Day 19: Health

I am thankful for antibiotics. This one also probably could've gone in the "something you take for granted" category - that it is exceedingly unlikely that I will die this year from any kind of infection that responds to antibiotics. I don't have to worry that much about cuts, bites, or even most bacterial infections. I didn't have to worry that much about post-surgical infections for Josh (and he had many, with metal devices coming of his head right as he was at the handsy stage of late baby / young toddlerhood). All these things were potential killers even for young and healthy people before the discovery of antibiotics. I'm grateful for the way this increased lifespan and decreased suffering. I understand that antibiotic resistance is becoming a problem, and I am grateful that there are smart people working on this problem.

I'm grateful for people who devote their lives to science and medicine, who are right now working towards finding the next big medical breakthrough that will alleviate or eradicate diseases that are plaguing people now.

Day 18: The Weather

 

I am so grateful for the feeling of running in the rain. My first memories of running in the rain are from high school, when during track practice our coach would motivate us to run miles through the freezing rain by saying, "Columbus (a rival high school) isn't running through the rain!", planting the idea that doing a difficult thing would make you a better and stronger competitor. So the first thing I love about it is the idea of facing adversity and running straight into it, head down, with determination. 

Second, and somewhat opposite of that first thought, I love how running through the rain feels like freedom. There's something about rain hitting your face that feels like abandon, like the rules of how things are supposed to be have been removed. It's refreshing and surprising and usually when I get done with running through the rain for a few miles, my face hurts from smiling. Cheers to running in the rain!

Day 17: Something You Take for Granted

 I'm grateful that so far in life, I have not yet had to mourn the loss of someone in my closest circle (such as a parent, sibling, child, partner, or close friend). I do think about this sometimes - when others I know lose someone close to them, when there is a health emergency, when my mind is in an anxiety spiral late at night - but in general, I take for granted that the people I love most are all here. This is uncomfortable to write about and I'm sure it must be uncomfortable / painful for some to read about, but I think at least occasionally acknowledging the reality of death can make me more grateful for what a privilige it is to still have the ability to talk to, hug, buy gifts for, laugh with, have vacations with, experience all the highs and lows of life with, my nearest and dearest.

Day 16: Simple Things in Life

A simple thing in life I'm grateful for is cooking dinner. I'm grateful that we were designed in such a way that we get so much of our health, sustenance, social time, and enjoyment from meals. I'm grateful that cooking can be so many things - a way to zone out and process the day while also being useful; a chance to be bold and creative if you're in that kind of mood, or routine and by the book if you're in that kind of mood; a boredom killer; a memory to do together with your children. I'm grateful for the variety of textures and colors and tastes and the endless ways they can be combined to make a tasty meal. I'm grateful for the smell of simmering onions and garlic. I'm grateful for the provision of a kitchen, cooking utensils, and money to buy groceries week after week. 

Day 15: Things You Like About Spring

I am so thankful for flowers in the spring. I am thankful for the green and the bright pops of color. I'm thankful for the sign of new life, as the plants show they are alive again after the dormant period of winter. I'm thankful for how the world feels so fresh and new and abundant and full of promise in the spring. 

Day 14: A Talent You Have

 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLAh6R4i2jt/?igsh=dHhnd2N0dWxkeGdt

My talent is the same as the person in this link: car singer. What is lacked in excellent singing voice is made up for in passion. I'm thankful for whoever invented car radios, I'm thankful for music, and I'm grateful for the private traveling space of a car to let out some pent-up energy and emotion.

Day 13: A Challenge You've Overcome

 I'm thankful to have overcome the challenge of going back to work as a lawyer after being a stay at home mom for 13 years. Nobody goes to law school expecting to spend a substantial part of your working years NOT working as a lawyer. I've written in numerous other places on this blog about how I'm grateful for the opportunity to have had so much time with my kids in their young years and grateful for the privilege that it was even an option available to us. The thing I didn't write about was how, as the years stacked up, it felt like an increasingly impossible thing to jump back into the workforce. I wasn't sure if anyone would give me a chance with that kind of gap in work history and I wasn't sure they *should* give me the chance after that long away. I was nervous knowing that, like most professional jobs, you are bearing a pretty good load of trust, responsibility, and expected knowledge right away. After we got into double digits years of my time at home, I honestly didn't know if I'd ever go back to work, at least as a lawyer. Thanks be to God, the perfect opportunity came along that allowed me to use skills I already had and that fit into the life we wanted to keep. Also thanks be to God, He got me through those first few months that only in hindsight can I admit to myself how hard that transition was. I'm thankful to have made it through, to have my lawyer mind and confidence back, to have bridged the gap that for so long felt unbridgeable.

