Books I Read in 2022

Welcome to my annual favorite books blog!  I look forward to this one all year - it's fun to remember favorite books from the last year, and it's fun to hear from you about what you also enjoyed.  Here's pics of the books I read in 2022 (thanks Goodreads!), and here's a link if you want to learn more about any of them. Scroll down to see the list in writing!

First, I want to give a shout out to libraries.  Libraries, we love you!  I counted, and 47 of my books were library books this year.  And this doesn't count the many dozens of picture books we've checked out to supplement all the homeschool subjects, or cookbooks I previewed before buying, or (new this year!) sheet music that I attempted to play before realizing it was way beyond my abilities.  It also doesn't quantify all the story times we attended when the kids were toddlers, the craft projects and art displays and therapy dog visits we've happened upon when stopping by, and the warmth of the friendly librarians who make all of this happen.  Thank you, librarian workers, for all you do for our communities, and thank you libraries for the plentiful supply of books.

Now, we turn to my favorite books of the year!  I want to add - every book that appears above I would give a thumbs up in one way or another.  I quit early on if a book's not hitting for me, so if it makes it on the "read" list, then there was something compelling about it.  And I would be thrilled to discuss any of them, above or below.  Having said that, these are the ones that stayed with me the most.  Here we go...

Middle grade:

"The Silver Chair" and "The Last Battle" by C.S. Lewis

"Pony" by R.J. Palacio

"From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" by E.L. Konsburg

"The Ickabog" by J.K. Rowling

Books I'm still Thinking About:

"Even Better Than Eden" by Nancy Guthrie

"Why God Makes Sense In A World that Doesn't" by Gavin Ortlund

"The Brave Learner" by Julie Bogart

"The Tech Wise Family" by Andy Crouch

"Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius

"Out of the Silent Planet" and "Peralandra" by C.S. Lewis

Favorite books where you get swept up in the story:

"Illusion of Control" and "Loyal 2 Chaos" by Kenny Ching

"Greenwood" by Michael Christie

"Love and Saffron" by Kim Fay

"Remarkably Bright Creatures" by Shelby Van Pelt

"Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century" by Kim Fu

Amazing Writing:

"A River Runs Through It" by Norman Maclean (specifically the first story)

"To Bless the Space Between Us" by John O'Donohue

"One Long River of Song" by Brian Doyle

"The Power and the Glory" by Graham Greene

"Small Things Like These" by Claire Keegan

One Miscellaneous Other That I Really Liked:

"What I Talk About When I Talk About Running" by Haruki Murakami

These are my favorites of the last year!  Please tell me if you've read any of these and what you thought, and also what books you've read recently that you loved.

Light in Darkness

It's time for the annual Advent post!  I want to start off by saying, thank you to all of you who read this blog.  Like for many of you, our holiday season gets pretty crazy, and most of the thoughts that run through my head are more of the "to do list" type than the "reflection" type.  (Like:  "Are Christmas cards still 40% off?  Did I get the right shade of lipstick for Ivy's holiday recital?  Did I get the white elephant gift for this gathering, make the cookies for that one?  What events will make this holiday season fun for the kids?!?"  Etc.)  It's easy to lose the forest for the trees, and so it's a gift to have this space to do a little reflection, and it's an even bigger gift to have people to share it with.  

This year, my Advent thoughts keeping turning to the idea of light in darkness.  So much of life can feel like darkness.  There's the times of waiting - for a diagnosis, for a job offer or a turn in finances, for answers.  There's the times of longing - for a partner or child or friendship, for a difficult situation to resolve, for physical and emotional pain to ease.  There's times of loss - death of loved ones, end of relationships, big changes that we did not choose.  It's hard to see the way forward, and it can feel like grasping around in a dark room.  

But it's in the darkness that light is so powerful.  I notice a full moon, or a sky full of stars, or a candle in a dark room, or the lantern in the tent, more than I take note of the blazing noontime sun.  It's the contrast - even a little light changes the scene entirely.  We notice and appreciate light more when it's breaking up darkness, rather than when it's adding on to an already well lit area, and what a beautiful thing the longed for light is.  

And then I think about how much light in darkness there is in the Christmas story.  There's the brilliant star that guides the wise men on their journey to see baby Jesus.  There's a multitude of angels that appear brightly in the night sky to announce the news to the shepherds.  These things to symbolize the biggest, most glorious, most hope filled light that Christmas brings:  God coming near, becoming human, in the form of a baby boy.  This baby fulfilling so many prophesies, bringing the answer to so many longings, relieving so much time in darkness.  That baby growing into a man, experiencing the darkness of this world with us, experiencing pain and loss and rejection of the deepest kind.  And through an excruciating death, followed by the resurrection and defeat of death and darkness, bringing the light of salvation.

If you're in a season that feels like grasping and longing - like darkness - I hope that the light of the Christmas season shines extra bright for you this year.  And for all of us, I hope that even amidst the hustle bustle, that there are moments where we see the beautiful light in darkness.

Thankfulness for God's promises

Every November, I do a post that relates to gratitude.  This year, I'm writing about thankfulness for God's promises, along with an idea to try in your prayer life.  (This is inspired by my friend and mentor Kim, who's been the inspiration for half of my posts this year :).  

Normally, I approach prayer something like this:  I pray through a list of requests about things that are going on in my life, or things that are going on for my family and friends, or things that are going on in the world.  If I'm having a good day, I will throw in a few thank yous, praises, and confessions, but that's a whole separate part of the prayer.  The idea to try is this:  combine thankfulness for God's promises WITH your list of prayer requests.

What does this look like?  Let's say I'm feeling anxious.  I would say, "Thank you, Lord, that you give us peace that passes understanding, and I pray for that peace in this anxiety provoking situation."

