It's December! The busiest month of the year!
If you are in the young family stage, this might be a maximally busy holiday season for you - work parties, extended family celebrations, kids to plan (extensively) for, end of school semester parties, Christmas concerts, teacher gifts, etc. (If you are in a slower season, whether by choice or by circumstance, then this Advent post might resonate more.) Even if you're not in this demographic, chances are good that this time of year feels crazy. There are gifts to buy, decorations to put up, cookies to make, concerts to attend, fitting in some of the holiday activities like looking at Christmas lights and caroling and service projects, and making more of an effort to attend church.
All of these activities are good things, but when they pile on top of each other in the span of just a few weeks, they can create a state of frenetic hurry and exhaustion. I just listened to an excellent podcast about how "hurry is the great enemy of souls in our days". If we overschedule to the point of exhaustion, then we don't have the ability to love those around us well and to enjoy the season.
So with that in mind, what are some steps we can take to ruthlessly eliminate hurry, specifically during the holiday season? (These are some of my ideas - please add yours in the comments!)
1. Recognize if you're taking a "more is better" approach that is actually unhelpful. In an effort to "remember the reason for the season", I overdid it on Advent materials this year. Each morning, with the kids, I'm trying to get through an Advent calendar and a chapter from the Jesus storybook Bible; then on my own, I'm switching to a reading of Mary's Magnificat, a reading from our church's Advent booklet, and a reading from a Tim Keller book. All in the span of about 15 minutes. These are all good materials, but this is just WAY too much, and the result is that all my focus is on racing from one thing to the next rather than choosing one and really basking in it. Next year, I'm going to narrow my Advent materials way down. Not all good things need to be done right now - choose the best things for you and your family, and leave the others aside without guilt.
2. Recognize if you're doing this for cultural or social media expectations. A good example of this for me is Elf on the Shelf. Many moms do this, and it makes for really cute Instagram posts. But having a daily activity like that is stressful to me, so we don't do it - and our kids seem to be having a good holiday season even without it! Another example is Santa pictures - again, they look really cute on social media, but all 3 of my kids are scared to death of the photo op Santas, so we will likely have zero Santa pics from their entire childhoods - and they are still having a holly jolly Christmas :). [Important caveat here that I'm NOT saying to choose only things that bring you joy. There might be things that you could care less about but that matter tremendously to your spouse, or your sister, or your middle child - it's still good to prioritize things that those who you love care about (assuming healthy boundaries on the part of all) - I'm saying here that you don't have to prioritize a thing just because our culture prioritizes it.]
3. Make a game plan and stick to it. Especially with gifts - the more of this you can map out and knock out in November (or earlier?! if you're super organized), the more you will be freed up to enjoy the activities of December, rather than fitting store runs in between the increased load of activities. And if it's the activities themselves that are causing the feeling of hurry, pick and choose which activities are most important to you this year, and save the rest for future holiday seasons.
4. Keep it simple. It's really nice to remember and acknowledge those in your life during the holiday season, but not every gift has to be homemade or super personalized. We have about a dozen teachers and therapists to give gifts to this year, so while I do try to write a thoughtful card, the gift attached to it is either Costco chocolates or gift card.
5. Don't compare. All families are different. Our family needs to take it pretty slow and usually limit weekend activities to about one (or maaaybe two) things per day, or most of us will be totally burned out. Some families do really well with a fuller slate of activities, and there is no need to compete with nor to judge families who do their family schedules differently. Furthermore, each person has different gifts. My mom and mother-in-law are both excellent at creating a cozy Christmas atmosphere with beautiful holiday decorations and ample baked goods. My decorating style is much more functional - we put up a tree and stockings so that there's a place to put the gifts, but there's not a lot beyond that. I appreciate that we get to enjoy the beautiful atmosphere that both sides of my family have created, and I appreciate the joy they take in creating this beautiful setting, but I also feel happy with our holiday decor.
What tips would you add to this list? I hope that all of you are having a good December, and wishing you an abundance of love, joy, hope, and peace during this holiday season!
