Decision Making as the World Re-Opens

Another corona blog post!  I wanted to write a post about decision making as the world re-opens, but even just thinking about it feels like a mangled mess in my mind and in my gut, so I decided to write about that instead.  (If you're looking for some actual "how to" guides, here are two good ones:   1) assessing your personal risk as the world re-opens, and 2) Experts Rate the Risks of 14 Summer Activities.)  This is more an assorted collection of my feelings and reflections on certain things as we walk through yet another round of uncharted territory (or, as Brene Brown puts it, FFT).  I would be interested to know if any of you are feeling the same way.  (Also, if any of you are feeling totally differently!)

So, I think there are three broad categories making this re-entry time hard for me:

1.  When you're making choices for your family, it's hard to know what information to trust.  Some examples:

• Are kids relatively safe from corona?  At first it was thought yes, unless you're a kid with a medical condition; then, just yes in general; now there's this pediatric inflammatory immune response; but this seems to be both rare and treatable.  So the answer is:  yes, probably, but the answer might be different next week.  (Our pediatrician has "enjoyed" hearing questions from me every time there's a new twist in the data.)
• Our leaders haven't been super clear about whether we're re-opening because it's an economic necessity, because it's actually safe in terms of public health, or because there's an election in November and that's driving the bus.  
• Lack of information - since this virus is new, it's a mystery to all of us, and so the information coming from the CDC tends to change (see, e.g., recommendations on contaminated surfaces).  And because there hasn't yet been widespread testing, we don't have the best information about exactly how much of a threat we're facing. 

2.  I am very motivated to avoid conflict and keep the peace (shout out to my fellow Enneagram 9s), and no matter what choices you make, this is hard right now.  Some examples:

If you make different choices than other people about what risk is acceptable for your family, this can lead to both sides feeling judged because of their differences of opinion.

If you get together with anyone at all (and here I'm talking about everything from the totally necessary to the totally frivolous - and many of our activities fall somewhere in between these extremes, another landmine!), it affects the risk you pose to other people and the length of time before other people will feel safe getting together with you.  And this leads to a whole host of possible hurt feelings.

It's a weird time to post anything at all on Facebook.  (Doesn't stop me from posting daily!  But still weird!)  Like, if you post a picture out in nature, you might be angering people who feel that stay at home should mean literally stay in the 4 walls of your house.  If you post a masked selfie, you might be angering your freedom loving friends.  The list could go on and on. 

3.  It's hard to walk the line of wisdom - not being ruled too much by desperation to get back to regular life, but also not being ruled too much by fear.  Here are a few things I'm eager to see come back sooner rather than later (but I only want to happen if they can be done safely for everyone involved):

• Getting together with friends and family - this is the #1 thing I've missed, and we've played it conservative on this front.  In some ways, this feels much more optional than getting food from the grocery store or medicine from the pharmacy - - but now that we're looking at how to handle things over the course of several months rather than 2 weeks, it's becoming abundantly clear how important these connections are to sustaining our souls, and how Zoom is an imperfect substitute.  I'm not saying here that everyone should just throw social distancing out the window; I'm saying it's okay to mourn the loss of in-person get-togethers, and as you're weighing the risk of limited, small group  (and also best practices: masked, outdoor, and socially distanced) get-togethers  you should also weigh the value.  (Caveat 1:  some of you are in situations where you need to completely social distance until a widely available vaccine creates herd immunity; others have been getting together this whole time, with no precautions.  I'm not looking to start a fight!  See point #2!) (Caveat 2:  I'm definitely not saying here to just open the floodgates and get together with everyone all the time.  I'm saying to consider how you might see those few people who are most important and necessary to you in a safe way (and in your area or your life situation, there may not be a safe way yet.))  Look at all those disclaimers!  And this paragraph still might make people more angry than maybe anything else I've ever written on this blog!
• Church - I miss you so much, Covenant Presbyterian family!  I missed celebrating together at Easter, the Memorial BBQ potluck that would've happened this weekend, the craziness of in-person VBS that would've happened next month.  I miss shaking the pastor's hand and singing together and taking Communion together.  These are big things for me.  But it also seems very clear that there are significant hurdles to clear before a large group gathering like this is safe, so I appreciate that you're taking it slow, following government guidelines, forming a task force to make it as safe as possible when re-opening is possible, and taking advantage of technology to continue Sunday mornings and VBS in the formats that are possible right now.  
• School - I'm sure many of you have seen the meme floating around about the CDC guidelines.  I was in a rage about what that would mean for special education at first, but the place I'm in now is - we are about to go on a 10 week summer break.  Meanwhile, the information about this virus changes by the day.  Schools in other countries are opening, so we will have much better information one way or another in 4-8 weeks.  In the meantime, we can all  hope and pray that there are advances in medicine, testing, and the data that make it possible for school to be back in both a safe and doable form ASAP.  (And thank you, teachers and school staff, for all you do, in regular life and in corona life - we appreciate you now more than ever!)  (More thoughts about distance learning in my previous post.)

Hugs to all of you who are also finding this to be a confusing and anxiety provoking time.  I miss you, friends!!  Tell me how you're feeling about this new stage we're in.