Advent Post 2023: God With Us

One of the things I'm thinking about this Advent season is how God is full of surprises, and the Christmas story shows this as much as anything.  It's a such a familiar story that we forget the shock of it, but imagine seeing any of these things in the headlines, and not of the National Enquirer:

A virgin becomes pregnant with the Son of God.  Shepherds are visited in the middle of the night by a huge choir of singing angels.  Several kings follow a giant moving star to meet a baby in a farm stall.  It's crazy!  But the biggest surprise of all is how God, who created the universe with His word, entered into humanity to be with us.  This blog is some thoughts about how much we need the "with us", and what a gift it is to have God with us.  

Since we're in the holiday season, I'll start there:  when I think of favorite Christmas memories, the main thing that stands out is who I was with.  The food, the decorations, the music, and the gifts are all great and contribute to the atmosphere of abundance and celebration (and shout out to all the hosts who, over the years, have worked round the clock to make Christmas so special) - but what really makes the holiday is celebrating with those you love.  

Beyond the holidays - every day life is made better when you have someone who understands, even in part, what things are like for you.  With siblings, you understand together the unique dynamics of your family (and as we all learn, these dynamics don't end when you grow up and move out of the house!).  With a spouse, you build a shared history and life as you age together, experience the joys and challenges of parenting children, and make all kinds of decisions about all kinds of things.  With friends, you choose people who have a similar understanding of the things that seem most important to you.  In a workplace or church or community group, you understand the ups and downs of working towards a goal together with this particular group of people on this particular project.  In all of the examples listed above, things sometimes get trickier and more conflict laden because other people are involved, and not all of these people will be lifelong companions - but ultimately life is richer and better for the people who stick with us through the long haul. 

And hard times?  This is the best time of all to have someone walking beside you.  When you or a loved one gets a devastating health diagnosis; when you or someone you love is struggling with something that can't be easily "fixed"; when you've been treated horribly; when finances feel impossible.  These are the times when it feels the most needful to have someone alongside you.  

The problem is, we don't always have someone with us through the good, the ordinary, or the bad.  We don't always feel understood.  We don't always have the "with you" that we are built for, long for, need.  

This longing for "with us" is one of the things that makes Christmas so beautiful:   in the Incarnation, the God of the universe comes down to be with us.  He joins us in the ups and downs of life, so we can know that He understands exactly what it's like that we go through.  Here is my favorite quote describing that:

 "The incarnation means that for whatever reason God chose to let us fall into a condition of being limited, to suffer, to be subject to sorrows and death - he has nonetheless had the honesty and the courage to take his own medicine...He himself has gone through the whole of human experience - from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair, and death...He was born in poverty and suffered infinite pain - all for us - and thought it well worth his while."  - Dorothy Sayers

We never have to feel alone in any part of the human experience, never have to feel that no one understands us, because God understands what we go through.  And while we are in the Already Not Yet  time of waiting for Christ's return, we can take great comfort that God is with us.  Merry Christmas to all of you, and I pray that everyone reading this feels the sweet companionship and love of God with us.  

Thankfulness post 2023

It's my annual Thanksgiving week post!  This year, there's been two themes that keep popping up for me, and they seem wildly different, but they were joined last week, so I'm also going to join them in this post.  

The first theme is hope in the middle of doubt and discouragement.  Often in the fall, I struggle with feelings of self doubt.  These feelings pop up in my parenting, homeschooling, relationships with friends and family, trying to write these blog posts, you name it.  Even as I've learned to expect them, I can't seem to fight them off on my own.  But my gratitude is for the promises that in my weakness, God is strong.  That my identity isn't found in what an amazing job I'm doing (or failing to do) with my life, but rather it's found in being a child of God, which is something that I'm not powerful enough to mess up.  I'm grateful for these promises, and I'm grateful for anything that can remind me of them in the middle of weakness.

The second theme - taking a 90 degree turn - is gratitude for music.  So much of adult life is work and responsibility - but this is why moments of fun and joy and abandon are so wonderful.  For me, music and dancing often brings these feelings.  Upbeat music on a run, new songs sent by friends, Kenny playing guitar, singing worship music at church; dancing around the campfire or the living room, line dancing (badly) at the country western bar, seeing live music at a show - the joy that comes from music feels other worldly.