Other examples of promises where you can combine thankfulness with requests:

• God is near to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:18) - I pray this one for people who have recently suffered loss of a loved one or are struggling in a relationship.
• God daily bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19) - I pray this one particularly for those with a disability or chronic pain / illness, or who are caretakers for someone with a disability or chronic illness.
• God is working all for our good (Romans 8:28) - I pray this for friends who are feeling discouraged or stuck, or are in a hard situation.  
• God strengthens us (Isaiah 40:31) and gives us rest (Matthew 11:28-30) - I pray this for friends who are feeling exhausted by work, responsibilities, or life circumstances.
• God gives us peace (John 14:27) - I pray this for those who struggle with anxiety and depression.
• God gives us wisdom (James 1:5) - I pray this for friends who are looking for guidance or trying to figure things out.  
• God loves us (this is throughout the Bible, but i love this one:  Zephaniah 3:17) - I pray this for those who are feeling unloved or who don't know God's love.  
• God is with us (Psalm 23) - I pray this for those who are feeling lonely, or like they are facing something too big for them alone.  (Also a perfect one to think about heading into Advent season!)

And I pray these for myself, because I need to hear these promises too.

What was the result?

I have to admit that I was skeptical whether a change in prayer format would make any difference.  Probably like many of you who have made it this far into the post, I regularly read and think about these promises, and it didn't seem like it would make that much difference to switch the order of things around.  

However, I gave it a try for a week, and this is what happened:  A more faith-filled, joyful prayer life!  Why?  First, it ensured that I was regularly meditating on the promises of God, rather than just getting to it when I have plenty of time and motivation.  Starting with a reminder of all the good that God is working all the time is so encouraging.  And to go with the theme of Thanksgiving month -- it causes gratitude for all the goodness we're already basking in, all the time, and usually without even noticing.  Second, it makes you think (and sometimes think hard) about how the promises of God link up with the difficulties of life - and once you've made that connection, it stays, and it continues to encourage.  

I've gone back to praying in my previous style - just saying requests rather than turning them into a gratitude - but even having done my prayers like this for a short time has really changed my thought process.  I'm much more often remembering the promises that link up to those requests at the close of my prayer time, and this is an encouragement and a faith boost.  I would encourage all of you to give it a try!

Happy Thanksgiving!

There's a Mystery to It

"Pillars of Creation", from James Webb telescope

I've been thinking about wisdom this month, thanks to a challenge from a mentor - reading Proverbs and thinking about what makes a wise person.  I believe that the biggest key to wisdom is to fear God.  But a second, related, hugely important piece is to realize how much you don't know and to come to terms with the huge volume of things you don't understand.  This post is my thoughts on being comfortable with mystery.

1.  Mystery is hard - I like to know things deeply.  If there's something I really care about, I'm going to be Googling, listening to podcasts, and reading books about it.  I'm going to do my best to know that subject inside and out.  If I hit a brick wall in trying to understand a medical condition, or a question about faith, or just whatever it is I'm wanting to learn about, it makes me feel *frustrated*.  Knowing the answers, understanding how things work, feels like power and control and reassurance.  Not knowing feels like weakness and ineptitude.  It's humbling - not like in the way famous people say they are humbled to receive this award - but like in the way where you are taken down several notches.    

2.  Mystery is reality - there are things we will never understand.  Millions of them, if we really start to think about it.  Our human brains are limited.  Just like our eyes don't have the ability to perceive the full spectrum of color, and our ears can't detect the full range of sound, our brains don't have the facts, the frameworks, or the processing ability to know it all.  This has been known for the entire history of humanity, but I think because we live in this information age with the Internet giving us access to exponentially more information than ever before, it might be easier for us to deny our limits.  But there are so many mysteries in the hows and whys of life, so many questions that Google can't answer, and it's a good thing to be reminded of this truth.    

Pluto!, from James Webb telescope

3.  Mystery is exciting - Like many, I've been oohing and aahing over each new picture that is released from the James Webb telescope.  We get to see vantage points into space that are (way!) deeper and clearer than ever before - and one of my favorite things about it is, they're so stunningly beautiful!  I've thought about how vast the universe is, and how it all started, and how it all works, but I don't think I ever thought to wonder whether it gets more beautiful the more you see of it.  What a thing, to live in such a beautiful place!  And we're still barely, barely scratching the surface in what we can see.  Isn't it so exciting to think how much universe is out there, and what it might look like, and how we might not yet have seen the beginning of the depths of the beauty?  And isn't it exciting to think that this might be true for all sorts of other things as well - such as the human body, or faith, or eternity.  

4.  Mystery can lead to curiosity, wonder, and gratitude - Life would be pretty boring if everything was known, or if everything even *could* be known.  Instead, there are all these questions that we can bounce around in our heads, that we can try to discover answers to, that lead to more questions and imaginings.  We can be reminded how small we are, how we're just a dot in the time and space continuum and that our knowledge reflects that.  And we can feel awe and gratitude towards the one who DOES know it all, and who keeps it all spinning.  

-----------------------------------------------

This post describes how I think about mysteries in factual and philosophical knowledge, but I want to acknowledge that many of the hardest "hows" and "whys" in life are emotional and relational.  Those are still very hard and very real, but might not fit as well into the excitement / wonder / gratitude boxes.  I do think there is hope in these kind of questions too, in thinking about how we don't understand the whole story - that our hardships now are very real and very painful, but they might be working towards something beautiful in the timeline of eternity that we can't see or know now.  This is an enormous topic that deserves book length treatment and not just a footnote to a blog, but I wanted to recognize that these are a big part of the mysteries that float through all of our minds.

Homeschooling

The latest update in the Ching household is that we are now homeschooling all three kids!  I was going to wait on writing about this for awhile, but I generally write about whatever is taking center stage in my brain, and right now, it's the world of homeschool.  I've been watching others homeschool with interest for a long time, but didn't think it was the right choice for us because public school was going well for our kids, because I had misconceptions about what homeschooling consists of, and because I had misconceptions about how it would go for our family.  But with our oldest two at or approaching middle school age, this seemed like the right time to try It.  I've gotten a much closer look at the world of homeschooling in this last month, and I thought it would be worth writing about what's the draw for me, and things I'm learning as we enter this new world.

Bat walk

What's appealing about homeschool?  We are 6 weeks into our journey, so these ideas are aspirational.  One of the reasons I wanted to wait to write about it was because I know I'm still a green thumb (and I don't want to do a repeat of when I wrote about how easy it is to have three kids, then had to  eat my words a year later) - but this is a great time to set the vision for what I hope it can be, and then refer back on the weeks when it's harder.