Day 12: Your Favorite Personality Trait

 Okay, I admittedly skipped "5 things you like about you" because that is just not the purpose for which I'm doing this challenge, however I'll participate with one. This year, I'm grateful that there's an adventurous streak in me. It's wrapped up in a bundle with other traits like shyness, protective mother, and cautious lawyer, so that sometimes it gets overruled and often it surprises people. But it totally lights me up to get to see a new place, try a new activity, have a new experience -- and if there's some element of challenge to it, all the better. It is absolutely part of the fun of things if you're checking out a new lake and this includes driving down an extremely bumpy road and going out of cell service; if your vacation involves navigating public transportation in a different language; if your race involves a 2 am leg out in the middle of nowhere. That makes the thing MORE appealing, not less. I'm thankful that this streak helps me overcome some of the aforementioned things that I don't love as much about myself.

Day 11: Someone Who Inspires You

 The savvy readers among you will notice that I skipped a few days -- this challenge has 52 prompts, so I'm going to skip some here and there, but will try to mostly skip those that don't work as well for a blog post rather than taking this as a free ticket to avoid everything that makes me uncomfortable.

Back to today's prompt: someone who inspires you. The first person that pops into my head is a foster care provider who focuses specifically on providing housing for youth who are likely going to age out of the foster care system. This person and his staff provide not just a room and some meals, but he really invests himself in these youth. He provides them with structure, guidance, and support. He helps prepare them with the soft and hard skills they will need as they move into the adult world. He encourages them to take their education seriously, helps prepare them for how to get a job, and encourages them in all hobbies and interests that go beyond video games. He advocates for these kids with the different adults in their lives. This is an extremely needed, extremely underserved, extremely important role, and it's not an easy one to do day in and day out. I'm inspired by and thankful for this person. 

Day 7: A Friend #1

 

I am grateful for my friend Monica. Monica is a friend I met in a Bible study for special needs parents, when both of our oldest kids were in early elementary school. It's always so nice to form a friendship with someone else who understands the special needs life, knowing what it's like to attend all the appointments, research supplements and therapies and treatments, and try to figure out the right educational situation. Who deals every day with sleep, eating, and behavior concerns. Who understands if you're late or if you have to cancel last minute or if you arrive to a get together in a state of falling apart. That alone is enough to make me really value this friendship. But on top of that, Monica is also really funny and caring and smart, and has interesting opinions and ideas about all sorts of things - she's fun to talk to. We share the same faith. She's always up for adventures. And she's not afraid to be honest and vulnerable. I'm so grateful for this friendship.

Day 6: The City You Live In

I am so grateful for the high desert climate of Reno. I love how we get all four seasons, very distinctly - we get the flowers in spring, blazing hot days in summer, autumn leaves, and snow in winter. But it's also very moderated - even on the hottest summer days, you can get very comfortable temperatures if you go outside in the early morning or evening. And on the coldest summer days, you can usually still get some warmth and sunshine going out right in the middle of the day. This is nothing like how the Midwest and East Coast experience the extreme parts of the year. It's dry, which especially in the summer means you're not dripping with sweat starting the moment you roll out of bed, and mosquitoes don't do nearly as well here as in other climates. It's sunny like 300 days a year. It's beautiful with mountains all around. For all these reasons, people love to get outside all year round, and I am also grateful for that about Reno. 

Day 5: Something Someone Gave You

I am thankful for my daughters' Mother's Day gifts this year. For the first two weeks in May this year, we travelled to Paris. A month ahead of time, the girls realized that this trip would include Mother's Day and planned ahead enough to order an Eiffel tower necklace and blanket and then bring them in their suitcases to Paris so that they could give them to me on Mother's Day. (To be fully accurate, I didn't let Zoey bring the blanket because (without knowing what it was for) I saw that it was taking up like half of her suitcase and vetoed it, but she had fully intended to use half her suitcase to bring me a gift.) I am so grateful at their thoughtfulness and kindness to put this level of planning into getting a gift so far ahead of time, which was on theme for what was happening that month, and then thinking to transport it halfway around the world.