These two themes united when we went to see Lauren Daigle in concert last week.  The big theme of her lyrics touches on exactly the things I struggle with; lyrics like, "I keep fighting voices in my head that say I'm not enough" or "When I'm not somebody I believe in".  And then she proceeds to sing the promises of God that reminds me how God loves us through these doubts, how God is our strength, and how to pray in these moments when you're feeling so weak.  And when you experience these beautiful promises in combination with her amazing voice and band, and with an arena of 10,000 people singing along, it feels like a foretaste of heaven.

So this year, I'm grateful that we got to have this concert experience.  I'm grateful for the transcendent joy that can be felt in music.  And most of all, I'm grateful to have Someone so much bigger than me to help as I grapple with my struggles.  

Happy Thanksgiving all!  I would love to hear any of your own stories where you felt transcendent hope and joy while listening to music.  

1,000 Hours Outside

Palm tree oasis hike

This year, we decided to take on the 1,000 hours outside challenge, inspired by the podcast of the same name.  This challenge encourages families to spend more time outside throughout the year - 1,000 hours specifically, which works out to an average of 2.7 hours outside per day.  We're not quite at the end of the year, but we're rounding the bend close enough that I thought I'd write a blog about it - why we did it, what were the best and hardest parts, how did it go, and whether we will do it again.  

Kenny and Josh watching sunset in Oregon

Why do it?

The benefits of outdoor time are huge.  Just some of these benefits include:  more physical activity; more time playing / using imagination / taking risks; less time on screens;  good health and sensory effects; great memories; exposure to natural beauty; and the list goes on.  

Spooner Lake

This challenge seemed like a good way to really measure how we were doing at getting outdoors, and to encourage looking for any and every space that would get us outside more.  We are reasonably outdoorsy in the warm weather months, but I would guess in past years we were only getting to about half the amount of hours in this challenge (maybe??  if even that much??).  I wanted to see if we could ramp our hours way up and turn sustained outdoor time into more of a habit.  

How did it go?  What were the best parts and the biggest challenges?

The first challenge we faced was weather.  As I wrote about previously on this blog, our region received record breaking amounts of snow this year.  There are some kinds of weather where it's unpleasant, but not impossible, to be outside: days that are unpleasantly hot, unpleasantly cold, or precipitous.  I felt like it was one of the unexpected benefits of this challenge to try to take these uncomfortable days on - to learn how to dress appropriately, to find the fun and motivating activity that gets you out (sledding!), and to strategize about what's the best time of day with this kind of weather forecast.  An hour outside in dreary January does as much to boost the mood as 8 hours outside in beautiful May, and this was one of my favorite takeaways from the challenge.  However - while we did get a little time logged in that snowy first quarter, probably much more than we would have without the challenge - we were still mostly indoors and we were WAY behind by the time April hit.  

Zoey writing poetry at Evans Creek

Partly because we were so desperate for hours, I started doing school outside once the warm weather arrived.  And this was great!  It provided some fresh energy during that fourth quarter when everyone is worn down.  It should be noted here that this was a great answer to the two other main challenges:  1) finding the time, and 2) killing boredom.  It's great when your outdoor hours can be filled with adventuring, but to fill 1,000 hours, much of it is going to need to take place close to home with everyday tasks.  Chores are great for this - watering the lawn, tending a garden, walking the dog.  Outdoor exercise is great for this - running, bike rides, baseball, skiing.  And if you can combine the outdoors with things that you want or need to do anyway, but might have normally done indoors - things like meals, board games, art projects, reading, school - that will really rack up the hours during the warmer weather months, when it's comfortable to be outside.  I really liked that this challenge encouraged me to move indoor things outside whenever possible, and I hope that continues past this year.  

Once school was out in June, we conducted our summer pretty much as normal, which includes lots of outdoor time at various bodies of water and a couple camping trips.  This reminds me of another thing I appreciated about this challenge - it encourages you to say yes to adventures.  Whether this means coming up with your own plans, or saying yes to someone's invitation to get together outdoors even when you might be feeling lazy (or introverted!) - it's good to have this extra push to do outdoor outings.