• Homeschooling is a good chance to have lots of quality family time - to nurture that bond, to control the environment of your kids, and to let the kids grow up with lots of time around both their parents and siblings.
• It allows you to emphasize what's most important to you both in terms of time spent on certain subjects and how they are taught.
• You can tailor the education more to the needs and interests of each of the individual kids.  
• We can shorten up the school day substantially and allow more time for free play, nature, and art, and have more freedom in the schedule in general.  

Looking for pond creatures

My misunderstandings about homeschool:

• "You need traditional school to be socialized" - I used to wonder how homeschooled kids got socialized, and whether we would all be lonely if we tried it.  Every homeschool family does things differently, so I can't speak for all, but for those who are looking to socialize, there are gatherings available every day of the week.  There are co-ops.  There are park meet-ups and field trips organized on homeschool Facebook pages.  And there are social groups forming all the time - - we are now part of a nature group and an art group.  Many homeschoolers, especially with kids in the 6-12 age group, choose this path in part because they think play should be a bigger part of childhood, so they are very actively incorporating play with other kids as part of their schedule.  (And this is just addressing the 9-3, specific to homeschool part of socialization; like the rest of modern middle class America, there's also all the activities that take place in the afternoon and evening - sports and scouts and church groups and music groups and etc etc etc)
• "You won't have enough time to do the rest of life, or to do anything fun." - I thought we would be pretty shackled to home from the hours of 9-3 Monday through Friday, making our way through workbooks.  This was a multi-part misconception:
• School at home is much shorter - more like 3-4 hours than the 7ish (counting drop off / pick up) of traditional school.  You can do it in just the morning or just the afternoon.  You can do it on a Saturday if you want to use a weekday for something else.  You can go year round and just do 4 days a week.  You can really work it around the rest of life, whatever that looks like for you.  
• When doing actual school hours, you are not just shackled to the table in your house.  The world is your classroom!  Especially for science, social studies, and art / music / humanities, there are so many field trips you can do to make learning hands on.  And even with the subjects that ARE mostly workbook based (I'm looking at you, math), you can throw the workbooks in the car along with a cooler of food and take them with you on an off season lake day.
• "You can't teach well without professional training" - This one I would describe as more of a tradeoff than a complete misconception.  I have no doubt that, given a class size of three and complete freedom of curriculum and content, a professionally trained teacher would do a better job than me, and I think it remains to be seen how my kids do without a professional teacher.  (Teachers, I think you are amazing!  And I am super grateful for the excellent education my two oldest received from you for elementary school!)  But the positive parts of the tradeoff - the tiny class size and the corresponding ability to target precisely to my kids' academic levels, interests, and learning styles; and then getting total freedom to choose the curriculum, and to adjust throughout the year if something isn't working - not to mention, no standardized testing, and no pressure to teach to tests - those are the hugely positive parts of the tradeoff.

Checking out the original Nevada Supreme Court

My misunderstandings about how homeschool would work for our family:

• I thought homeschooling was going to be very hard on me - It is a lot of work!  Just like with distance learning, I'm appreciating teachers in a whole new way.  But once you choose curriculums and get the hang of how to use them, they have done most of the prep work for you.  Once you set the schedule, you just need to follow it.  Once the kids learn the routine, they more or less follow it.  I'm getting used to distributing my time and energy differently, but overall, homeschooling is way more manageable and enjoyable than I thought it might be.
• I was worried about creating a clear separation of home v. school - I used to think that it was important to have school be at school, and have home be the separate soft landing.  There is a great book called "Brave Learner" that helped me shift my mindset on this - one of the beautiful things about homeschool is that you don't separate this all out.  During reading time, the student can sprawl out on their own bed.  If it's a hard day in math, they can get a hug from mom or pet their dog.  If they have a burst of energy, they can take a spontaneous trampoline break; if they're hungry, they can walk 3 steps to the kitchen and grab a snack.  For us, it's been an advantage rather than a disadvantage that there's not a clear separation.  
• I thought we needed to have an IEP - I will probably write a whole separate blog post about this one, once we have a year under our belt, but I want to say two things about this one:  first, this is going to depend hugely on the particular circumstances of the student, and for many students with a disability, it will be a clear choice to stay in public schools with the supports of the IEP.  But for others, homeschooling might allow for exactly the environment and accommodations that your student needs.  It's going well so for us on this front so far, but again, it's too early to write much more.  

Those are my early thoughts about homeschool!  Stay tuned to see how it goes as the year goes on :)

In Support of the Local Church

Today, I'm writing a post about some of the good things about belonging to a local church body.  I've noticed that it's easier to find articles about the negatives than about the positives of church.  I know one reason for this is that there are some who have had deeply painful experiences, and I don't mean to negate or minimize anyone's hurt - I'm sorry if this is you, and if you'd ever like to talk about a story like this, please let me know.  

But I think a second reason we hear negatives over positives is because the positive experiences are more quiet, less splashy - but they build something beautiful over time.  So, I'm going to list out some of the really positive things we've experienced in the local church (at both our current church body, Dayspring, and churches we've been a part of in the past).  I hope this rings true to those of you who are part of a church, and maybe can also be an encouragement to anyone who's been thinking about getting involved in a local church.  