Day 4: Family Member

 One of the things about doing the gratitude challenge year after is that it turns into somewhat of a time capsule - so even though I repeat certain things year after year, the details of it can really change over time. So for this prompt, I'm going to write something I'm grateful about for each of my 3 kids in their current age / stage.

Josh: I'm grateful for his curiosity. I love when I ask him a question, like what would happen if the moon crashes into the earth, thinking it will totally blow his mind. And then he answers me in such a way that it's clear he's already given this tons of thought and here are theories A, B, and C - and blows my mind. Josh has a really searching, probing mind - he loves to learn - and it's so fun to watch this take shape as he goes through the teenage years.

Zoey: I'm grateful for how thoughtful she is becoming. It's not easy being a sensitive person whose natural tendency is to be in your own head, thinking and overthinking (i say because i know this tendency well). But I love how I see her noticing things that other miss, writing a note to someone that makes them feel really seen, providing a kindness that others may not have noticed was needed. Relatedly, I'm grateful for what a good writer she is, and I'm grateful that writing is an outlet for so many feelings.

Ivy: I'm grateful for her playfulness. She is always up for a silly moment, a dance party, or a wrestling match. She tends to say goodbye to her friends sumo style, hugging them and then lifting them off the ground. She loves parties and holidays and get togethers with friends. I'm grateful for our most social family member (although Josh is gaining rapidly in this area and also loves all these things).

Day 3: Family

 I love how this challenge gives a day to the concept of family, as well as then giving additional days for you to be thankful for particular family members. I'm very very thankful for my family of 5, for the family I grew up in, and for the family I married into, but today I want to have a more general concept-of-family thankfulness in two areas.

First, my work gives me reason all the time to be thankful for the way people step up in order to create a safe, dependable, loving family for a child who has been removed from their home. The parents who go through treatment and break the gripping addiction for the sake of their kids. The aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins who  are willing to completely alter their life plans to make sure a child in their extended family has a safe and loving home. The foster families who open up their home and make the child a part of their family, not knowing whether the child will be with them short-term or long-term. There's a lot more to say about all of these situations, but for today, I'm thankful for everyone in all of these categories.

Second, I am thankful for the way that God has included us into His family - that when we believe, we are described as adopted children. What a thing!! To be known and loved that intimately by the King of the Universe. To have the kind of relationship that time and difficulty and changed circumstances does not break. To be in a family with God for all of eternity - my mind can't even wrap around it.

Day 2: Spouse

 

I am thankful for many things about Kenny, but the one I want to focus on today is his desire to focus on the things that matter, in what he thinks about, what we talk about, and in how he spends his time and energy. He doesn't like to waste time on small talk, preferring to go in depth but able to do so in a wide variety of topics. He inspires me to think better, and in particular to think about things more deeply. He's good at bringing up challenging questions or thought provoking ideas, whether it's for a group discussion or one-on-one. I really enjoy and admire this, and I'm so grateful for this quality of Kenny's.

Gratitude 2025 Day 1: Why Start this Challenge

I'm starting up another round of seasonal Gratitude Challenge, and as usual, I invite any of you to participate along with me! I'm starting this challenge now for two reasons. The first is very practical - we will be finishing our 3rd year of homeschool next week (whoop whoop!), and summer is typically the time where I have a little more margin in the day to do things like write a blog post. So I'm hoping to get through much of this over the summer.

Second, I can tell my heart is in need of a reorientation towards gratitude. I'm doing too much comparing, too much looking for my identity and worth in the wrong kinds of things, and not enough appreciating all the abundant goodness that exists in my life already. This kind of challenge, where you go through day by day, category by category, is such a good way to try to get the reminder in deep that there is so very much to be thankful for. So for day 1, I'm thankful for this challenge as a tool to promote gratitude!

 

Paris: Thoughts from a First-Time Visitor

If you found your way to this post through Facebook, then you undoubtedly also saw my onslaught of pictures earlier this month from our family trip to Paris. I wanted to write about it mostly for my own memory, but also because a few people have asked for tips on traveling to Paris with kids. I am by no means an expert - this was my first trip to Paris and first international trip with the kids - but maybe being such a newbie will make it easier to remember the questions I had going into the trip. Here are my tips and highlights!