We were blessed not to have any wildfire smoke this summer (some years, smoke impacts up to 60 days - there's no way we would have met the hours in a year like that).  Between the school hours in the shoulder seasons of spring and fall, combined with summer being so amenable to outdoor time, we were able to catch up.  We haven't officially finished our 1,000 hours yet, but we are down to the final 50 hours, so we are in the home stretch.  

[A note for those who are also doing the 1,000 hours:  There were certain tracking rules that we did not follow.  If we slept in a tent, I counted those hours.  If the kids were playing in the backyard while I was inside cooking dinner, or if I was outside for a run while the kids were inside, I counted those hours.  All of the "broken rule" hours combined probably make up less than 200 of our total hours - but I want to disclose that, in case anyone is wondering, and to own up that we wouldn't have made it to 1,000 without breaking a couple rules.]

Andelin Farms

Favorite outdoor memories

This is one of the great parts - outdoors time makes great memories!  Some favorite memories include skiing at Sky Tavern with the kids; sledding Village Green; hiking through a palm tree oasis in Palm Springs; going on a lichen hunt on a spring hike; night swimming with glowsticks with the cousins; diving into the waves on a choppy day at Lake Tahoe; middle of the night run through Genoa during the Reno Tahoe Odyssey; paddle boarding at Boca on Zoey's birthday; having a campfire dance party with friends; spotting whales on the Oregon beach; and telling ghost stories in the tent.  

Sky Tavern

Will we do it again?

I'm undecided.  I'm glad we did it once, and I do hope lots of the outdoor habits stick.  But it was pretty challenging to get all these hours and keep track of it all; also, getting outdoors is just one priority among many in life; so I'm thinking we might drop the tracking at the end of December.  

Have you done this challenge?  Are you thinking about doing it?  I'd be very interested to hear about others' experiences!  

"All That's Good: Recovering the Lost Art of Discernment" - Book Thoughts

 From time to time, I write a blog post focusing on a book I've read recently.  These aren't reviews - they are a summary of some of my favorite thoughts from the book.  The goal of these posts is to help me remember the book better, and hopefully to encourage a few of you to check it out as well.  The book I'm writing about today is "All That's Good:  Recovering the Lost Art of Discernment" by Hannah Anderson.  

This book's main idea is that discernment doesn't just mean avoiding what's bad, but also learning to recognize what's good and beautiful - which can be hard to do in our noisy, chaotic, distraction filled world.  Anderson's framework for finding goodness and beauty is Philippians 4:8:  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  When we learn to find the things that fit these descriptors (true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable), we will find what is good and beautiful.   The meat of the book goes through each of these characteristics, chapter by chapter, and gives us ideas for how to search these things out.  

Here is an example quote from each chapter (these are not intended to summarize the chapter, but just to give you an idea of the type of content):