Here we go:

• People pray for you - we all hit hard times in life, wonderful times in life, and uncertain times in life.  It is so, so great to have a group with whom to share the ups and downs, to ask for prayers and to share praises.  Ever since group text became a thing, one of my favorite and best uses of group text is sharing prayer requests and praises with people from my church.
• People know you and check in with you - This follows partly from sharing prayer requests, and partly from seeing each other every Sunday and often at mid-week groups as well.  People know if you have trips coming up, or if there was a job change, or if something's going on with your kids, and they ask about it.  People notice if you're gone and check in about that.  Loneliness is a huge problem in our society right now, and having a group who knows what's going on with you and sees you every week goes a long way towards helping this.  
• People help you in tangible ways - They bring you meals.  They give you rides.  They visit you in the hospital.  The church facilitates you helping people in these same ways.  We've been the recipient of many meals, and it's amazing how cared for this act of service makes you feel.
• People inspire you - We live in a pretty me-focused culture, so it really inspires me to see people who are using their time and talent to help others.  This might look like working with orphans in Ukraine, or arriving at church at 7:30 am every week to set up chairs, or using your home to host all the events, or a thousand other things that help people in the church, the community, and the world.
• Friendships with purpose - People naturally gravitate towards those they have something in common with - same age group, same interests.  But these friendships go deeper when you are united by the same belief system.  I might spend the most time with others who have school aged kids, or who like to paddleboard, or who think that a book club is a great use of Friday night -- but these interactions are deepened when we have the shared link of faith.  
• Multi-generational friendships - This is a surprise benefit that I love so much - you get to know people who AREN'T just like you, and specifically, who aren't the same age as you.  Some of my favorite people and best mentors and encouragers are a generation up.  They show me a life that I can strive towards if I continue in the faith, and they can give wisdom and perspective when I'm in the weeds of my own life stage.  You also get a chance to get to know people who are a generation below, with all the energy and possibility and idealism that youth / young adulthood brings.  
• People encourage you, support you, and help you grow - You are often embarking on shared projects together.  This might be memorizing verses, praying and studying the Bible together, doing service projects together, discussing books together, or playing music together.  These are all great ways to keep learning and keep growing, and when you do it with a group, you get more and better and deeper growth through the group working together.  

These are things I  really appreciate about my church.  As always, please add your ideas to my list!

Review of "Illusion of Control"

 Kenny recently published a new book!  It's called "Illusion of Control".  This book is a post-apocalyptic retelling of the biblical story of Samuel, Saul, and David.  The blurb on the back summarizes it well:  "In the postapocalyptic city of Gog, Wu was a great king, until he lost his faith, and then his mind, and then his kingdom.  In Gog, your worst enemy may turn out to be your best friend, and the most dangerous thing you can do is fall in love.  Illusion of Control is an urgent parable about why we live together and how societies fall."  

This is a great read!  Here are my favorite things about it:

• Reno setting, and rich descriptions in general - This book is set in Reno.  Those of you who are familiar with Reno will enjoy descriptions of specific places around town and the haunting (but also sometimes beautiful) images of what our region might look like in a post-apocalyptic future.  Kenny creates very evocative descriptions, so you can really see places and imagine scenes playing out in your head.  
• Classic story set in futuristic times - This is kind of like if you've ever seen a Shakespeare retelling set in modern times.  The bones of a really good story are all in there, but because it's set in a dramatically different time and place, you notice new and different things, and you can also appreciate the original story in a whole new light.  
• The technology aspect - Kenny takes advantage of the futuristic setting to bring in nanotechnology, and uses it to make some unexpected plot twists and to bring up some really interesting questions about the intersection of technology and faith.  You could do a whole book club about this aspect alone, but I don't want to get too deeply into it and cause spoilers.  Other than to say that I think Yuel's quote on p. 528 nicely summarizes how the technology stuff fits with some of the religious questions it raises.
• Well crafted, action packed plot - The plot weaves together really nicely from beginning to end, with a complex structure that builds as it goes.  There is lots of action and a fair amount of violence, which is true to the story it's based on (and this made me appreciate what it would've been like to be alive during the days when there was either battle or the threat of battle around every corner).  I will say that violence is not my favorite, but here I found it to be like Breaking Bad - it builds the story arc and helps drive the character's moral development; it serves a purpose.
• Character development - This was my very favorite thing!  Kenny really develops the characters.  When you are a kid and learn these stories, they can seem pretty one dimensional.  Saul = bad guy.  David = good guy.  Etc.  Here, you get to imagine more of a back story.  Saul as the guy who grows up in a very troubled, poverty stricken home.  Who's at least sometimes trying to do the right thing, as life hammers him down.  Who ultimately succumbs and breaks down based more on weakness than the stereotypical evil-through-and-through movie villain.  David as the guy who's very brave and heroic, but also brash and impulsive and headstrong.  All of the characters are built out more, and feel like real people.  The Samuel and Jonathan characters are great.  The three leaders of the enemy people are all very compelling, particularly the woman who invents the technology.  I really enjoyed getting to know these characters. 
• Cliff hangers at the end leave you wanting more!  My sources tell me that a sequel is on the way.

So, in conclusion, you should check out Kenny's new book!  You can get a paperback copy or a (free!) ebook at this link.  And you can check out more of Kenny's creative work here.

Thankful for Our Village At Sarah Winnemucca

 

First day of elementary school

Last day of elementary school!

Josh officially ended his time in elementary school today.  Because he started in preschool, he has been attending elementary school for NINE years - most of his life, and more than most of us stay at any one work place these days!  I was so scared to send my tiny, vulnerable, three year old to this enormous school building - his backpack weighing almost more than him as we passed by the upper grade kids who looked like giants.  That first day, I just didn't know how in the world it was going to work at all.  I am thrilled to say that this first, and biggest, chunk of school has gone great:  we have seen him grow so much in every way - physically, emotionally, academically, socially - and it's largely thanks to the village of adults at the school.  So this post is an ode to all of Josh's elementary teachers and teams, with all the reasons I think you're great!

First, we've been so blessed to have great general education teachers every year who come up with creative ideas that make the kids want to go to school and want to learn.  These teachers have done everything from guided art drawings to a passports around the world project to read alouds with great books that the kids can't wait to hear what comes next in the story to making the classroom a town with its own economy and everyone has jobs.  I've loved Josh's teachers so much each year that I always request to get them for Zoey too (and they've been great in teaching her too! - I could write a whole separate post about what a help and encouragement they've been in developing her love of reading and writing - but for today, I'm focusing on Josh's experience).

Second, we've had an IEP team and administrators who have given him a robust IEP that supports all his needs without making it a fight.  I've talked to tons of families both in and out of our school district and know exactly how rare this is.  All the support has been a huge blessing to him, and the without a fight has been terrific for me :).