Kid specific tips: 

• Food - is absolutely wonderful!! And at most sidewalk cafes, is pretty kid / American friendly. Everywhere we went, they generally had things that were more of a reach for kids (like escargot or beef tartare), but almost always had a burger or a croque monsieur (hot ham and cheese sandwich) as an option. We have one extremely picky eater so we brought two jars of peanut butter and just always had a peanut butter sandwich stowed away when we were out and about, and none of the restaurants made a fuss about him not eating their food. There are also creperies, bakeries, and pastry shops all over the place, and a picky kid could eat very well off just these stops. 
• Transportation - there is a lot of walking and a lot of stairs - you definitely want to wear comfortable walking shoes and be ready to walk at least 5 miles / 10 flights of stairs per day, if not more. We took the Metro as much as possible and the kids absolutely loved that - helping figure out the routes, rushing on and off the train, trying not to fall over at stops - the whole thing - we all kept our Metro cards as part of the memory of the trip. I would also say that other novel forms of transportation that aren't part of our everyday experience in the States, like taking a double-decker bus tour, a boat ride on the Seine, or a train ride out to Giverny - those were part of the fun of the trip and not just a means to get from Point A to Point B. 
• Language - The French people certainly appreciate if you start every interaction with "Bonjour" and if you learn a few of the very basic phrases - but that said, most Parisians are able to speak at least a little English, enough that you can get directions, make a transaction, or ask where the restroom is. This was not a big or intimidating barrier. And when you need to figure something out, say like, "what is this food at the market?", Smartphones are a big help in bridging that gap. (I will also just add, I was prepared for Parisians to be rude to us as Americans, and we didn't have one single rude interaction - they were polite and kind across the board.) 
• Parks - One of the things I loved about Paris as compared to, say, Manhattan, is that green spaces abound. You don't really have to plan for this - there are cute little squares to rest and enjoy some nature every few blocks. When kids need a break from the crowds or museums to run around or take a bench for a bit, these were not hard to find. And were often an excellent place to people watch. 

Anything to watch out for:

• Huge crowds - this is the main thing. For all the major attractions (Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre, and Versailles especially) -- book tickets ahead, look up tips for the least crowded times to go (which will generally be weekdays and earlier in the morning for a start time), and prepare yourself that these things are going to involve some lines and some crowds even if you do follow the tips. 
• Pickpockets / general safety - I got the impression from Instagram that this was going to be a bigger issue than it seemed to be, not that it's a complete non-issue. Just like in any big city, you watch your purse on very crowded Metro stops or in very crowded and touristy areas. Overall, I never felt unsafe, including going out for walks after dark. 

Favorite parts:

• By far my favorite part was the overall vibe and the abounding beauty everywhere. Not just in the world famous museums and churches, but in all the architecture, the tucked away parks, the way food is served - all of it is beautiful. And there's such an intermingling of history and art and nature and religion that it's hard to say where one stops and the other begins, all of them celebrating the beauty of all the others.
• The food was also a huge highlight. We had a bakery across the street that was a daily stop for fresh bread and shared pastries for dessert. The sidewalk cafes were so cute. 
• Museums: 
• D'Orsay was my favorite museum and my favorite overall outing of the trip. This museum is set in a beautiful old train building and focuses on art from the late 1800s / early 1900s - so they have an amazing impressionist collection (with many Van Goghs and Monets), lots of sculptures, and lots of other really great paintings.
• The Louvre - world famous for a reason. The breadth and scope of the museum as a whole was both amazing and to me a little overwhelming. Would be fun if you lived here to tackle one area at a time over a year - if you're visiting for a day, it's a good idea to come in knowing what you want to see, as you won't be able to see it all. 
• Petit Palace - this one is free, and while not as amazing as the two listed above, is well worth a stop if you find yourself with an extra couple hours. Has paintings from a similar era to D'Orsay and is also in a beautiful building. 
• Cathedrals: 
• Sainte Chappelle - this was the most surprising - you walk up a very narrow spiral stone staircase like you're in a secret passageway in Harry Potter, and then all of a sudden enter into this room that is glowing, surrounded by towering stained glass, takes your breath away.
• Notre Dame and Sacre Coure - beautiful, majestic, massive in scale - lots of scenes from the Bible laid out in murals, stonework, paintings, and stained glass in all 3 cathedrals.
• Monuments: 
• Eiffel Tower at night - after dark, not only is the Eiffel Tower lit up, but for the first five minutes of every hour, it sparkles. This was magical and one of my favorite moments of the trip.  
• Going up it was fun for our first time trip, but I wouldn't repeat that - mostly because of the crowds, but also because the most iconic part of the Paris skyline from above is the Eiffel Tower, which you're not really seeing when you're in it. 
• We saw the Arc de Triomphe from the ground but didn't go up it - if we did a return trip, I would probably go up this one rather than the Eiffel Tower for a change of pace.
• Day Trips: 
• Giverny was my favorite day trip; it was crowded, but the beautiful lily garden and the view from Monet's window were stunning and worth it.
• Versailles was absolutely worth seeing, but the crowds (especially inside) were overwhelming - if I went back, would spend most of the time outdoors in the Gardens (and would rent a golf cart to be able to get to the far reaches). 
• Favorite neighborhoods to stroll: 
• Montmarte (Sacre Cour steps, Artist's Square, "I love you" wall, and artistic shops; take note that if you decide to walk down towards Moulin Rouge, there are tons of sex shops in the blocks immediately around it)
• Latin Quarter - The oldest part of Paris, close to Notre Dame, has narrow old streets; also has Shakespeare and Co. bookstore
• Les Marais -  Some fun places to see in this neighborhood: Place des Voges, Museum Carnavalet, and Marche Des Enfants Rougest (a food market)
• Saint Germain Des Pres - Luxembourg Gardens, Pantheon, lots of bookstores

I could go on and on, but I'm guessing this is more than enough for most :). We had a wonderful time, kids included, and I would highly recommend this as a family trip. If you're planning a trip and want to hear more about any of the above, feel free to message me. Happy travels!

Easter Reflection

This year, as I think about the Easter story, my mind keeps going towards the hours of the Last Supper followed by Jesus' arrest, and about three characters in particular: Judas, Jesus, and Peter. How the things they loved most formed their character and led them down their particular path. And how the Easter story speaks to all of us who identify most closely with Peter.

First, looking at Jesus - this is the path of loving others. He spends his last night before death washing everyone's feet, including Judas (!!).  He tells His disciples that they should be servants and that they should love one another, and He shows them how it's done. He willingly allows Himself to be arrested, knowing that this would be followed by death, doing it all motivated by love for His Father and love for humanity.

Second, looking at Judas - this is the path if you get caught up in the here and now, money, and only looking out for yourself. He sells out one of his closest friends, a man he greatly admired, for a small sum of money. This results in him losing all his friends, his life ending in disgrace, and his name remaining synonymous thousands of years later with the worst kind of betrayal. 

It is clear, looking at these two, which is the path of light and beauty and goodness, and which is the path of darkness and destruction. But as I think about myself, it's also clear that I don't live up to this example set by Jesus. I'm having a good day if I act like a servant towards those I love most dearly. If someone crosses my kids, or cuts me off in traffic, or makes work more difficult, the LAST thing I want to do is show them love and kindness, let alone lay down my life for them. (Of course you should still protect your kids, give someone a warning honk if they're driving dangerously, and zealously advocate for your clients or however it applies in your workplace - the problematic part is the simmering bitterness after the fact, the attitude of "How dare someone treat me that way?", the temptation to treat that person badly after the danger of the situation has passed.) I aspire to the beautiful attitude of Jesus, but I'm never remotely close to attaining it. This is why there's also great comfort in looking at Peter's role in this story. 

Looking at Peter - throughout the gospel accounts, he has lots of confusion but also great enthusiasm and love for Jesus. At the time of Jesus' arrest, Peter's ready to go to battle for Jesus, even cutting off a soldier's ear. (Again, confused about the right way to act, but with the best intentions.) Then, when Jesus is arrested and everyone scatters - and he is now exhausted, alone, devastated, and probably questioning everything - Peter acts like a coward and denies Jesus three times. When the rooster crows and he realizes what he has done, he weeps bitterly. He doesn't feel good about how he's conducted himself, he still has faith, but he's had a few hours where he acted in a way that all of us understand and none of us want to be like. The coward, the one who breaks down when the going gets hard, the one who needs his Lord because he's not strong enough on his own. This is a character I can identify with. 

