better than I do, and that there are good reasons for all the beautiful diversity in the world, including genetic diversity.  

On the other hand...I'm glad that I will never have to make this choice about gene editing, because while I do feel like it's a bad idea for all the reasons listed above, it would be excruciating and nearly impossible to decline that choice as the parent, at the beginning of a difficult medical journey.  I love Joshua fiercely, exactly as he is, and I have learned a ton and grown as a person and met some wonderful friends because of his disability -- but despite all that, if someone handed me the "keys to the kingdom" of his DNA that would allow me to fix the missing pieces that have caused all the surgeries, all the medical ups and downs, all the developmental difficulties - it would be so hard not to accept that.  Because the world is built for medically and developmentally typical people, and Joshua's life (especially those first years) would just be easier if he was "typical".  And there are other kids whose genetic condition has impacted them much more severely, including some whose conditions are not compatible with life - when you think about these cases, the analysis doesn't seem so clear cut.  It raises an interesting ethical question about why is this different from other cutting edge medical technology that can prolong life, why is this the appropriate place to draw the line?  Why wouldn't we want to help children have more years of life and less pain?

  As always, I'm interested to hear my friends thoughts, and I ask people to please be gentle and respectful in the comments.  

What will I do with all my time?

This is my attempt to be funny.

When people hear that Zoey's starting kindergarten this fall, meaning two of my three kids will be enrolled in full time school, the first question is, "what are you going to do with all your time?"  (I'm not referring to any one person - this has been asked by pretty much everyone I've talked to about it.)  I know that it's meant somewhat rhetorically, in contrast to what life is like with all 3 kids at home.  But I have a blog, so here's the answer!

First, because apparently I'm feeling defensive (and writing on behalf of all stay at home parents with some of their kids in school), I'm going to relativize "all that time":

• 180 days of the year are school days, so the other 185 days of the year, all 3 kids are at home.
• On those school days, the early mornings and then afternoon / evenings are the craziness of a 3 kid family, and those times right before and right after school are much crazier because of school.  (When it was just Josh in school, I actually preferred the days off of school, not just because I like spending time with him, but because they are easier.  There's lots of hustle and bustle that goes with school, as well as rough transition times.)
• The special needs tasks continue, which include one or more appointments per week, and miscellaneous things like gathering paperwork for insurance, extra communicating with the school, ordering and picking up meds, and researching something or other.
• Some of the volume of work throughout the day (laundry / dishes / cleaning, grocery shopping / cooking, errands, shuttling to activities) is still that of 3 kids.  
• And oh yes, the main thing: there is still a beautiful and darling 10 month old at home full time who keeps me on my toes at all moments that she's awake.

More jokes

But - and I think this is what the question is getting at - for the first time in a very long time, I do have regular stretches of the day where one kid is napping and the other two kids are in school, and I do get to CHOOSE what to do with that time.  Here's what I'm hoping and planning for that time to look like:

• The thing I *really* want to do is start running again and maybe train for a half marathon in the spring.  If I can add in this one thing 3-4 times a week, I will be so happy.  Then, as time allows, I will also try to do some of these other things:
• Take a Coursera course
• Nap
• Enjoy some of the things I already do, but without constant interruption
• Quiet times
• Reading for fun
• Talking to my sister on the phone
• Blog

And the hours where Ivy is awake but it's just her and me will also be different.  There are tons of things that are easier with just one kid in tow: taking the dog for walks, going to coffee shops, running errands.  I'll be able to take her to stuff that the big kids have mostly aged out of - like toddler time at the library, toddler area at the Children's museum - and then not feel guilty as she gets dragged to all the bigs' activities on nights and weekends.

Cant' stop won't stop

It will be interesting to see what Ivy's experience is like as both of her big siblings start school.  Josh's and Zoey's early years were so intertwined, and for them that was great (although certainly there were moments that would have been easier for me with only one, or nice for them to get more of my individual attention).  Ivy loves having her siblings around and she appears to be the most extroverted member of our family, so I think she will miss having them around during the day.  But she is adaptable, she will get plenty of my attention, we will stay involved in our play group, and she will have her siblings around some of the time - so I think it will be good.

Those of you with kid(s) in school and also kid(s) at home - especially those with an age gap of 3 years or more - I would be interested in any advice you have!

P.S.  Since I'm on the topic of this being a transitional time:  will I ever go back to work?  Yes, probably.  I'm not sure exactly when or what that will look like, but I would like to be a practicing lawyer again someday.  But for the next few years, I'm still feeling this way with Ivy.

4th of July and LBJ

Kenny and I visited Austin last week, and as part of our trip, we toured the Lyndon B. Johnson presidential library.  It was inspiring to see LBJ's massive list of legislative accomplishments - the "War on Poverty".  Since this week is a celebration of America, and since many of us are discouraged about what's going on with national politics right now, I wanted to share some of my thoughts that came from walking through this museum.  

LBJ's inaugural speech depicts an America which is already great, and which is greater still when it lifts everyone up:

"In a land of great wealth, families must not live in hopeless poverty. In a land rich in harvest, children just must not go hungry. In a land of healing miracles, neighbors must not suffer and die untended. In a great land of learning and scholars, young people must be taught to read and write."

Based on this vision, one that's rooted in hope rather than fear, LBJ pushed through a staggering list of anti-poverty programs, civil rights laws, and other huge contributions to our society.  I will list just a few highlights - the full list of 100+ laws is here:

• Clean Air Act
• Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act
• Medicaid, Medicare, Food Stamps, HUD
• Free School Breakfast and Lunch, Head Start, federal funding for all levels of education (including college)
• Created PBS, NPR, and NASA
• Public safety acts that made cars and highways safer

So what does this mean for us now?  Our country's current leadership seems locked in extreme partisanship and is led by a man whose domestic agenda is exactly the opposite of all this.  What relevance does a president from 50 years ago have to modern day?

What it means to me is that America's leadership has not always been this way and will not always be this way.  Do you think our great grandparents, pre-FDR, could imagine a country where the federal government helped pay for health care, housing, food, and higher education for those who who could not afford it?  Where we had rigorous (if not perfect) environmental and safety standards, and excellent publicly funded news sources?  Where human beings of every race were guaranteed some basic civil rights?  Just 100 years ago, all of these things were unimaginable, and now we have all of them.  There's great debate about whether these programs should be bigger or smaller; repealed or improved or stay exactly the same.  But the fact remains that we have a public safety net for our most vulnerable citizens and legislation guaranteeing certain human rights, which would have seemed like a pie in the sky dream 100 years ago.  

I do not mean to suggest that we should put any ultimate hope in politics or politicians, as I think this will always disappoint.  I also do not mean to make light of the dramatic impact that a particular law change can have on a particular family, and I intend to keep posting / calling / waving my fist on behalf of these things.  But I do think it's worthwhile to contextualize this particular moment of America's history.  

We've had ups and downs in the 231 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed.  This current administration is the pendulum swinging away from LBJ's vision, but it will eventually swing back.  In the meantime, those of us who agree with robust federal programs to support anti-poverty initiatives, civil rights, education, public safety, and the environment can keep voting, making phone calls, and otherwise making our voices heard.  We still live in a free country where we can make our protests, where transitions of power happen peacefully - there is so much to be thankful for.


I will end with this very famous quote from the Declaration of Independence, which we celebrate today and which is on point with the vision of America that I saw in the LBJ museum.  Happy Independence day, America!