Third, the school staff really got to know him.  Everyone knew the kinds of topics and books that projects that would be of most interest.  As an example of this:  there were a couple years where Josh was really into bridges, and the Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse in particular.  This bridge collapse from the 1940s was caught on video and is sometimes used to teach college engineering students about aeroelastic flutter - Josh enjoyed watching it and could tell you all about the physics behind it.  Anyway, the school used to do science days, where students would go to different classrooms throughout the day and learn about different science related topics - one of the presentations on offer that year was his favorite, the Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse video.  Josh came home so excited, and I'm not sure exactly which teacher or staff made this happen, but what a wonderful thing.

Fourth, they believed in him and they operated from a growth mindset.  They started where he was at, but also saw where he could go, and consequently, we saw great growth.  It would be easy to go through the motions and provide services without any heart, not really believing in the student's ability to make progress.  We never had this - we always had team members that cared, that believed growth was possible, and we consistently saw progress.

Fifth, the school really prioritized treating everyone with kindness, and consequently we had really good experiences through the years with both staff and students valuing and including my kid.  The former principle deserves huge credit for setting this tone, along with all the teachers and staff for living it out day after day.

I can easily imagine a different school experience where any of these things weren't true - where we had to deal with bullying, or fight for our kid to get the same kind of education as others, or where school was just a miserable thing.  I am extremely grateful to all the teachers who put in the extra care and extra effort (even in challenging covid years!) to make these elementary years so great.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  There really aren't words to adequately convey how much this means to me.

I hope you all have an awesome summer!  Maybe we'll cross paths in the Sierra Nevadas!  I wish you all the best.

Running Post, 2022 Edition

One guarantee about race photos:  they *will* be goofy.  Finish line happiness right here.

 I ran The Biggest Little Half Martahon last weekend, so that means it's time for another running post!  I know running is not everyone's cup of tea, but if it's any consolation, at least it's not politics :).  This post will have some thoughts on the unique contours of running during covid, and training as an over 40 runner.

Running During Covid:  Don't It Always Seem to Go, that You Don't Know What You Got til It's Gone

This was my first race of any kind for 3 years.  I had planned to run this same half marathon in the spring of 2020, and had worked my way a good way up the training ladder (meaning, doing longer and longer training runs on the weekend), and then covid rolled in and shut everything down.  All races were cancelled throughout America for the rest of 2020 and into the early part of 2021.  

Despite the pause in racing, running was a terrific outlet during covid.  It was really a great boredom and anxiety reliever, especially during the spring and summer of 2020.  Those early weeks, I would go out on the trail by our house almost every night - thankfully, it was never very busy, and it was easy enough to keep a gaiter around my neck in case I happened to run into people.  Running was about the only thing I did outside of the house, and it provided endorphins from exercise, Vitamin D from sunshine, some peace and quiet for this introvert, and a chance to enjoy beautiful nature.  Those evening runs through the canyon were great, even on days when the running part itself was hard.

By late spring / early summer of 2021, races started to appear back on the scene, but there were still problems:  some of the small businesses that put on races weren't able to stay in business after a year of no races, so there were fewer races happening; the numbers of participants and volunteers were (understandably) still very low, and meanwhile cities (understandably) had all kinds of extra rules about masking and social distancing and other covid protocols, so races often got cancelled at the last minute; and you didn't know exactly if and when your own family was going to get hit by covid and then you lose 6-8 weeks of training and your entire fitness base.  I started to train for a few races in the fall of 2021, but for all these reasons, didn't end up running a race.  

Race day outfit!

So it was really, really, really exciting this spring to see races returning in all their glory, with full participation and no restrictions.  The whole ritual of race weekend is fun: picking up the packets; carbo loading the night before, then laying out your outfit; lining up at the starting line with a throng of people, then taking off together at the starting gun; running past the supportive people blasting music or

holding up funny signs; grabbing a water from the aid station and trying to drink it without choking; struggling through those last few miles and swearing you'll never do this again; running the last block as hard as you can and feeling glorious as you cross the finish line; collapsing somewhere nearby until your legs feel capable of moving again; congratulating fellow finishers and just being around hundreds of other people who find this strange, beautiful, torturous race a good time.  Cheers to the Biggest Little Half, and cheers to the return of half marathons!

Running After Age 40

This was my 5th half marathon.  I did the first two in my 20s, and I think that version of me would be shocked to know that I was still running half marathons decades later.  I first tried it out because I wanted to see if I could do it and I wanted to have the experience with my mom (who is an awesome runner with a PR that I am still chasing, and who gave me the running bug!).  I did follow a training plan, but I don't remember giving a single thought to things like what should I eat (other than, it made me super hungry and there were lots of Dairy Queen blizzards), how much should I sleep, or how should I stretch and recover.

Like eating toothpaste style nutrition supplements in the middle of the run!

That's the big difference, running in your 40s - you give lots of thought to all these things.  If I eat fast food or drink alcohol the day before a long run, it's not going to go well.  If I don't get 8-9 hours of sleep, same thing.  (This might've been true in the days before kids, too, but it's not as hard to do before kids :).  As far as recovery:  I stretch my hamstrings now about ten times a day, we have 4 ice packs in our freezer, we have a Theragun ready to go for sore muscles, and turmeric is one of the regular daily vitamins.

The other thing that's different about running at age 41 is that I realize each training cycle where I'm healthy enough to run is a gift, not a given.  God willing, I have decades left of life, but not necessarily decades of endurance running - you don't know when the injury or health issue will hit that brings this chapter to a close.  So it makes me increasingly grateful each year that my body is able to support this effort, and it makes me want to give a full effort on race day.  

Having said that -- this is also a really fun, inspired year to be a middle aged runner.  New female American records for both marathon and half marathon were set this last year --  the half marathon record is now held by Sarah Hall, mother of 4, who achieved the record  at age 38; the full marathon record is now held Keira D'Amato, mother of 2, who achieved the record this year at age 37.   These women give me hope and inspiration that if they can run their strongest at this age / life stage, then many of us non-elite runners at a similar age / stage should also be able to give it a strong go.  So I'm not saying that my running years are necessarily close to over, or even that I'm ruling out a PR in the future.  Just that I'm increasingly thankful for the gift of a healthy body as the years tick by.   (Note:  in the week between when I started this post and got around to finishing, a new record was set in the women's half - but the point still stands.)