And this is the person on whom the Lord builds His church. The important thing about Peter isn't whether he maintained a standard of perfection all the time - because he definitely didn't; he was impulsive, confused, and cowardly at times - the important thing was that he consistently maintained his faith, he consistently turned back to the path of following Jesus. The good news of Easter is that this is all we need to do - Jesus has defeated death, it is finished. And we can be part of this, even on our worst days, by putting our faith in this good news.

Happy Easter to all!

Thoughts on Kids Getting Older

I saw this meme on Instagram and it made me think about a variety of things, so thought I'd do a grab bag blog on our children getting older:

• It's good advice to savor the young years; older kids do move towards independence: My kids are now ages 14, 12, and 8, and so I can now agree with the above from experience - you do see a turn as kids hit the tween years. They are more content to spend time in their room rather than be by your side at all times, more eager to connect with friends, and much less bursting to share every last thought and feeling with parents. I have a heightened appreciation with our youngest that we are in our last few years of cuddles and reading picture books and having pretend play and receiving "I love you" notes on days that are not a designated holiday. This is all right and good, kids are supposed to grow and change and develop and move towards independence, but man it is also bittersweet.
• This is one of the very best things about homeschool: Part of what the meme above refers to is the choice of kids to retreat to their friends and their room, but part of it is an acknowledgement that as school and activities and friendships and sports and work ramp up, there are fewer hours spent every year at home. A huge, huge blessing of homeschool is all the time we continue to get as a family. Even with the kids fully in the world of activities and me back to work, we still get to spend hours together every day on school, eat most meals together, and spend whatever downtime presents itself together. I am so grateful for these bonus hours in the teen years.
• How's it going mixing homeschool and work? We've now been homeschooling with me returned to practicing law half-time for a year, and I think overall it's going well. Some weeks are absolutely crazy, but balanced out over time, it's a manageable crazy. I love my job and also still really enjoy homeschooling, so that helps propel all of it along. We still do a curriculum where I'm the primary teacher, but the kids are able to do more independent work at this point.   Outside of school hours, to their joy and somewhat to my chagrin, they do get more screen time than they used to - no more 1,000 hours outside. (Although I do hope to move school back outside with the return of spring weather!) And I'm grateful to grandparents and church groups for giving me some help with child care and transportation to events. As far as whether we will continue to homeschool - it's a yearly decision. Right now it's working well; each summer, we re-examine what works best for each kid and the family as a whole. 
• It's different with special needs: The numbers in this meme are going to look very different for parents of children with special needs, and this also brings a mix of feelings. Part of the assumption in this number is that kids will do things like get a driver's license, move out, and start their own independent life. For kids with special needs, this path often looks different - there will likely be a greater level of parent-child interconnectedness into adulthood. I don't want to comment too specifically on our situation, mostly because I don't want to place any limits on what time will bring, as J continues to achieve things that I wouldn't have guessed possible in the early years.  But I am trying to mentally prepare myself that as same-aged peers are thinking about jobs and college applications and first apartments, that our path is likely going to be different on those things. I do feel a greater level of peace after watching things play out over time that whatever J's adult life looks like, it will be good. God has taken care of him and of us through so much, and I feel confident that He will continue to do so.

So those are some of my thoughts about our current stage of life! Always love to hear comments from folks.

Perfect Is The Enemy of Good: A Food Post

It must be pointed out that the foods on the right are made up of ingredients as well.

I was recently introduced to the idea that some households are "ingredients" households and some households are "snacks" households. The idea is that ingredients households only stock unprocessed foods in the kitchen - if you want something like a granola bar or a cracker, it needs to be made at home from scratch. Whereas snacks households buy things that are already pre-made and processed, ready to be eaten as soon as they're home from the store.

When I look at this picture above, we have a lot from both categories in our kitchen after a grocery trip. So what to make of that? Here's my thoughts on the "ingredients v. snacks" line of thought.

