Day 21: I Have Grown in these ways

When I first saw this prompt yesterday, my thought process went something like this:  First thought - "I haven't grown in any ways" (the classic female underselling of self); second thought - "C'mon, think harder"; third thought, "I've probably grown less selfish with raising kids, so I think I'll write about that."

So I'm all set to write about what a selfless saint I've grown into, and then we had a morning where everyone seemed to have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.  Leading the pack in grumpiness and impatience was me.  And with that kind of morning, I can't in good conscience write about how kids have made me so selfless.  They've made me more *aware* of my selfishness.  They occasionally allow me to entertain the illusion that I've grown less selfish, like if all the stars align and I get 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep and then I have a little extra patience and love to spare. 

So if I haven't grown (much) in selflessness, then how am I answering the prompt for the day?  I think I've grown in the belief that God's mercies are new every morning.  As the days of my life march on, and as the demands grow and my own capacity to handle every person and every situation well falls short, I realize how weak I am and how much I need new mercies with every passing morning.  I believe that they're there, and I'm so profoundly grateful for it.   

P.S.  An area where I've grown in only the tiniest ways and I hope to grow in enormous ways is to trust God with control of my children's lives.  Here's a great podcast about what that looks like.