Advent thoughts 2016

You know how there's different things that stick out to you every time you go through an annual season?  This year, I've been thinking about Mary, and also about the physical reality of Jesus being a newborn baby.

Our culture glamorizes babies and expectant mothers (there are some BIG BIG exceptions to this, but i'm guessing for most readers of this blog, that's been your experience): there's gender reveal parties, baby showers, professional photo shoots for maternity and newborn pictures, and an endless stream of social media postings about pregnancy and babies (guilty as charged), mostly just showing the really beautiful parts of the whole experience.

It's such a blessing to have a baby.  But the whole thing - pregnancy, labor and delivery, caring for a newborn - is also very physically taxing, undignified, and sometimes unbelievably hard.  And that's in an era where we get to live in heated houses, sleep on Serta mattresses, get around in cars, use medicine to block pain during labor, and have all kinds of products to help keep baby comfortable and healthy.  We see and hear about the nativity scene so much that you forget the reality of it, but I can't imagine sleeping in a barn in the winter under any circumstances, let alone while giving birth.  I can't fathom walking and riding a donkey across the country when, towards the end of my pregnancies, it was too uncomfortable to take an hour's drive anywhere.  I would have freaked out if I ended up unexpectedly giving birth at home, and I can't imagine going door to door and hoping for some hospitality as the contractions were coming.  I felt a little squeamish that my newborn baby had to be subject to the germs in the hospital, and I can't imagine laying the baby down in straw that was recently rolled in by farm animals.

Add to all this the fact that Mary was a poor, unwed teenager.  She had a marriage and a life lined up, and this pregnancy potentially put all of that in jeopardy.  It sounded just as crazy then as it would now that she had an immaculate conception and was now carrying the Son of God.  Mary was the first one to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, when she had every reason to be scared to death, and she embraced her role.  It's amazing.

Then, there's the reality of what it's like to have a newborn.  Babies take the best pictures and they are super cuddly and they look cute in tutus and they have a wonderful smell.  Here are some other things that are true of newborn babies:    They operate entirely on reflex because they can't understand what's going on around them.  They are frequently spitting up and having explosive poops.  Their only means of communication are grunting and crying.  They can hardly see, can't hold up their own head, and are utterly dependent on their parents moment to moment for survival.  It is INCREDIBLE that the king of the universe subjected himself to this state, that this was part of the rescue plan for our broken world.

That's what I'm thinking about this Advent season.  How about you?

Day 30: Talent / Skill

Day 30:  What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?

I am grateful to have a law degree.  I'm grateful for the work I got to do before I started staying home with the kids.  I'm grateful for the employment I will be able to seek when I return to work.  I'm grateful to be able to earn a living doing something that I enjoy and find challenging (in a good way) and meaningful.  And for right now, while I'm out of the workforce, I'm grateful for the ways it helps me in every day life, especially for stuff with Joshua like dealing with health insurance companies, attending IEP meetings, applying for Medicaid waiver programs, and keeping track of paperwork.  There are plenty of parents who do an awesome job of these tasks without a law degree, but it gives a big confidence boost to have specialized training in gathering and presenting evidence, writing appeals, and finding and using the relevant rules to bolster your case.

Day 29: Friend / Family Member

Day 29:  What friend / family member are you most grateful for today?

I am grateful for my sister!  She was born just 17 months after me, so we share (almost) a lifetime of history.  So many memories...playing Narnia in the coat closet, doing workouts together, fighting over shared clothes in high school, inappropriately laughing during Christmas Eve church services, and the list could go on for pages.  During our years between high school and having kids, my sister would visit me everywhere I lived, often multiple times a year, even though I was a plane flight away.  We had kids at the same time, so we've been able to share the joys and struggles of parenting.  We have very similar faith beliefs, so we can share prayer requests and have conversations about faith.  We share an extended family, all our maternity and baby clothes, reading recommendations, and a similar sense of humor.  I am so, so grateful for my sister.

Day 28: Small thing part 2

Day 28:  What small thing that happened today are you most grateful for?

I am grateful for the 2 hour school snow delay, which meant that we all got to stay in our pajamas until 9 am on a weekday and have a cozy, snow-bound morning.  The weekday mornings tend to be rushed, getting lunch packed and clothes on and teeth brushed, and that is the opposite of our school-aged son's natural speed - he likes to take his time, observe everything that's going on around him, and most of all not be rushed out of a situation that he's enjoying.  So it's nice when the weather cooperates and we all get to have a relaxed morning at home.

Day 27: Small Thing

Day 27:  What small thing that you use daily are you grateful for?

I am grateful for my coffeemaker.  It's a beautiful thing that this small, simple kitchen appliance can, with the touch of a button, make my whole morning better.  It fills the kitchen with a pleasant smell, it provides a steaming hot beverage, and of course it makes sure all the adults get their caffeine fix.  I even like the sound of the water percolating.  Cheers to coffee!

