I traditionally write a gratitude blog in November, but, not gonna lie, I'm really struggling to do it this year. A quick scroll through any news site, any social media feed, or any lived experience of the year 2020 will give you ample reason to question doing the grateful thing this year. But that is exactly, exactly, when we (and I'm putting myself at the top of that list) MOST need to work through the discipline of gratitude.
Why is gratitude important during hard times?
1. I'm guessing for many of us, anxiety has been a heightened feature of 2020 (see, e.g., global pandemic and presidential election). I'm a seasoned worrier, waaaay before 2020 (before parenting, even, but that kicked it into a much higher gear :). One of the best ways to address anxiety is through thankfulness.
In Philippians (verse pictured below), the equation is Pray + Gratitude = Peace. You give your worries over to God, remember all the things you have to be thankful for, and receive the peace that passes understanding. What a beautiful, sought after gift! (Especially for us Enneagram 9s...)
2. Another thing that's prominent in my mind and heart when times are tough is complaints. I'm not saying that there's not a time and place for getting things off your chest, but at some point, your whole life perspective parks itself mostly in complaint or mostly in gratitude. While it takes some work to pivot away from complaints and find gratitude in hard times, it's definitely a more pleasant place to dwell.
What does gratitude look like in a year like this?
- Remembering the affirmative good things in your life, as specifically as possible - especially in terms of people. Through 2020, through times when Josh had lots of hospitalizations - it's your family that walks through it with you, the people that think to bring you food, to send a text, to make the phone call, to make the (positive) Facebook comment - that keep you going. Also, whatever other things are helping you get through: songs, books, adult coloring books?, a stunning sunset, your pet, and the list goes on...
- Spiritual blessings, which will always hold even through the hardest of times (and will often mean the most during these times): things like God's love, mercy, and faithfulness. It's also helpful to remember the verses promising that trials can help strengthen our endurance, character, and hope. (See Romans 5.)
- Adjusting perspective: yesterday I was feeling a bit annoyed to be picking up take-out, in a mask, yet again, rather than going out to a restaurant - but WHAT A THING that restaurants prepare food for us; that in Reno, NV, we can be ordering food from many different parts of the world (birria tacos was our food of choice yesterday); that we have a warm house where we can enjoy this food safely; and that we have the money to purchase this food. When you think through all of these things, and think about how much harder and/or a bummer it would be if any one of these things wasn't true, it's hard not to be grateful.
What is it not?
Gratitude should never involve a denial of reality. So, for example, it doesn't mean:
- Pretending to be okay when you're not.
- Forgoing laments when you experience real sadness
- Not speaking up on behalf of the marginalized
It doesn't mean you should deny, ignore, or repress the hard parts of life, on behalf of yourself or others. It means that, even as you walk through the hard times (maybe especially as you walk through the hard times?), it helps to remember all you have to be thankful for.
What about having a sense of humor?
This is great! Humor is also a great way to adjust perspective, and it's one more thing to be thankful for. The Nevada memes got me through election week. Here's my favorite 2020 meme I've seen this week, for which I'm grateful:
I would love to hear some things you're grateful for, friends! Sending love to you in this weird, memorable, 2020 Thanksgiving month.