If any of you reading this are runners, tell me:  what's your favorite distance to race?  What's your favorite part of the race?  

So Raise a Glass to the Turning of the Seasons

We are on the brink of some big transitions in our family!  Ivy will start kindergarten in the fall, marking the first time in almost 12 years that I haven't had at least one kid full time at home with me.  (Josh will also be starting middle school!!)  This means I will have some hours open up during the day, and we will have some decisions to make about what's the best way to fill them.  Even though this won't happen for several months, I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  This post isn't going to make any big announcements, but is more of a "some things I've noticed while I'm processing the upcoming transition".  I'm hoping this might be relatable to anyone who is making a life decision (going back to work, changing jobs, retiring; relationships, having kids; significant changes to time or budget; really any big change).  Three things I've noticed:

 1.  Transition times make you think about your big life values.    Life is busy.  Most days, we're just trying to stay afloat with "what's on today's schedule / to do list / dinner menu"?  Making it through each day feels like it takes everything we got, and there's no time or energy leftover to map out a 5, 10, and 20 year plan.  But when you're at a crossroads and need to make some life choices, you find the time to evaluate the big things.  What's important to me in my relationships with my kids, my closest family and friends, my people?  What is my north star, the thing(s) that matter most to me in who I am and what I want to be and do with this life?  What are my financial needs and goals?  And how does all this square with the decision in front of me?  (For me, the biggest life goals are to love God and love others - there are a variety of ways that this could play out, but this is my north star.)

As someone who regularly overthinks things (see #3), it might seem like I'm thinking about these things all the time, but my natural tendency is actually much more to take the situation that I'm in and try to make the best of it.  I'm not great at envisioning the future, goal setting years in advance, or making big and scary changes.  But man, what an important skill to get better at, and these transition times are natural opportunities to work on this skill set.

2.  The input coming in hits disproportionately strongly during transitions, so it's a time to be extra careful about what you put in your head.  When I'm thinking about how to structure the next phase of my life, it can be easy to start listening closely to everything that passes into my ears or before my eyes and take it as a sign, to take everything to heart.  Like, "Ooh, here's a catchy quote on Facebook, let's take this as direction and proceed accordingly."  When I'm in a decision making phase, I try to heed this advice:  "It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brain falls out."  Knowing that I'm extra susceptible to ideas right now, and probably for the next several months, I'm mindful to keep an eye on whose advice I'm taking in.  Is this a trusted source?  Do their values align with mine?  And even if so, do their input square with my big picture goals that I just worked out in Question #1?  The best advice I've been getting from (multiple!) trusted sources is this:  "It doesn't matter as much what you do, but who (and whose) you are."

3.  Don't overthink it! I'm literally writing a blog post about my "process", so as you can see, there is a built in propensity for overthinking up in this brain.  What I mean by "don't overthink it" is:  do the steps above - think about your values, seek input and choose good influences to help you in that process.  Pray about it.  BUT.  There is definitely a point where you can stew too much.  While planning and preparation and prayer are not a waste of time, worrying that extends beyond these things is absolutely a waste of time.  At some point, you do just need to make choices and then move forward.  Big structural decisions should be made carefully, but they don't have to be final - if something isn't working, that's a signal to figure out a way to make a change.  And the biggest thing, with regards to overthinking (and taken straight from my church's James study, the end of chapter 4):  we don't know the future, and we don't control the future.  I never expected to be a stay at home mom, none of my educational preparations went that way, but life circumstances led a different direction.  I do need to make plans and preparations, but they need to be held humbly and loosely, knowing that God might have a different path in store for me.

So these are my thoughts as I approach a transition.  I know several who read this blog have been through transition times, and I would welcome your words of wisdom in this process!

P.S.  Even though this post is purposely written in general terms, it should not go without saying that it's a privilege to be able to think about whether and what kind when it comes to jobs, and I'm grateful for this.

All About Sky Tavern

This winter, my family entered the world of downhill ski for the first time.  We had a really good experience, so I wanted to write more about it for those of you who also live in Northern Nevada and are wondering about learning to ski and Sky Tavern in particular.  For those of you reading along who have also done it, feel free to add on in the comments!

What is Sky Tavern?

Sky Tavern is a nonprofit learn to ski program.  They have their own ski resort, near Mt. Rose.  They offer around 8 weekends of skiing each winter (this depends on the snow, since they don't have a snowmaker - some years will be less, this year we are getting 10+ weeks).  Each family must have at least one parent come up with the kids (unless your kids are ages 9+ and signed up as a bus kid), and this parent must spend at least 2 hours per day volunteering.  What most families do is choose one weekend day and come up every weekend on that day - the morning is required kid's lessons / adult volunteering, the afternoon is optional free ski.  You can do both weekend days if you choose (but you have to do lessons / volunteering every day you go up), and there are occasionally extra days of free ski offered.  

What's Awesome

- The ethos:  All the leaders of the program are so positive and enthusiastic.  They love kids, they love skiing, they love this program, and they will likely have won you over to this mindset by the end of things.  They want to bring confidence and joy and love of outdoors to kids as much as they want to teach skiing skills, so it's not a high pressure program.  It's largely run by volunteers and this can be pretty chaotic at times, but it really does work - most all of the kids on the mountain will make good forward progress in skiing skills from week to week.  One thing that's funny is that this program is by far the most Midwestern-minded of anything I've seen out west (which is ironic, since it's skiing) - it's like a barn raising - there is a huge emphasis on everyone helps out, everyone pitches in, it can't get done without everyone doing their part - and this communal aspect is part of the beauty.  

- The cost:  I will go into this in more detail below, but the cost is a fraction of what it will be at any other ski resort. 

- The inclusivity:  They say that they want every kid to be able to learn, and they mean it.  For my family, I have especially appreciated their amazing adaptive program.  They will get your kid the gear and adult support they need, take them through the learning process with the support and pace needed, and be SO positive and encouraging throughout.  We've done several adaptive sports programs now, and this is among the best.  I'll attach a video of Josh skiing - note that he's going on his own, grinning from ear to ear, and being enthusiastically supported by a couple adults.  I love love love this part of the program, in a my-heart-is-exploding kind of way.  So much appreciation for the leaders, instructors, and volunteers that make adaptive skiing possible.  

