Day 16: This hard lesson

I'm throwing this one waaaay back to my elementary school days.  I'm grateful for some discipline I received that taught me some lessons that I still remember today.

The situation was this:  at the end of the school day, my babysitter was in a conversation with another adult that felt like it was taking forever, so I rolled my eyes behind her back.  Although the babysitter did not see it, another adult saw me roll my eyes and told my parents about it.  My parents made me write an apology letter to my babysitter.  At the time, I felt both humiliated and infuriated because the babysitter had not even seen the eye roll, so now I was having to tell her about my bad action towards her; also, I didn't feel like it was that big of a deal, and now there was a whole group of people involved in resolving the situation.  But I wrote the letter, my babysitter received it graciously, and we moved past it.

Here are the lessons I am grateful that I learned from that situation (which I don't always execute perfectly, but which are good ideals to strive towards):
1)  You should treat people with kindness, patience, and respect, even when no one is watching, because this is the right way to conduct yourself in the world, because this will build the right kind of heart attitudes, and because this is what it means to be a person of integrity.
2)  You should treat people with kindness, patience, and respect because you never know who is watching.  A small little throwaway word or action might have ripple effects into relationships and your reputation that you never know about. 
3)  It's annoying when people call you out for acting badly, but this is often at least *partly* because you know that you shouldn't have done the thing and now you are being held accountable and needing to acknowledge that you were wrong.  So when you're annoyed because someone is saying something hard to you, it's good to start with introspection about whether any of the annoyance is because they're right. 

I'm grateful to all of the adults involved for planting the seeds of these important life lessons at a young age.

Day 15: These special talents of mine...

We are rolling into the holiday season, which means there's a lot of holly jolly stuff happening in the next 6 weeks.  For our family, this also includes some birthdays and a trip halfway across the country.  As we head into this busy season, I'm grateful that I'm good at managing mental load.  I'm good at keeping track of tasks through lists, and for the most part I'm good at moving through these lists pretty efficiently.  Both of my parents role modeled this for me, for which I am grateful.  And I'm tremendously grateful that I have more time and bandwidth to devote to mental load since Kenny is earning all the household income right now, which makes an enormous difference. 

My organizational abilities are hit or miss - we do not have a particularly organized house, for example.  But when it comes to the mental load of running the household (things like meal planning, signing the kids up for activities on time, doing all the school and special needs paperwork, etc.), I'm grateful that keeping track of tasks comes pretty naturally and doesn't feel like a huge burden.  This absolutely does not mean that mistakes are never made and that things are never missed, and actually by naming this skill in this post I'm fearful that I'm about to miss some huge thing - but I don't actually think the universe works this way, and I'm still grateful that things with mental load have gone pretty well up to now.

Day 14: 5 big things

On the eve of midterm elections, I've got politics and constitutional amendments and types of government on my mind.  Lots of people, myself included, are unhappy with aspects of how the U.S. government is currently being run.  But you know what's awesome?  We still have really important freedoms.  Many of these even facilitate our ability to push for change in the government.  So today, the five big things I'm thankful for are the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

1.  Freedom of religion - We can practice our religion freely, and we can be assured that nobody else's religion will be forced upon us.  This is one of those dichotomies that is always being worked out and is never perfected, in the same way that individual freedom and the common good sometimes bump up against each other and decisions need to be made that restrict one or the other.  But it's awesome that our country has named both of these freedoms as things to aspire to.  

2.  Freedom of speech - This is a pretty humble little blog, but there are countries where I could be thrown in prison for using a forum like this to write any thoughts that go against the government message.  Ditto with any thoughts that have come out on social media.  We can speak our minds with freedom and the only fear is getting in an online fight with an acquaintance who feels differently.  

3.  Freedom of press - Yes there are some problems with biased news sources on both the right and the left, but a robust free press is keeping the public informed and keeping the government accountable.  Especially in a time when truth is treated as optional, it's good to have the press poking holes in lies.  