Day 26: Form of expression

Day 26:  What form of expression are you most grateful for?

I am grateful for letters.  When your mailbox is often stuffed with junk mail, bills, and political ads, it's such a treat to receive a letter!  My Grandma Max is a champion letter writer.  From the age when I could start reading, she sent several letters per year (approximately once a month) asking how I was doing and telling me all about life in western Nebraska.  This adds up to hundreds of letters!  There's something so special about holding the paper in your hand and, if it's a card, putting it up on your mantle, rather than just hearing the ding of an email on your phone, and then quickly scanning and deleting it.  If a letter is really special, you can keep it forever.  Kenny and I wrote letters to each other when we were first dating and spent a summer living across the country from each other, and I still have those letters.  It's getting to be a lost art, but I am grateful for letters.

Day 25: Moment

Day 25:  What moment this week are you most grateful for?

I am grateful for Saturday morning dates with my husband.  Now that we live in Reno, we have a standing arrangement where the kids go to their grandparent's house on Saturday morning while Kenny and I get to have brunch and adult conversation.  One of our favorite places to go is the Truckee River Bar and Grill, where there is never a line, the food is always plentiful, and it feels like a local's secret.  I love to have this chance to spend time with Kenny, to eat a meal without interruptions, and to recharge my battery before picking up the kids.

Day 24: Challenge

Day 24:  What challenge are you grateful for?

I am grateful for the challenge of graduating law school without a job.  I was one of only a handful of my hundreds of classmates who didn't have a job lined up when we crossed the stage in May.  In some ways, this was expected - I was looking for a non-profit job, while most of my classmates were going to corporate law firms or judicial clerkships, and the hiring process for both of those jobs happens several months in advance, while non-profits tend to hire right when they need someone and have the funding.  However, it was disheartening and scary to have worked so hard and racked up a six figure student loan debt only to graduate without employment lined up.  I did what my classmates were doing that summer - I studied for and took the bar exam - and meanwhile, I continued to apply for legal jobs as they became available, and prayed hard.  When it got to August, I started looking for any kind of job that was available, including but not limited to driving an ice cream truck - anything to pay the bills until a real lawyer job presented itself.  In that last week of looking before I needed to start at any job that was available and would have me, my dream job became available.  I would get to work on causes I believed in, doing a variety of interesting work (class action litigation, policy research, and a smorgasboard of other things), with people who I respected, admired, and got along well with.  I couldn't have come up with a better fit if I got to write the job description myself.  If this job would have become available back in May, when I was graduating and so eager to have a job lined up, I (probably) couldn't have been hired because I wouldn't be available until after taking the bar exam in July.  If this job became available later, I likely would have already started somewhere else.  But as it turned out, the timing was perfect.  I'm grateful for this challenge because it was a growing opportunity:  a chance to trust God and see how the wait worked out for my good, to become more patient, and to learn not to care so much if my path looked different than other people's paths.

Day 23: Tradition

Day 23:  What tradition are you grateful for?

I'm grateful for a family tradition we have with the kids called "Party on the Elevator".  Every time we get on an elevator together, we sing a song with a techno beat and lyrics consisting entirely of "Party on the Elevator" and we all do our craziest dance moves.  This tradition started when we were doing our cross country drives (there were 7 during our time in Virginia) and staying at hotels along the way, all of which had elevators. The kids love it so much that now we do it at every elevator (which in Reno is mostly doctors offices, but also Scheels, the Discovery Museum, and Barnes and Noble).  I'm grateful for these traditions that bring our family closer together, add fun to our life, and will forever remind me of the kids being little and bursting with energy and enthusiasm during every elevator ride.

Day 22: Story

Day 22:  What story are you grateful for?

I am grateful for the story of the Prodigal Son.  (For those not familiar, here is the story as it appears in the Gospel of Luke.)  I've been memorizing a verse this month that names some of the Christian virtues - compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience - and these virtues help describe what makes this story so lovely.

• Compassion - the father has mercy on his son.  He can't stand to see him suffering and he wants to help him.
• Kindness - the father is warm and welcoming towards his returning son when he has every right to be angry and turn him away.  
• Humility -  This is true of both the father and the son.  It's not easy to come back to a situation that you gladly walked out of, admit that you were wrong, and be ready to apologize and be treated as foolish and lowly.  The son humbles himself in order to go back to his family.  Likewise, it's not easy to welcome someone back who has made it clear that they think they're better off without you, let alone to celebrate lavishly when that person returns - the father humbles himself to receive his son home.  
• Gentleness - The father could require an apology from his son, or require him to work off the squandered inheritance, or just generally be harsh towards him - instead, he is tender and loving towards his son.  
• Patience - The story doesn't say exactly how long the son was gone, but it was long enough for him to squander his inheritance and for a famine to develop - so it wasn't like the son changed his mind in a day or two.  The father waited for his son, knowing that he might never return, and not punishing him for the delay in returning to the family.  