- Parents can learn too:  This is optional, but if you have any inkling of interest in learning to ski, it will be strongly kindled once you get up on the hill.  They offer adult lessons for free in both the morning and afternoon, and they will start at whatever level you're at.  They don't offer child care, so if your child isn't at the point where they can free ski or hang out without supervision - which two of my three are not, so I had to rely heavily on friend and family support to make this happen - then you will have to figure out a plan.  But when you get up on the mountain, see your kids getting the hang of it, realize you've already done the hard work of getting up there and that lessons are there for the taking, it will make you want to take advantage of the opportunity.  I'm grateful to those who helped me make this happen!

- The activity of skiing:  It's really fun!  It's not as hard as it looks, at least getting good enough to go down the easiest hills.  It's a great way to get fresh air and have a fun outdoor activity during the doldrumy winter months.  As Zoey says, "it feels like freedom".  I wasn't sure that any of us would make progress or enjoy it - as it turns out, all four of us made progress, and all four of us enjoyed it and want to do it again next year.  I will go into the hard parts below, but I want to make sure to emphasize that we loved it, and overall the pros far, far outweigh the cons.  

What's Hard

- Volunteering:  As mentioned above, every adult is required to volunteer for 2 hours per day.  There are some inside the lodge type positions, but they really want as many adults as possible helping out with the kids on the snow.  Depending on which program your kid signs up in, you might be required to volunteer with that program.  I helped with the Sky Kids, which is the 3-5 year olds.  In this one, you are assigned to a Pre-K kid who is not yours and you help them learn.  The kids themselves were usually quite funny and cute and nothing more difficult than wanting lots of breaks and lots of gummies.  But the physical demands of being a crash test dummy and lifting a kid out of the snow 100 times are a lot - I tweaked my back that first week (it gets easier as the kids get better).  And to me it felt really strange trying to "teach" when I had literally never been on skis for the first month, like the kids who got me as their helper were getting the short straw on instruction.  (There were plenty of others who were helper instructors that didn't know how to ski, and it actually does work since a) there are certified instructors supervising the helpers and b) what the kids really need is time on the snow to practice more than the most experienced and knowledgeable instructor of all time.)  So depending on your volunteer assignment, it might be pretty physically demanding and out of your comfort zone - there is an argument to be made that this is good for us, and I actually did grow more comfortable and loved watching the kids make progress and enjoy themselves - but in any case, it's something to know and keep in mind.  

- Early times - For many, the weekend is the one time of the week where you can wake up without an alarm and have a relaxed morning.  If this is something you really value, this may not be the program for you.  Classes start at 9 am - this means that you're waking up at 6 am to get out the door at 7 am to get on the mountain by 8 am (for parking, getting gear on, checking in, etc.)  The first few weeks, you're driving up the mountain at sunrise.

- So much gear - There is soooo much gear with skiing, exponentially more than any other kid activity.  With every person who's skiing comes:  skis, ski boots, ski poles, ski helmets, ski goggles, ski gloves, ski pants, ski socks, snow boots, and layers of warm weather clothes.  As the weeks go on, you get a system in place for getting out the door, but it's a lot.  (If your kids are younger, or adaptive, or just getting used to the ski boots, I highly highly recommend bringing a collapsible wagon as well, to transport all the gear from your car to the lodge, and getting set up right next to the ski hill.)

The Cost 

This breakdown might be a little crass or boring for some, so feel free to skim past this section - but I'm hoping this will be helpful for a few.

Each child is $150 for the season for lessons / access to the lift.  If you rent ski gear from Sky Tavern, this is $50 per kid for the season.  (Note that $200 for a weekly activity spread over 2-3 months is very comparable to the cost of any other sport, and from what I've heard, about 1/6th the price of the other ski resorts.) (I would definitely rent rather than buy equipment for the kids, since this price is so reasonable and they will change sizes from year to year.)  Parents who go up on the mountain also have to buy the $150 pass (which includes lessons and lift for you too, but you have to buy it whether or not you actually ski).  Parents can't rent gear from Sky Tavern.  If you do a season rental from Bobos, that's $300 for all the stuff.  If you buy it used (available at the ski swaps, Craig's List, or Bobo's), you can also expect to pay $200-$400.  If you buy skis new, the whole package will be closer to $1,000+.

As far as the other ski specific gear - we got helmets for $40 per person, goggles for $35 per person, ski socks for $30 per person, ski gloves for $10 per person.  (If you get these things from the ski shop not during a sale, they will be more, so it pays to plan ahead.)  The good things about all of those things is that once you get them once, they should last for several seasons.  

Other Closing Thoughts

- Be ready for first couple times to be hard.  When all the gear is new, and standing on skis is new, and being out in the snow all day is new - it all just takes some getting used to.  The first couple weeks will be more work than fun, but the fun to work ratio gets way better if you stick with it.

- Sky Tavern really wants to make it possible for everyone.  I didn't know how it was going to work for our family, with three brand new kids (one with special needs) and a clueless adult - we were the hot mess express that first week - but it worked!  If it worked for us, it can work for you!  

- We loved it!!  If you think you might like it, give it a try!

Day 30: What Experience this Month

Skiing in 60 degree weather

 

What experience this month are you grateful for?

This month, I'm grateful for skiing!  I'm so grateful for all activities that get us outside together as a family, and I'm especially grateful for this one because it got us out regularly in a season when we tend to just hole up in the house, and doing an activity that we will be able to continue to improve at and enjoy for many years to come (and how often as an adult do you get to pick up a brand new activity that is so much fun?!).  I'm grateful that this activity worked out for all four of us, which is not a given when you try anything new.  I'm especially grateful for the friends and family who helped out with the kids so that I could take lessons and have practice time - it takes a village!  I'm grateful that we live so close to mountains, which makes it much easier to participate.  And I'm grateful that Sky Tavern made it so accessible and affordable for a family of complete and total newbies.  (A few of you have asked for a lot more details about Sky Tavern, so I'll write up a longer post soon.)

