I saw this meme on Instagram and it made me think about a variety of things, so thought I'd do a grab bag blog on our children getting older:
- It's good advice to savor the young years; older kids do move towards independence: My kids are now ages 14, 12, and 8, and so I can now agree with the above from experience - you do see a turn as kids hit the tween years. They are more content to spend time in their room rather than be by your side at all times, more eager to connect with friends, and much less bursting to share every last thought and feeling with parents. I have a heightened appreciation with our youngest that we are in our last few years of cuddles and reading picture books and having pretend play and receiving "I love you" notes on days that are not a designated holiday. This is all right and good, kids are supposed to grow and change and develop and move towards independence, but man it is also bittersweet.
- This is one of the very best things about homeschool: Part of what the meme above refers to is the choice of kids to retreat to their friends and their room, but part of it is an acknowledgement that as school and activities and friendships and sports and work ramp up, there are fewer hours spent every year at home. A huge, huge blessing of homeschool is all the time we continue to get as a family. Even with the kids fully in the world of activities and me back to work, we still get to spend hours together every day on school, eat most meals together, and spend whatever downtime presents itself together. I am so grateful for these bonus hours in the teen years.
- How's it going mixing homeschool and work? We've now been homeschooling with me returned to practicing law half-time for a year, and I think overall it's going well. Some weeks are absolutely crazy, but balanced out over time, it's a manageable crazy. I love my job and also still really enjoy homeschooling, so that helps propel all of it along. We still do a curriculum where I'm the primary teacher, but the kids are able to do more independent work at this point. Outside of school hours, to their joy and somewhat to my chagrin, they do get more screen time than they used to - no more 1,000 hours outside. (Although I do hope to move school back outside with the return of spring weather!) And I'm grateful to grandparents and church groups for giving me some help with child care and transportation to events. As far as whether we will continue to homeschool - it's a yearly decision. Right now it's working well; each summer, we re-examine what works best for each kid and the family as a whole.
- It's different with special needs: The numbers in this meme are going to look very different for parents of children with special needs, and this also brings a mix of feelings. Part of the assumption in this number is that kids will do things like get a driver's license, move out, and start their own independent life. For kids with special needs, this path often looks different - there will likely be a greater level of parent-child interconnectedness into adulthood. I don't want to comment too specifically on our situation, mostly because I don't want to place any limits on what time will bring, as J continues to achieve things that I wouldn't have guessed possible in the early years. But I am trying to mentally prepare myself that as same-aged peers are thinking about jobs and college applications and first apartments, that our path is likely going to be different on those things. I do feel a greater level of peace after watching things play out over time that whatever J's adult life looks like, it will be good. God has taken care of him and of us through so much, and I feel confident that He will continue to do so.