I am so grateful for this story that illustrates the beautiful way that God treats us, and the beautiful way we should strive to treat each other.  

Day 21: Song

Day 21:  What song are you grateful for?

I am grateful for the song "Come Ye Disconsolate", the Indelible Grace version.  (Link to song above; full lyrics below.)  I listened to this song over and over when we first came home from the NICU with Joshua.  We would drive to and from appointments and I would play this in the car and try to rest in the fact that, whatever test or surgery or diagnosis might be coming down the pike, it would all be made right someday.

[This year, I also discovered that this song is Beth from "Little Women"'s favorite hymn, which is a bonus thing I'm grateful for.]

Lyrics:

1. Come, ye disconsolate, where'er ye languish, 
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel. 
Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish; 
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

2. Joy of the desolate, light of the straying, 
Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure! 
Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying, 
"Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure."

3. Here see the bread of life, see waters flowing 
Forth from the throne of God, pure from above. 
Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing 
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove. 
Come, ye disconsolate, where'er ye languish.

Day 20: Who

Day 20:  Who in your life are you grateful for today?

I am grateful for friends here in Reno.  It can be really hard to make friends at this stage of life, with everyone extremely busy with their families and jobs and all the other things it takes to maintain life.  It's even harder when you move in as an outsider, and your family and school friends all live elsewhere.  And it's hard when you're a reserved person who doesn't have a special talent for small talk.  So considering all that - I feel so blessed to have a couple groups of friends in Reno who I get to see regularly.  One is a group from church, and the other is a group of former co-workers.  It makes such a difference to know that there are people who I can text anytime, who I will get to have adult conversation with at least once in a week, and who will share the ups and downs of life with me (and vice versa).  I'm so grateful for you, Reno friends!

Day 19: Touch

Day 19:  What touch are you grateful for today?

I am grateful for hugs from my family members.  From Ivy, her constant cuddles are the beginning of our relationship, and the sweetest part of her utter dependence on me.  From the two older kids, hugs are a choice to be kind towards me and a strengthening of the relationship we already have.  From Kenny, hugs are reassurance, strength, and companionship.  And all of the hugs show my family's love, which is the thing I am most grateful for.

Day 18: Art

Day 18:  What piece of art are you grateful for?

This is both funny and true.

This is the first one I've had to think really hard about what to choose.  I can think of hundreds of books and songs I'm grateful for (and those are certainly types of art, although other prompts in this 30 day series address those thing), but visual art is something that I'm not very well versed in.  And although the question doesn't specifically ask about visual art, that's how I took it on first reading, so that's where I,m going to go with it.  I'm grateful that really beautiful art exists, and I love pieces like Van Gogh's Starry Night or Monet's Water Lilies -- but if I'm being honest, they don't hold any special meaning for me.

What I really like, though it's about as low brow as it gets, is "art" with a sense of humor, like really funny memes.  I know that memes are not all good - sometimes they are overly mean, or dumb down a complicated conversation in an unhelpful way.  But I'm grateful for memes that make you literally laugh out loud, something we can all use more of in our life.

Day 17: Knowledge

Day 17:  What knowledge are you grateful for?

I am grateful for the experiential knowledge gained during my Americorps year working for a homeless prevention outreach program in Alamosa, CO.  My job was to meet with people who were near homelessness - facing an eviction notice, a foreclosure, or a utility shut-off that would cause homelessness - and to try to work out a plan that would keep them in their home.  I learned that there are tons of factors that can bring people to this point, ranging from systemic injustice to generational cycles of poverty to a bad economy to bad individual luck and/or choices.  I was privileged to hear people's stories, which almost always included some good times and some bad times.  I was blessed to grow up in a finacially secure home, so I knew very little about poverty other than what I had read in books or heard in academic conversations.  It's a whole different experience to actually talk to the people who are impacted - which is not at all the same as experiencing it yourself, but it does give you helpful knowledge as you try to understand and think of ways to help with poverty.  I'm grateful to the people who told me their stories, and to La Puente for bringing in Americorps volunteers and giving us an experience that certainly helps us as much as the people served.

Day 16: Body

Day 16:  What about your body are you grateful for?

I am grateful that my body has allowed me to have 3 healthy pregnancies and labor and deliveries.  It's a miraculous, remarkable, sometimes miserable but at the same time happy thing to have another person living inside your body.  Those moments where you get to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time, see a picture of them by ultrasound, and feel (and eventually see) the baby kicking are unbelievably sweet.  And that moment where you first meet your newborn baby is like nothing else, it's one of the highlights of your whole life.  I'm so grateful that I got to participate in this process, and I'm grateful that my body (thanks to the grace of God) handled the process without too much difficulty or struggle.