• True:  Here, the idea is that if something is true, it should be able to stand up to questioning and contrary opinions.  And if we care about the truth more than being comfortable and right, we should be open to changing our mind if we are proven wrong.  P. 75: "We must be willing to test, question, doubt - not the truth, but our own certainty and our own motivations.  We must expect and even invite the Scripture and other people to confront and question us.  We must allow the truth to make us honest people."  
• Honorable:  There were two ideas that stuck with me from this chapter - 
• First, we need a source of honor that comes from outside other people's approval.  P. 85: "when we know that our worth comes from God, it frees us from needing to seek it from other people."  
• Second, she urges us to look carefully at who our culture encourages us to honor, and how that matches up with what the Bible says.  P. 90: "God regularly upends our cultural notions about who and what deserve honor, choosing instead to destroy the wisdom of the wise. Instead of using the rich, He uses the poor.  Instead of celebrating the powerful, He celebrates the weak.  And instead of calling those of noble birth, He sends His Son to a manger." 
• Just: This chapter talks about how we are bothered when things aren't right because we all carry a sense of goodness; and then it talks about how part of the mess comes from us; and how that points us to our justifier.  P. 106: "The problem with seeking justice is how quickly the process reveals our own injustice.  We want the world to be the way it should be only to find out that we ourselves are not what we should be...But here too, seeking justice leads to goodness, because when we seek justice, we will find the One who justifies the unjust."
• Pure:  This chapter focuses on how purity is having a whole and undivided heart, and that choices made in secret will flow out to our broader character.  P. 115: "whether we fulfill our promises to those closest to us predicts whether we will fulfill our promises to the broader community."  It also encourages becoming wise about what is good in this arena rather than just trying to avoid what is bad, and teaching kids the same - P. 120: "to be open and honest with the struggles, to celebrate the joy and security of lifelong commitment, to delight in the God-given goodness of our physical bodies."  
• Lovely: One part I loved in this chapter is how to treat the loveliness you see in other people.  P. 136: "So when we truly see the loveliness of our brothers and sisters, our hearts will respond as it does to any other form of loveliness: in celebration of their Creator - a Creator so wise, so imaginative, so kind as to create each one of us.  And when we celebrate their Creator, we will guard the loveliness He has made.  We will sacrifice for it, even if it means sacrificing our own desire for it.  This is something of what we mean when we talk about not objectifying other people.  Their beauty is not ours to possess; it is not ours to consume.  It is ours to protect."
• Commendable: This chapter focused on what do we read and what do we talk about, with a special focus on how we interact on the Internet and social media.  P. 142: "If we spend our days sharing trivialities, life will be trivial.  If we spend our days focused on what we fear, life will be filled with anxiety.  If, however, we spend our days talking about good, worthy, glorious things, there is the strong likelihood that our lives will be filled with good, worthy, glorious things."  

If this concept and these quotes stir you, I would really encourage you to check out the rest of the book.  This is just scratching the surface - I've got stars and underlines all over my book.  I absolutely love the idea of seeking out the good and the beautiful in our world, and I think these are some really helpful thoughts about how to do that.

Day 30: Something You're Passionate About

I am grateful for and passionate about the message in these two songs.  First one (above) - that we are perfectly loved by God.  Second one (below) - that God is with us and is our steady hope in all the ups and downs of life.

This is the final day of the summer gratitude series - I'm grateful to end with this, the biggest and best thing to be grateful for.  Thanks to those of you who have followed along with these.   As I go through many of the same prompts year after year, it's interesting how this becomes a bit of a time capsule, capturing things that are going on in my life right now but that might be completely different five years down the road.  It's fun for me to grab these moments in time and get them down on paper (well, blog), and I hope if any of you are following along privately, that it's having a good effect for you.  And thanks to those who have messaged me with things you're grateful for - I love to hear it, and would welcome more! 

Day 29: A Compliment You Have Received

Today I'm grateful for a compliment from a friend I received earlier this year, after I sent her a care package.  She said, "This is what it looks like when a person knows you really well."  It was nothing fancy - some food and a puzzle book - but they were things that I knew she particularly would like.  As a friend, I try to be someone who sees and understands the person well - but I don't always hit the mark.  So it makes me grateful when a person feels seen by me, and it also makes me grateful when they take the time to say so.  

Day 28: Something that Brings Hope

I was talking to my sister about her grad program, and she mentioned something that one of her professors said:  in relationships, we all have two questions - 1) "Do I matter?" and 2) "How much?"  That has really stuck in my head, and as I think about close relationships of all kinds, and what has made them go better and worse, what's been at the root of conflict, it's amazing how often this plays a big part in it.  It's made me think about whether I'm managing my time and energy to prioritize the people that matter to me, and whether I'm communicating this to them in a way that is meaningful to them (and here I'll add, three cheers for love languages and personality typing to help me better learn what is meaningful to my people that might be different than what's meaningful to me).  I'm not consistently good at this - I don't think any of us are - but it's helpful to now have these questions as a mental checkpoint.

So why is this something that brings me hope?

Because I can look to my faith to get the most deep, consistent, fulfilling, needful dose of "yes" to the questions, "Do I matter?" and "How much?"  The Bible is filled from start to finish with promises of God's love for us and stories about His faithfulness to these promises.  It tells me that I matter.  And for the question how much, it describes how the Father gave His Son to die because He loves us so much.  There's no greater love than this.  When I remember that I matter in the deepest way in the most important relationship in my life for all eternity, this brings incredible hope and gratitude.