4.  Freedom to assemble - We can meet up to organize for our causes.  We can peacefully march and protest.  

5.  Freedom to petition our government for redress of grievances - we can complain to our government or seek the assistance of our government without fear of punishment.  So if you don't like how Congress or the White House is performing, light up those phone lines!

I'm so grateful for these freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment.  

Day 13: 5 small things

This weekend is the annual "Fall Back" of Daylight Savings.  As many memes have noted, when you have young kids, this does not usually mean sleeping in.  BUT, how often do we all wish for more time?  Getting the gift of an extra hour means we all got to enjoy a long, lazy morning together.  Here are 5 things that I am grateful that I was able to do because of our longer morning:

1.  Read the kids a story about Pocahontas - getting our history on!
2.  Make homemade pizza dough, simplifying dinner time later. 
3.  Play a board game.
4.  Finish a novel that I've been trying to get through for months.
5.  Make it to church on time!

Day 12: I love this about how i look

Oooh, this is an uncomfortable one!  I'm grateful that I was lucky enough to inherit the long, lean body type from the Fickenscher side of the family.  I like that, because of that, I can receive hand me downs from my more fashionable mom and sister.  I'm grateful that it has allowed me some athletic opportunities in high school and college, and that it makes it easier to pick up running even though I'm more of a dabbler than a hard-core dedicated athlete these days.  I'm grateful that I can reach things that are up high.  I'm grateful that, by sheer luck of genetics, I've been able to get back to about the same shape and size after three pregnancies.  There are things I would love to change about my body shape, just like everyone, but all in all I'm grateful for what I've been given in my body type. 

Day 11: About my school or job

The secret to looking lawyerly when you're young:  glasses.

Today, I'm going to discuss something for which I was grateful in two of my former jobs:  I got to work in two non-profit law firms where the vast majority of attorneys were female.  There were so many things that were awesome about both of these workplaces that they could (and probably will) fill a whole volume of thankful posts, so today I'm going to focus on the mostly female workplace part.

First, I'm grateful for what there was not - nobody was trying to undermine or beat out anyone else.  While many of us were competitive by nature, we applied our competitive nature to our cases and our non-profit mission.  There wasn't any locker room talk or boy's club atmosphere.  There wasn't gossiping and backbiting. 

Second, I'm grateful for what there was:  Friendship.  Support, encouragement, and cooperation.  It was inspiring to be surrounded by these smart, driven women who were using their talents to better the world, and it gave me a model for what I wanted my career to look like.  Both offices took great pains to be flexible and family friendly.  People knew each other's kids and spouses, at least a little bit.  People made time to help each other with cases. 

There were males there, too, and they were great.  (I think it takes a certain sort of strength in a man to do well in a working environment led by women, so kudos to you men.)  But I'm grateful to have had the experience, twice, of being surrounded by co-workers who were smart, social justice oriented, kind, and mostly female. 

Day 10: About my Friends

I had to think hard about which friends to shout out for this post - not because I'm so ragingly popular, but because I've been lucky to have really great friends in different stages of my life.  I'm deeply grateful for my good friends from school and different church communities we've been a part of, but today I'm going to talk about the friends who I see the most these days and who are helping me get through this stage of life.   

I'm so grateful for my playgroup moms here in Reno.  Some of the moms in this group knew each other back when we were childless co-workers, so it helped that we already had a friendship and some things in common before kids were added to the mix.  I love that I can talk to these moms about all things good and hard about parenting; about my thoughts on when and whether to go back to work (for the bazzillionth time); about the silly or the deep.  I am so deeply grateful for their encouragement and support and sense of humor.  

We had the same core group meeting for a solid two years.  Now in year three, we have started to meet less frequently as the older kids reach school age - some are back to work, some are now homeschooling, most of us have added another kid or two, and for all of us it's hard to get together as often as we originally did.  But I'm so grateful for the continued relationship via texts and mom's night out and birthday parties and group swimming lessons.  And I know that I will always appreciate the group that helped me get through these sometimes lonely and challenging young child years.