(Note that this post is meant to be an encouragement for people who try to feed themselves and their families in a fairly healthy way but do not stick to a totally pure diet. I'm not trying to attack or engage debate with those who fall outside of this group, such as those who are on a pure diet and thriving, or those for whom getting any kind of food on the table is a struggle and parsing at this level is not manageable. If this is you, I would suggest that you stop reading this post now and just keep going with what's working for you.)

Some is Better than None on both Healthy and Homemade

We eat at home most nights, and our dinners are usually a mix of made from scratch and obtained from a package. Some examples of things that come out of a package every time for us and that are regular staples in our meals, are all kinds of bread, salad dressing, and rice pilaf. These usually go alongside some kind of meat and some kind of vegetables, and those things are usually prepared from scratch.

I know that some of these things only take a few extra minutes (salad dressing), while others are more of a lifestyle commitment (bread). Either way, I've found that the reality of life with kids is that you don't have a few extra minutes. With babies and toddlers, they generally need your attention at all waking moments, which overlaps 100% with meal preparation time. Now that we have school aged kids, I'm generally squeezing dinner prep in between finishing work and transporting to youth sports events. There are no extra minutes, every short cut matters, and I'm extremely grateful for the processed shortcuts that still allow us to eat together and at home most nights. And even if I had all the time in the world, I'm grateful that I don't have to use it to churn butter, milk cows, gather eggs, and harvest my own fruits and vegetables. There are already countless hours that go to planning meals, buying food, prepping food, and cleaning up after food. Thanks be to God for every time saver in the process.

Everything in Moderation

This is something that my family growing up modeled for me and I'm extremely grateful for that. It's a lot more sustainable to eat from all categories of food in a moderate way than to put full restrictions on whole categories. Here are some of the principles my parents followed that I also try to follow:

• Eat the healthy stuff first (particularly fruits and vegetables before sugar snacks), then you won't end up eating as much of the less healthy stuff.
• It's okay if there are ups and downs with the healthiness of particular meals. Some nights it's lean meat and vegetables, other nights it's pizza. I try to mix these within the week, recognizing that the meat and veggies meal brings more health value, while the pizza brings more joy.
• Eating not at a restaurant is likely already putting you ahead of the game on health, even if every single item is processed - it's likely still lower in saturated fat, salt, and sugar, with a smaller portion size. (And eating at a restaurant sometimes is good too, it's healthy to incorporate enjoyment and celebration in life!)

• 

  Officially taller than me now!

Special Circumstances

Let me tell you what it's like to feed a teenage boy who's going through a huge growth spurt (around 8 inches / 25 pounds in the last year), but still has an extremely restricted diet due to his food aversions. He is hungry literally all the time. He goes through around 50 bananas a week, 30 each of apples and oranges, and countless strawberries and grapes. His appetite is at the peak it will ever be in his lifetime, and I can't meet his calorie requirements through fruit and peanut butter sandwiches alone. This means he also goes through quite a lot of Chips Ahoy cookies and other snacks like that, probably way more than I know :). This is what we need to do to keep him healthy and growing, even though there is no nutritional site on the planet that's going to recommend this.

I always think first of our special circumstances, but I know special food needs come in many varieties, and until you've lived in and cooked for a household like this, you can't fully appreciate the magnitude with which you embrace any food from any category that will work for your restricted eater. I am grateful for all the foods, both natural and processed, that have kept Josh on his growth trajectory.

All the Good that Comes from Eating together

If it wasn't for processed food shortcuts, many families would not be able to pull off family dinners nearly as often as they can now. The good that comes from family meals is not just the health value of the food items on the table. There is huge value in the conversation that happens over the table. The eye contact, the laughs, the sharing. It creates family bonding and allows for the expressing of love and understanding. The more we can support family dinners in a way that works for busy, modern families, the better.

Conclusion

I agree with the idea that food is medicine and I don't mean to throw all healthy eating principles under the bus. But our society can get pretty all-or-nothing with healthy eating habits, making you feel that if you don't execute things to perfection, then there's no use making any efforts towards a healthy lifestyle. I think we should approach it exactly the opposite way. Celebrate the wins! Celebrate all the healthy food that you do get prepared and all the times that you do eat together as a family. Don't let all-or-nothing thinking derail your mood or your efforts. Bon appetit!