That concludes the 30 days of gratitude posts.  Thanks to the small but mighty crew of you who have followed along (and extra special thanks to the couple who have participated with me) - it really did bring cheer to this month!

Day 29: What Bill

 

What bill are you grateful to pay?

This is a funny prompt.  The knee jerk first response is, "none".  And then, when you start thinking about what you receive in return for the bills you pay, the next answer is "(almost) all".  This morning, the bill that's standing out to me is the garbage bill.  Garbage is a subject we hardly have to think about, except remembering once a week to get the bin out to the curb.  But if you live in areas or countries without this service, you have to do a lot of thinking about garbage - burn it?  Bury it?  Live with a bunch of junk around?  It provides major public health benefits to have garbage disposed of so efficiently, it keeps things more beautiful and orderly, and it just makes life way easier.  I'm thankful for the waste management workers and the whole waste management system.  

Day 28: About Your Home

Zoey, age 4.  Shortly before ropey entered the scene.

 

What are you grateful for about your home?

I'm grateful that we have a front and back yard with trees.  In the front yard, the big maple tree in our front yard provides shade in the summer so that the kids can hang out and run around even on the hottest of days.  In the back, the fruit trees remind us of the seasons, with flowers in the spring, lush green leaves in the summer, fruit sprouting in the fall, and bare branches in the winter.  The apricot tree branches start really low, so it's been fun for the kids to climb starting as toddlers.  It's convenient to have a fenced in yard for our dog to run around.  I'm grateful for the kids to have a place to run around, and I'm grateful to look outside the windows and see green.

Day 27: In Your Country

 

What is something you're grateful for in your country?

Again, there's a list that comes to mind:

1. Like the rest of the world, I'm watching the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and praying for and sympathizing with the Ukranians.  It reminds me, despite the struggles in the United States right now, of how much we have to be grateful for here.  I'm grateful that we are at peace, and not facing any military threat within our borders.  I'm grateful that we have a strong military, and that there are so many willing to serve to protect our country.  
2. There are people in my life facing difficult and scary medical situations.  This makes me grateful that we have access to excellent doctors, world class hospitals, and the best medicines and treatments available.
3. Watching the winter Olympics and reading of some of the recommendations to athletes makes me grateful for our freedom of speech. I'm grateful that the government doesn't censor us or throw us in jail for the content of our words.  I'm grateful that this allows for the exploration of ideas, the challenging of bad government policies, and innovation.  It relates closely to other core freedoms - freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, freedom of the press.  I am especially grateful for people who choose to use their speech well.  It feels like there's lots of bad ways speech has been used recently - lies, cruelty, cancelling, ugliness - although I don't know if that's different than it's ever been, maybe it's just easier to see because of all the public platforms.  But regardless, that makes me so grateful for people who use their speech well:  to tell the truth, to be kind, to encourage, to speak something beautiful.  

Day 26: Meal Today

What is a meal you're grateful for today?

I'm grateful for the comfort food of grilled cheese with homemade tomato basil soup.  I remember my mom serving up grilled cheese on winter days and it was a meal that always hit the spot.  Now I appreciate it because it's easy, the ingredients are usually on hand, most of the family enjoys it, and it really feels like the right food to go with a chilly day.  We've had a warm winter here, but are finally getting some snow and a cold streak, so I'm finally getting to make soup to match the weather.  I'm grateful for comfort foods, for any food vehicle that makes vegetables taste delicious, for the snow that we've needed so badly, and for foods that span generations.

Day 25: About Your City

What are you grateful for about your city?

I am grateful for so much about Reno, so I'm going to do a list!

• I love the geography of Reno.  I love that we're high desert, and when we go for walks around the neighborhood, we walk through sagebrush and our dog chases lizards rather than squirrels.  But I also love that we're right at the edge of the mountains and can enjoy their beauty driving around town in almost every direction, not to mention adventure in them year round.  I love that the high desert climate means we get all four seasons, but none of them are severe.
• I love the size of Reno.  Midsized cities of about 200,000 - 500,000 are my favorite - there's plenty of interesting stuff to do and new restaurants to try and places to explore, but it's not so big that it feels crushing.  And when you live here long enough, you start to feel the six degrees of separation effect - you're not too far removed by personal connection from anyone.
• I love the character of the people here.  It's partly the wild wild west / independent / cowboy frame of mind, where people like to be left alone to live wild and free, but it's also heavily influenced by California, and has some of that healthy living / casual cool style.  (But if you're going to be a true Reno-ite, it is an absolute must to blame Californians for everything that's going wrong here, from the affordable housing crisis to heavier traffic to overcrowded schools to anyone being rude in any time or place.) 
• I love that leaders in the community are striving to reinvent this city, to make it more than a casino town living in the shadow of Vegas.  They are bringing in interesting tech and start ups, creating shopping and restaurant districts that aren't all about casinos, and just in general doing a bang up job of moving Reno forward.  
• Most of all, I love and am grateful for the people I'm close to here:  the Ching family, my friends, and my Dayspring church body.  

Day 24: About Social Media

What are you grateful for about social media?

I am grateful for my 4q deletion parents Facebook group.  I'm grateful for a way to connect with other parents around the world that would've been impossible even just a decade ago.  (Which probably coincided pretty well with the timing of much greater access to genomic testing  - so a bunch of us started finding out that our kids had a super rare genetic diagnosis around that time, and then we had a social media network where we could connect!)  I'm grateful to be able to give and get medical information, educational and developmental ideas, and emotional support.  I'm grateful to see the pictures of kids who are ahead of us on the journey, or just starting out.  I'm grateful to cheer together for successes, and to pray and struggle together in harder times.  I'm grateful that, while things are currently good and we haven't needed to ask a question to the group for awhile, they are always there when needed.  I'm grateful for the camaraderie I feel with all these people I've never met, but with whom I share this really important thing.  And for all the ways that Facebook is detrimental, I'm thankful that it allows people in all kinds of new and scary medical situations to get this same kind of information and connection..